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How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)


Struggling to Get Matches on Tinder? Here’s What You Need to Know

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Tinder has become the go-to app for people looking to date, hookup, find a long-term relationship, or simply see what kind of interesting singles might be in their area.

Thanks to the ubiquity of smartphones, online dating sites have been waning in favor of dating apps for some time now, and Tinder has cornered a massive portion of the dating app market.

For many young people, the very name of the brand and its functions have become synonymous with dating – you’re likely to hear young singles saying “I’m back on Tinder again!” as a shorthand for their relationship status, and “I’d swipe right!” used as a widely-understood idiom for finding someone attractive.

RELATED: Best Tinder Conversation Starters to Get a Response With

Yes, Tinder is an always-available, pocket-sized method for finding the person of your dreams – or, at the very least, a regret-free hookup – but the app can be frustrating when you don’t completely understand its functionality. To ensure you get the most out of your experience, we’ve compiled a comprehensive guide to dating with Tinder.

Here’s everything you need to know, from how to use Tinder to how to get matches, and how to move from the app to the real world:


1. Does Tinder Work for Guys?


The first question on the minds of plenty of guys is, “Does this thing even work!?” The answer is clear: Yes, it does, but that depends on a few key components entirely under your control. That includes your profile, swiping strategy and messaging technique, as well as first clarifying what you even mean by “work.” Let’s take a closer look at how people use Tinder for different outcomes before moving on to some tips for getting matches:

Is Tinder for Dating or Hooking Up?

There is some confusion about what Tinder is even for. Is it for serious dating, or just for casual hook ups? The short answer is both: You can use Tinder for a variety of reasons, varying from making friends to something casual to dating with the intention of finding your forever person. While Tinder started life as a hookup app, it’s no longer appropriate to assume that everyone who is using it is looking for sex — some really are just looking to extend their social network.

How Do You Know Why Someone Is on Tinder?

If Tinder is used for so many different purposes, how can you tell whether the person in your match list are looking for friendship, hook ups or serious dating? Well, there are a few key signs and phrases. For example, if you see the phrase “no ONS” on Tinder, that stands for “no one-night stands,” and means that person is unlikely to be interested in casual sex. The same goes for phrases like “no hook ups,” “seeking something serious or long-term” and “no players” — anything along these lines will indicate something more serious. Equally, someone hinting at casual sex or a one-night stand will probably use wording like “no strings” or “casual fun only,” or less explicitly, with phrases like “only here for a good time.”

What Are You Looking For?

You can use Tinder for any of the above reasons, but it pays to be clear with yourself and everyone else; if you know exactly what you’re looking for, you’ll have a better chance of finding it. If you’re not looking for anything more than hooking up, you should make that clear, ideally in your bio (“not looking for anything serious,” “seeking hook ups”) or at least once you start chatting to your matches (more on that below). If you’re looking to date seriously, that should also be immediately evident to anyone interacting with you.

Once you’re clear about what you want and you’ve made sure everyone else is, you’re going to need to craft the perfect profile to maximize your chance of getting matches:


2. Crafting Your Tinder Profile


If you’re one of the few remaining singles on Earth still unexperienced with Tinder, the first step is to create the best possible profile with the best possible pictures. Yes, Tinder is largely a looks-based endeavor (most dating apps are) and can sometimes feel superficial for that reason, but remember: It’s not really any different to meeting someone at a party or bar. You tend to approach the people you find physically attractive in real life, and then talk to them to see if there’s a deeper connection, right? It’s the same story with Tinder. Make sure that you’re creating an excellent first impression by following these Tinder photo tips:

Lead Photo

It’s important to use a flattering (but not misleading) picture of yourself in your profile, and starting with a clear, well-composed, smiling image is your best bet. Make sure that your leading pic is a solo shot without other people in it — you don’t want potential matches to fall in love with your best friend. 

RELATED: How a Bad Tinder Profile Photo Can Ruin Your Dating Chances

Helpfully, Tinder has a “smart photo” function which continually tests the success rate of the photos you’ve uploaded to your profile, and automatically shows your best-performing photo to other users first. It’s well worth enabling this function as it doesn’t cost anything extra, and Tinder claims that it boosts right swipes by 12 percent. Like it or not, choosing the right Tinder pictures is the key to your online dating success.

Photo Diversity

Ideally, you want to take advantage of all the photo slots Tinder offers you to provide as much information as possible to potential matches. Consider that your pictures give away crucial information not just about what you look like, but also how you like to spend your time, matches are going to form a certain impression of you depending on whether you’re squatting in the gym, splayed out on a beach with friends or chugging back beer at the game. 

Don’t partake in kittenfishing – the lite version of catfishing – by uploading misleadingly flattering photos, and make sure your images are recent enough to show what you look like now. Remember, there’s no point in being dishonest. It’s all going to come out in the wash when you meet a match IRL, so be upfront from the start. If you’re really having trouble selecting photos, you could consider linking your profile to your Instagram account.

Bio

Your bio is optional, but we highly recommended including one. You’re allowed up to 500 words to showcase your dazzling personality here, but we’d suggest you err on the side of relative brevity as online daters don’t want to read a novel while they’re swiping. Make your bio about you, and keep it short, simple and friendly — it’s a bonus if it’s funny, but you don’t want to come across as trying too hard, either.

All we know about you is that you’re picky and hard to please. Be more positive!

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

Funny, gently self-deprecating and informative without being too long —this is a great bio.


3. How to Use Tinder


Depending on how much money you’re willing to spend, Tinder has several useful options to maximize your chance of getting matches. The Boost function can help for accumulating matches as it pushes you to the front of the match line for people in your area for half an hour. After the Boost session is over, you will see stats on how much more exposure your profile got (4x, 8x, etc), to ensure you got your money’s worth. Of course, you have to pay for the privilege, and free users cannot dictate where in the queue their profiles appear.

One potential pitfall of Tinder is that swiping becomes so reflexive that it is easy to accidentally swipe left on someone because you’re going too fast. In those cases, Tinder’s Rewind function is invaluable — hand over a few bucks, and you can recover the person of your dreams that you accidentally swiped left on (free users will simply need to slow down and pay attention to what they’re doing).

If you’re willing to pay for Tinder’s subscription services, Tinder Plus or Tinder Gold, you can unlock the Passport function, which allows you to swipe in different cities and countries. So, for example, you could be in London but visiting New York in a week’s time, and Passport will let you start swiping on New York-based profiles from across the pond.

However, even if you’re not willing to pay to use Tinder, there are some swiping strategies that are available to you. One is to use the Super Like function, which tells a user you really like them, bringing you to the front of their queue (free users get one Super Like per day). Another is to bear in mind that those who’ve already swiped right on you are likely to show up near the beginning of your queue, so it’s worth paying careful attention to profiles that appear early in your swiping session. That being said, constantly right-swiping to game the system is a bad idea as it just means you’ll match with those you may not be interested in. Swipe right only on people you genuinely hope to match with, so that when you see that coveted, “Congratulations! It’s a match!” alert, it actually means something.

Tinder Plus

Tinder has now introduced a “Tinder Plus” option: A paid version of the app which gives you various benefits — at a cost, of course. 

So, what are the advantages to Tinder Plus that make it worth all that extra money? Here are some of the touted benefits:

Match Around the World

One coveted benefit of Tinder Plus is the ability to match with users around the world, as opposed to just in your area. So, if you live in California but have an upcoming holiday in Paris, for example, you can start swiping in Paris and accumulating matches before you even arrive. Tinder is truly a global dating service.

Rewind Left Swipes

Another prized feature of Tinder Plus is the ability to rewind your last swipe. This means that if you accidentally swipe left on a user and instantly regret it (because you’re swiping too fast, perhaps), you can “rewind” the swipe, bringing that user back into view so that you can correct your mistake and swipe right instead.

Super Likes

Tinder Plus also allows you to send more Super Likes. Hit the blue star instead of the green check mark and you will show up near the beginning of this specific Tinder user’s queue with a notification that you used your Super Like. The Super Like helps you show a potential match that you are definitely interested, and it will guarantee that you are made visible without a guarantee that they’ll swipe right on you (sorry, but no Tinder feature can force a right swipe or guarantee a match!)

Tinder Plus users get five Super Likes per day compared to the sole daily Super Like allotted to regular users.

Boosts

Tinder Plus users get one free “boost” a week, which means that Tinder will make you the top profile in your area for 30 minutes. Ordinary Tinder users can also pay for individual boosts via the app at a rate that changes depending on how many boosts you buy. This is a way to potentially get more matches by making you much more visible to other users, but again, it’s no guarantee, so spend wisely.

Turning Off Ads

Tinder Plus users won’t see ads. This is perhaps the least tempting of Tinder Plus’ range of benefits as ads are a relatively minor annoyance for regular users, but it still doesn’t hurt.

Swipe Life

To assist users in their dating lives, Tinder has launched a lifestyle website, Swipe Life, a resource where singles can visit for advice when navigating dating in the digital space. The website offers date ideas, dating stories, the best restaurants and bars for dates in different cities and a whole bunch of fun and playful content catering to the general Tinder users.


4. Frequently Asked Tinder Questions


So is everything crystal clear? We won’t blame you if all of the above sounds pretty confusing, as Tinder is becoming ever more complicated and laden with new features. While you should be able to understand the basic mechanics of using the app now, there are still some common questions on people’s minds when it comes to using Tinder:

If You Swipe Left, Are They Gone Forever?

One question on the minds of many men is the permanence of the left swipe. If I’m not interested in someone and swipe left, does this mean I can’t change my mind at a later point?

The short answer is yes: Once you swipe left on someone, they are gone and will not return to your queue. However, there are two caveats. The first is that Tinder Plus users can rewind swipes, as mentioned above, so if you think you accidentally swiped left on your soulmate, you’re going to need to shell out some cash for the ability to rewind.

RELATED: Check Out AskMen’s Official Tinder Review

The second is that Tinder is still a bit buggy, and from time to time users have reported seeing left-swiped users popping back up into their queue. It’s also possible to delete your account and start again with a fresh account, meaning that you will have a chance of seeing someone you swiped left on once again. However, these are not rock solid options, and there’s no guaranteed way to revisit a left-swiped user — unless you have Tinder Plus, that is.

If You Swipe Left, Can They See You?

A Tinder user will not be notified or otherwise alerted if you swipe left on them, meaning that you don’t need to feel too worried about hurting someone’s feelings. Obviously, if someone swipes right on you and you aren’t a match, they’ll know that you haven’t swiped right, but this could be for a variety of reasons: Either you haven’t seen their profile yet, or you are not a frequent user of the app, or you have indeed swiped left for a variety of potential reasons. 

How Do You Know If Someone Swiped Right on You?

The only way that you can tell for sure if someone has swiped right on you is to swipe right on them, too. However, we’ll let you in on a secret: People who’ve already swiped right on you are likely to show up near the beginning of your queue, so it could be worth paying careful attention to them as you are likelier to be a match.

How Long Does It Take to Get a Match?

There is no set answer for how long it takes to get matches on Tinder. In fact, there’s no rock solid guarantee you will get matches at all. However, if you have a strong profile and sound swiping strategy, you could theoretically be getting matches as soon as you start swiping, though for most people, it will take from a few hours to a few days to start seeing results.

How Long Do Matches Stay?

Tinder matches and any associated messages will remain until either you or your match deletes their Tinder account. Tinder users also have the option of “unmatching” users, which means that even if you become a match, either one of you can change your mind and unmatch the other. Otherwise, Tinder matches hang around until you decide to finally strike up a conversation, unlike other apps such as Bumble which instill a time limitation.

Why Don’t You Have Matches Yet?

If you have been using Tinder for a while and still don’t have any matches, you’ll need to reevaluate your profile. Check out the profile section above, and perhaps even consult a friend or two who  could help make your profile more attractive and appealing.

Can You Find People You Know on Tinder?

It’s perfectly possible to see someone you know appearing on your queue on Tinder. If one of your friends or coworkers lives in your area and happens to be on Tinder with the same age and gender parameters as you, they may well appear in your queue, and vice versa. That’s just how social media works, folks!

Some people find the prospect of being seen on Tinder slightly embarrassing, but there’s really no reason to. It’s a hugely popular dating app and people use it for a variety of different reasons, plus your friend or coworker is also a user! If you see someone you know, you could swipe right and have a laugh about it if you match, or else just swipe left and forget about it.

Should I Swipe Right on Everyone to Get More Matches?

Constantly right-swiping to game the system is a bad idea. Swiping right indiscriminately just means you’ll match with people you may not be interested in, which is annoying for them and you, wasting their time and clogging up your messages. Swipe right only on those you genuinely hope to match with so that when you see that coveted, “Congratulations! It’s a match!” alert, it actually means something. Not only that, but new iterations of the app penalize indiscriminate swipers, so you’re better off being choosy.


5. Sending the Right First Tinder Message


Success! You’ve matched with that hottie with cute photos and a witty bio, and now you’re in the enviable position of being able to talk to them directly. Don’t rest on your laurels just because you know they’ve swiped right on you, though, as you can make or break the match depending on your approach. A lazy or creepy opener might even mean that they unmatch you, blocking you from any further contact.

RELATED: How to Talk to Girls on Tinder, Explained

Your opening line is crucial. Your matches are likely to have dozens of other potential prospects in their Tinder messages section, most of whom will be approaching with a tired, “Hey,” or, “How are you?” There’s no need to overcook it by opening the conversation with a sonnet, but it will work in your favor if you approach in a friendly, novel and interested way. Try asking an unusual question, like “If you won a million dollars today, what’s the first thing you’d do?” or compliment a particular detail in one of their photos (“That’s a really cute French bulldog! Is it yours?”)

A disappointing number of male Tinder users think it’s appropriate to start a conversation with lewd innuendo and overtly sexual “compliments” right off the bat, such as the below gentlemen:

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

Guys, please: Don’t start a conversation like this. Not every person is on Tinder looking for casual sex, but even those who are keen on a no-strings hookup are unlikely to be swept off their feet by a rude and juvenile approach. Make your approach flirty and friendly, and definitely avoid the negging strategy advocated by so-called pickup artists: Backhanded compliments are not going to endear you to anyone at the best of times, but they might be even worse on Tinder or other dating apps, where you can easily be unmatched with a couple of finger taps. Be positive, complimentary and charismatic instead.

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

If you find yourself pleading into a void, it’s time to move on.

Another thing to bear in mind when talking to your Tinder matches is that defensive, passive aggressive opening lines are fairly common, but rarely ever work: “Quite a lot of selfies you’ve got there,” for example, or “I guess I’ll get the ball rolling because women never start talking first.”

Don’t dump your frustrations onto your poor, unsuspecting Tinder match! Instead, spend a minute or two crafting something friendly and subtly flirty (or check out these Tinder conversation starters for ideas), and finish with a question to keep the banter flowing. Being kind and showing enough genuine interest to keep the conversation rolling is a winning strategy and should help to convert your matches into IRL dates.


6. How to Land a Tinder Date


Hopefully your opening line (or theirs!) has progressed into a natural, lively conversation, and you’re now both interested enough in each other to go on a first date. It can be a useful first step to exchange phone numbers so that you can text or chat over the phone, because Tinder’s messaging system can make for slow-moving and disjointed conversation. Apart from that, Tinder dates work like any other: Think of something pleasant to do, and show up on the agreed time and date, looking sharp and ready to have a great time.

When to Ask Them Out

There’s wiggle room here, and every user will have a different idea of the ideal time to progress from Tinder conversation to an IRL date. However, it’s not out-of-place to ask for a date within a day or two of chatting, or even an hour or two if things are going brilliantly. If you’re really hitting it off and you’ve had a great conversation, it’s fine to say something like, “You seem really cool! Would you like to grab a drink sometime?”

Don’t be too perturbed or offended if they say no — some are cagey about people from Tinder and may wish to wait a while before bringing it into the IRL realm, while others will relish the opportunity to meet in person. You really just have to try your luck by asking.

Where Should We Meet?

You are much more likely to convince someone to meet with you IRL if you suggest meeting at a cafe or bar rather than at your house or hotel room. Even those who are interested in using Tinder for casual sex are unlikely to want to come straight to your bedroom for a variety of reasons including their own safety. Remember, you two are essentially still strangers even if you’ve had a lively conversation on Tinder, so take things slowly and be sensible. In short, meet in public.

How Many People Actually Meet Through Tinder?

For fairly obvious reasons, it’s impossible to know with any certainty how many people are actually meeting up with their Tinder matches. But rest assured that it’s happening — ask any of your friends or coworkers who use the app and they can regale you with stories about their Tinder dates, both good and bad, and Tinder’s Twitter account even claims that the app is leading to a “sh*t ton” of marriages (although hard data is thin on the ground here).

So that’s how Tinder works: From swiping to crafting your profile all the way through to sending the perfect opener and setting up a great date, we’ve got you covered. Tinder can be as effective in finding a new relationship as more traditional dating sites like Zoosk. Stick to the advice above and you can’t go too far wrong.

It’s true that Tinder can be frustrating and that some users are time-wasters, but it can also be an incredible way to meet people who you would otherwise never have encountered. Once you have a handle on how the technology works, simple, timeworn techniques are still what it takes to make approaching dates rewarding rather than scary. Be warm, interested and gracious in the face of rejection, and it’s hard to imagine things going too badly for you. Now, get swiping!

Read the full AskMen review of Tinder here.


7. Best Alternatives to Tinder


Of course, Tinder isn’t the only option out there, and in fact the user experience can be pretty exhausting. Tinder is hugely popular and has its perks — an intuitive interface, millions of users and the fact that most features are free, for a start — but there are real downsides, too, and the fast pace, unresponsiveness, superficiality and difficulty of transitioning into IRL might start to get you wondering what else is out there in terms of dating tools.

Well, there are plenty of other options if you know where to look. If you’re willing to pay to get a better experience, check out the following alternatives:


Match

match screenshot

Match.com has all of the usual features of a reliable dating site, but one advantage that stands out in particular: you get a generous six-month money back guarantee. So, you can really experiment with how things are going for you and how much luck you’re having on the site before you have to truly commit — financially, that is.

While approval on the site is not instant and the month-to-month costs are higher than average once you are approved, you’re in for a strong user experience once you’re in the ranks: a continually improved algorithm guides your matches and incorporates user feedback and behavior, and new features are being added all the time.

Click here to check out Match.com.


Zoosk

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

Zoosk was voted the #1 dating site in AskMen’s awards for a reason: it has a large member base and user-friendly mobile app, a layout that’s easy on the eye and simple to navigate, and multiple options for promoting your profile and increasing your chances of getting matches.

You are going to need to do things the old fashioned way and browse profiles one-by-one, but, hey, that might actually be a good thing after the indiscriminate swiping that goes on on Tinder. Zoosk is well worth a try.

Click here to check out Zoosk.com.


EliteSingles

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

Targeting a sophisticated, slightly older market, Elite Singles is the go-to site for serious and professional singles looking for a genuine connection.

The site uses a questionnaire that analyzes 29 character traits and matches you accordingly — there’s a commendable focus on personality rather than looks alone here — and while the signup process is admittedly lengthy, you’ll be browsing comprehensive profiles of women who are serious about dating once you’re in — no time-wasters or ghosters here!

Click here to check out EliteSingles.com.


AdultFriendFinder

How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)

On the sexier side, AdultFriendFinder is the go-to avenue if you’re looking to explore your fetishes, or if you’d like to facilitate various sexual arrangements online. It’s a reputable site with a large, loyal, open-minded membership — we’re not talking some sleazy internet corner here — and you can express your sexual self through profiles, blogs, webcams and more.

No one’s 100% sure on the male-to-female ratio (the data isn’t publicly available), but it’s worth checking out if you’re wanting to explore your more primal side in a safe environment.

Check out AdultFriendFinder


8. More Tinder Info


Not quite satisfied? No worries! We’ve got more Tinder content for you. 

Tinder’s LGBTQ Efforts

The most recent additions to Tinder are designed protect and better include the LGBTQ community (who account for an estimated 24 percent of the U.S. population) in an effort to facilitate the company’s belief that “everyone should be able to love who they want to love.” 

ILGA’s executive director, André du Plessis, praised Tinder’s effort, saying, “We work hard to change practices, laws and attitudes that put LGBTQ people at risk — including the use of dating apps to target our community — but in the meantime, the safety of our communities also depends on supporting their digital safety.” The following are Tinder’s efforts to support and protect the LGBT community.

Orientation

Tinder partnered with GLAAD to allow users to select and display their sexual orientation on their profiles. To make the designation, simply edit your profile, tap “Orientation” and select the identity that best suits you. By visiting your Discovery Preferences, you can view people of your same orientation first.

Traveler Alert

As an added precautionary measure, Tinder worked with ILGA World to introduce what they’ve dubbed a Traveler Alert that will appear when Tinder is opened in one of the 69 countries where same-sex relationships are illegal. (FYI: In nine countries, including Iran and Saudi Arabia, prosecutors can seek the death penalty against same-sex acts and relationships.) This feature protects users from unknowingly placing themselves in a potentially dangerous circumstance. With Traveler Alert, queer people will not appear on Tinder when they open the app in these areas. Once the alert is activated, users will have the choice to remain hidden or opt into making their profile public – without information indicating their sexuality – so that they can connect with new people. Users’ profiles will return back to normal once they leave a protected area.

How Tinder Works

Considering it’s an app people use in order to potentially meet the love of their life, people are very curious about how exactly Tinder works.

The app’s user interface is more complicated now than when it was first launched, but the essential principle remains the same: Swipe left on profiles you’re not interested in, right on profiles you are and you chat with your matches when both of you indicate interest.

But how, you might be wondering, does Tinder decide who to show to whom, and in what order? That’s the real question at the heart of how Tinder works. 

The answer, similar to almost every app out there today, is a proprietary algorithm whose exact details are secret to the general public. However, we do know a few things about how the Tinder algorithm works.

The Old Model

A 2016 article revealed that at the time, Tinder used a ranking algorithm to assign each user a score based on how people swipe on them — the more left swipes you get, the lower your score goes; the more right swipes, the higher your score rises. 

However, it wasn’t as simple as simply adding or subtracting one point every time someone swipes right or left on you. The algorithm is apparently based on the complex ELO score used to rate chess players, meaning who is swiping is also a factor. 

If someone with a high score swiped right on you, you’d be likely to jump higher than if someone with a low score swiped right on you. Similarly, a high score swiping left on you would drop you further than a low score swiping left on you. 

In this way, people who got a lot of right swipes — the Tinder elite, if you will — had a greater impact on people’s scores than people most people aren’t crazy about. 

The New Model

However, in 2019, Tinder announced that they had moved away from the ranking model in favor of something that tracks your like patterns to get an idea of what type of person each user is interested in. 

As well, Tinder keeps track of things like how much time you spend on the app, how often you return to it and what percentage of swipes are right vs. left in order to develop a profile of what type of user you are, which it uses to construct your user experience — who you see, and in what order. 

In short, nothing you do when on the app seems to go unnoticed. The app knows that data analytics is key to producing a more streamlined product, and they’re not shy about using it. Next time you see someone’s profile pop up, know that they’re being put there according to a very complex set of calculations. 

Whether those calculations will lead to anything more, though? That’s a whole other layer of complexity that even Tinder’s data analysts can’t accurately predict. The only way to find out is to swipe right and see if you match. 

What’s Next for Tinder

Tinder’s become the go-to online dating platform for American singles for since its introduction back in 2012, but the app isn’t interested in sitting on its laurels. 

2020 marks a year where Tinder is making serious strides when it comes to an often under-considered aspect of the user experience for dating apps: the user’s safety once they put their phone down and begin the actual date. 

Noonlight

Tinder’s finally recognizing that it has a role to play in making sure a Tinder date doesn’t go south in a horrible way. Partnering with a service called Noonlight, the app is giving its users the opportunity to notify others when they’re going on a date, when and where it’s going to be and an option to quickly alert authorities if they begin to feel unsafe.

Photo Verification

As well, Tinder is unveiling a system where users can verify their profiles by taking a real-time photo. Tinder’s internal software will attempt to match it to your existing, uploaded profile pictures, and if the pictures you uploaded and the new, candid picture you took are judged to be of the same person, you’ll get a little checkmark icon next to your name in the app. 

It’s a little detail that can help ensure that you don’t end up getting catfished by someone who looks nothing like their picture. However, this functionality won’t be necessary for all users, so people without check marks might be fakers (or they might just be lazy).

Improved Messaging

Tinder is introducing another feature aimed at improving the general tone of discourse in chats between matches. 

While it takes two right swipes to create a conversation, that’s no guarantee of conversational compatibility, sadly, and Tinder’s been dogged for years with a reputation for fostering unfriendly and sometimes downright abusive conversations. In fact, it’s an aspect of the app that’s only contributed to Bumble’s success as a Tinder-like app with a vastly different messaging set-up (men can only message a match once the women has sent an opening message). 

Now, Tinder will attempt to flag unpleasant messages before they’re even sent, asking users if they want to “undo” a message it deems potentially unpleasant. As well, users have the option to report interactions that make them feel uncomfortable. 

Safety Center

To round out the suite of safety-oriented additions and updates to the app, Tinder is also adding a “Safety Center” to the app, where you can go to discover handy additional resources on dating safety. 

This might not sound like a huge deal, but easy access to crucial, potentially life-saving information and hotlines that pertain to sex and dating will now be much closer at hand, which could make a huge difference for some users who might not otherwise seek it out.

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What Your Number of Sexual Partners Says About You

How Many People Have You Slept With? Here’s What That Number Means

“What’s your number?” is a question that many couples dread, yet still bravely pose in hopes of gaining insight into each other’s sexual pasts.

But tread carefully — too much information could leave your partner feeling insecure or uncomfortable once they’ve heard the answer. So are we obligated to tell our partners how many people we’ve slept with if asked? If it’s not brought up, is it even a conversation worth initiating? And do we have to be truthful when it does come up?

RELATED: Best Dating Apps for Hooking Up

According to a 2018 Superdrug survey of more than 2,000 men and women, 81 percent of respondents think your number is something you should talk about within the first eight months of dating, while 30 percent think a discussion of your sexual history is necessary within the first month of the relationship.

In the 2011 comedy “What’s Your Number,” Ally (Anna Farris) is beside herself after discovering a magazine article statistic that claims the number of men she’s slept with is alarmingly high. By the film’s end, she ultimately learns to embrace her number rather than stressing about it, but it’s the plot that points to a very relevant subject in today’s dating world: Your “number” can be a source of pride, shame or a whole range of other emotions. As such, sharing that number with someone else can feel vulnerable AF.

Before you go tallying up your hookups, there are a lot of things to consider to ensure that the conversation is productive as opposed to problematic.

Here’s everything you need to know about revealing your sexual history, and what your number of partners says about you.

Should I Tell My Partner My Number?

Dr. Dawn Michael, clinical sexologist and relationship expert, notes that once you’ve decided to tackle this subject, it’s important to be open and honest to the extent of feeling safe and supported. If it’s your partner that brings it up, Michael recommends digging into why they want to know.

“There usually is a reason,” she explains. “Perhaps they want a sex history because of STDs, but it’s necessary to go into the details or offer information that the other person is not asking for. If you really feel uncomfortable, you can leave that information out or shorten your response.”

If you’re the one asking, you should be prepared to talk about your sexual history, too. Additionally, Michael says that you can’t really predict how your partner will respond to your number. If they become jealous, shut down or otherwise react negatively, you’ll need to explore those feelings with them further.

“Each person is unique and there is no right or wrong answer about sharing your past sexual experiences,” she notes. “But if both people are mature and can deal with the information, then share away.”

Could My Number of Sexual Partners Be Too High or Too Low?

According to the aforementioned survey, Americans’ average number is around 7.2 sexual partners in their lifetimes. That said, the number ranges quite dramatically from state to state — the average for Louisiana residents was 15.7 partners, while it was 2.6 for Utah residents. It’s important to note that these statistics refer to the average number over an entire lifetime, and your number will be heavily impacted by factors such as age, location and upbringing. It’s next to impossible to determine whether a number is “normal” or not, but if it falls between 7 and 16, it’s on par with the rest of the country.

What If I (or My Partner) Have No Interest in Revealing Who We’ve Slept With?

There’s always a chance that your partner won’t want to disclose how many people they’ve slept with, either because they feel embarrassed about it, they’re worried it might change your perception of them or both. If that’s the case, you shouldn’t push them for information they aren’t ready to share. Keep in mind, however, that their hesitance to reveal their number may point to some trust issues. That’s why Dr. Joshua Klapow, clinical psychologist and host of “The Kurre and Klapow Show,” advises asking why they don’t want to talk about it.

“You can and should respect their right to privacy, but at the same time they should respect your request,” he explains. “This also comes down to why are you asking and why are they not telling. What benefit are you getting from knowing, and what benefit are they getting from keeping it from you?”

How Can I Make Sure This Conversation Is Mutually Comfortable and Respectful?

If you and your partner decide to tackle this topic, there are some ways to minimize the chances of any issues arising. First, having the conversation in the comfort of your own home is key. You also may want to wait to bring it up until your partner is calm (not after a stressful day at work, or when they’re rushing around for an appointment).

Also, be sure to keep things short, simple and to the point.

“While you are discussing how many [people you’ve had sex with], the intimate details are in your past and do not need to be discussed,” says Klapow. “This is a time to neither share too much information nor clam up. Respect boundaries, but also recognize that your willingness to answer the question shows your transparency and trust in your partner.”

What Does It Say About Someone Who Overestimates Their Number? What About Underestimating?

In the Superdrug’s survey, a whopping 41.3 percent of men and 32.6 percent of women admitted to lying about their sexual history. That’s no real shock — men were more likely to increase their number, whereas women were more likely to decrease it. This likely stems back to outdated social norms that put pressure on men to have more sexual experience to appear masculine, and put pressure on women to have less experience so as not to seem promiscuous.

A 2018 study published in “The Journal of Sex Research” also found that men are more likely to estimate rather than actually count their sexual partners, which could obviously suggest that their numbers are less accurate.

Clearly, it’s pretty common to fudge your number a bit, but what does that say about you? Whether you add or subtract a few sexual partners, it all boils down to insecurity. Either you don’t feel good about your sexual history, or you fear your partner will judge you.

“If you have been with hundreds of people with highly promiscuous behavior in the past, underestimating may help protect the feelings of your partner,” suggests Klapow. Honesty is the best policy, but it’s also about being considerate. Remember that over or underestimating calls your trust into question, which is critical to your relationship.”

That said, there’s a difference between being honest and showing off.

“Bragging about your past partners shows a lack of compassion for your partner,” he adds.

Does My Number of Sexual Partners Say Anything About Me as a Person?

The only thing that your number actually says about you, according to Klapow, is how much sexual experience you have.

“The reasons for the number is where the important relationship information is,” he says. “Did you develop sexual interests later in life? Did you have less activity for religious reasons? Were there sexual traumas? Were you promiscuous because you love sex or were you promiscuous to get attention?”

Ultimately, Michael notes that the most important thing is not the number itself, but how you feel about it.

“If you are uncomfortable or comfortable about it, that’s what counts,” she explains.

Only you and your partner can determine whether this is a conversation that’s going to prove helpful or harmful. When executed with caution, it’s a discussion that can foster intimacy and build trust. As long as you feel secure in your past decisions, as well as your current relationship, you should be able to have an honest exchange sans awkwardness, anxiety and judgement.

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How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Want to Win Back “The One That Got Away”?

You idiot. What did you do to screw this one up? OK, calm down and take a few deep breaths. This isn’t the end of the world. Losing the one you love aka the One That Got Away™ may seem like it’s the end of the world, but I can assure you that it’s not. While the feelings circling through your stomach, heart, and brain are currently at their most uncomfortable state, there is plenty to do to win back the one you lost. All it takes is a little bit of sticktoitiveness and a slight suspension in self-respect … but just for a little bit. If Brad Pitt’s recent encounter with Jennifer Aniston at the SAG awards is any indication, that spark you two once had can potentially be reignited.

RELATED: Post-Breakup Rules

Here you’ll find everything you need to do get back the one that got away.

1. Apologize Profusely … If It’s Your Fault

What happened? Look, let’s straighten out the facts before they blow up in your face. If either one of you did something completely morally reprehensible, then you should truly consider if it’s worth getting back together. Some couples can get through something like infidelity, but some couples can’t. You two will know in your heart if there’s an issue you can get through, but if you broke up over a silly who-said-what quarrel, then apologize like your life depends on it. Make sure it’s something you actually feel sorry about, though, as this will be the basis of your new relationship.

2. Make an Effort to Change Yourself

Nobody should have the ability to make you act the opposite way you intended. If you hate oranges — and I mean truly hate them — you can’t be expected to suddenly love oranges with the coos of someone you love. That being said, there are some qualities that cannot (and should not) be changed. On the other hand, there are some qualities that absolutely can stand to be tweaked. If your untidiness and interest in hoarding old bottles drove her wild, consider changing your act. In the end, do you want to be on your deathbed with the one you love or surrounded by your hobbies and foibles for all to see? Forget the Coke bottles, damn it.

3. Be The Cusack

There are so many good movies out there in which star-crossed lovers have to defy the odds to be with one another — a lot of those movies feature John Cusack. In one of his most memorable roles in Say Anything, he plays Lloyd Dobler who holds a goddamn boom box over his head (blasting Peter Gabriel of all people) to get the love of his life back. Guess what: it eventually works. While not everyone likes Peter Gabriel and even fewer people have access to a boom box, doing that one huge romantic gesture is something she won’t be used to. Maybe it’s surprising her with a dozen roses, or chocolate, or a new puppy covered in roses, showing you’ll go the distance for her will almost definitely help break through that icy layer of anger. BE THE CUSACK.

4. Use Your Words

Don’t message her on Facebook, don’t favorite her tweet, don’t show your affection via a stray like on Instagram — hell, don’t even try to get back together on the phone. Put down your phone if you can stand it and have a face-to-face conversation like adults. You’d be incredibly surprised to know how much emotion and meaning gets lost in translation when communicated through a text message. An innocent “It’s OK” can be turned into a cold and scathing version of itself when the other party is upset enough to interpret it as such. So, just grab coffee together and work out your differences with your mouth holes.

5. Offer a Solution

OK, so maybe it wasn’t an argument that drove you two apart, maybe it was a natural disaster like moving across the country. If you gave or were given the whole “the universe will bring us back together” speech and know that the universe doesn’t particularly give a shit about two young adults in love, offer a solution. If she’s in New York and you’re in Ohio, make a schedule. You’re going to visit each other every month and talk on the phone every night. If that doesn’t work, find a compromise that does. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is giving up and leaving their fate in the hands of this foggy unknown force that is the universe. It sounds romantic to say that you’ll eventually end up back together, but have you seen how many attractive people are in New York? She’s gonna find a new boyfriend faster than you can say “universe.”

6. Change The Relationship

If you broke up over the state of your relationship, whether it was too stale or rocky, simply change it. If it takes some particularly un-sexy planning in which you sit down together and figure out what you’re going to do and when, just do it. It may not sound fun to put “sexy time” in your iPhone calendar, but when that notification pops up and you follow through with your plans, you’ve already progressed in changing your habits. Let’s say you’ve ended things because you couldn’t find time alone with her and your roommates were constantly getting in the way of your relationship, consider moving in together. It’s not that hard.

7. End Your Fling

Being single, no matter how long, is a perfect time to test your bachelorhood and date a bunch of different people to make sure you’re fine with your choice. Once you’ve gone through and had sex with the entire Mid-Atlantic region of the United States and are sure the one that got away is the one for you, then end your fling. Just end it. If she’s gone through the same process, assume she’s learned the same vital information about herself that you have. No matter how you cut it, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

8. Don’t End The Conversation

There’s a reason you keep coming back together. If you truly didn’t want to be together, you wouldn’t be. Keep the dialogue open and relish the time you have with one another. There’s never going to be a relationship as seamless and easy as you imagine and that’s totally fine. Nobody’s perfect and two not-perfect people together are bound to make for a not-perfect relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should give up. If you’re worried that things are going downhill, ask her if everything is alright. Sometimes your insecurities will take hold and send the relationship into a bad spot when everything was going better than you thought in the first place. Keep talking, keep planning, and never stop being romantic.


Need specific help on how to get your ex back? Head to guyQ to ask our community of experts.


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20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in 2020

How to Get Out There and Find the One for You in the New Year

There’s this common belief that falling in love is something that just happens to us. Despite all our efforts, there’s nothing we can truly do except hope that the next person we meet is “the one.”

RELATED: Best Dating Apps for Relationships

Sure, it might just be a type of right place, right time situation when it comes to meeting the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stack the deck in your favor. There are plenty of ways to cast yourself in the best light, increasing your chances for meeting the person who completes you.

If your 2020 resolution is to finally find the right person, you’ve come to the right place. Here are 20 expert tips for finding love this year.


20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in 2020


1. Put Yourself Out There

This might be the most common advice people doled out when it comes to finding love. In fact, you may be reading this thinking, “How much more could I possibly be out there?” Well, putting yourself out there goes beyond just simple things like visibility on dating apps or frequenting your corner bar.

“Create more opportunities for you to meet other people, learn new things, and generally improve and expand your life,” says relationship expert Amy Hartle. “These should be things you actually WANT to do; activities you actually have an interest in. When you focus on doing the things you love, the right person will come into your life – not only because you’re putting yourself out there and taking chances, but because when you’re focused on the things you love, you become the best version of yourself. A potential partner gets to see you in your element.”

2. Take a Class

“Education improves who you are and exposes you to not only potential partners who may be in the class, but many others who are around the educational facility,” says relationship therapist Andrew Aaron. “Those who value education also share many other good values and thereby increasing the chance to meet someone special of high quality.”

3. Perform Volunteer Work

What’s a cause you truly care about? Volunteering helps to improve your overall mood and self-esteem, and connects you with others who share the same values.

“Unlike on a dating website or Tinder where deception and distortion are easy, participating in a group effort actually takes a commitment – something that separates those who are low in motivation from those who are vital, ambitious and determined,” says Aaron.

4. Be Open to Finding Love in All Different Places

Opportunity waits for no man, so don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with a potential match at the grocery store, on an airplane or anywhere you meet someone who catches your eye.

“Being open can mean something as simple as making eye contact with others,” says therapist Lauren Cook. “As you enter 2020, commit to actually ‘seeing’ other people in the new year by looking at those around you.”

5. Network With Dates Who Didn’t Work Out

This may seem like strange advice, but according to marriage and family therapist Dana McNeil, the more you expand your social circle, the more likely it is you’ll meet someone.

“If you and a date don’t work out having a love match, but you really like the person and their character, there is no reason you can’t help each other to network your perspective groups of friends or family members,” she says. “If you are both able to be mature and acknowledge that a love connection isn’t happening for the two of you, why not put your collective network to good use and consider if there is someone that either of you knows who might be a good match?”

6. Ask People in Your Life to Set You Up

“It is very likely the people you admire and genuinely care for in your world hang out with and have a close relationship with other admirable and quality people who may also be looking for a new love,” says McNeil. “Letting your network (co-workers, neighbors, colleagues, etc.) know you are open to and interested in meeting some new people this year is just reinforcing your efforts with help from a community who probably has your back, and wants to help you find the best match.”

7. Leave Selfies and Filters in 2019

Speaking of online dating profiles, start putting your true self out there in 2020.

“Dating profiles that are filled with selfies make that person look like they have no social life, or like they love themselves more than anyone else ever could,” says dating profile writer Eric Resnick. “You don’t need a ton of group shots in your profile, but have your friend’s take some pics for you. You are going to have a much more natural smile when you are relaxing with your friends than when you are trying to look at the screen with one eye and at the lens with the other.”

8. Don’t Just “Spray and Pray” Online Dating Messages

Sending out the same message to hundreds of potential matches online may make your inbox more full, but if you’re serious about finding love this year, Resnick says to go for quality over quantity.

“Don’t message a woman unless there’s some evidence in her profile that she’s looking for someone like you,” he says.

9. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Off the Wheel

Dating apps can be great tools to help you find love, but they can also burn you out. If it’s too much to handle, it’s alright if you want to take a breather.

“Online dating should not be a part-time job,” says Resnick. “If you’re spending more than 20 minutes of your day on it in 2019, it’s time to limit yourself in 2020. FOMO isn’t real here, but burnout is. The people you don’t see today will still be there tomorrow, but your will to find them might not be.”

10. Know What You Value

What actually matters to you in a relationship? Getting clear on what you value most in a potential partner will help make it clear when you’ve found the right one for you.

“When you are unsure what matters to you in a relationship, it can be easy to be swayed purely by chemistry rather than an actual character traits connection,” says Cook. “Does your ideal life include adventure, safety, achievement, connection, creativity? From this, you can begin identifying what matters most to you.”

11. Be Vulnerable Where It Matters

“Many of us either operate in a space where we are totally closed off or share too much,” says Cook. “Find a happy medium where you are willing to connect in a safe and open way that allows you to get to know someone. You can still protect your heart without appearing guarded and defensive. If you notice that your partner has a wall up as well, carefully consider if they are at a place in their lives where they are willing to be thoughtfully vulnerable as well. In other words: Don’t date someone who is not open to love at this time.”

12. Own Who You Are and What You Want in a Relationship

If you really want to be in a serious relationship, why pretend you don’t to appease someone else? It’s okay to make that known.

“Pretending to be interested in only casually dating or portraying yourself as someone who is willing to hook up without a commitment when that isn’t who you are is not going to serve you in relationships,” says McNeil. “You send mixed messages to both the new partner and yourself by accepting less than you want. The right person for you will find it refreshing and attractive that you are willing to own who you are, and state your expectations about what you are looking for regardless of whether or not the other person agrees or validates you.”

13. Stop Being So Rigid in Your Expectations

You may have a prepared plan as to what you want out of the person you date, but make sure you’re focused on the right things.

“So many of my clients shoot people down before they ever have a chance to meet because of their ‘requirements’ for a new partner,” says McNeil. “Not every woman has to be a perfect size two in order to be a fit.” Instead, make a list of must-haves based on what a potential new person values – “their character, their ability to take personal responsibility for their behaviors, and sense of genuine concern for their needs,” continues McNeil. “Then you are more likely to find someone who is actually a good long-term fit.”

14. Consider Therapy to Learn How to Set Healthy Boundaries

“The common denominator in all your relationships is you,” says McNeil. “If you feel you give more than you receive in relationships and they often leave you feeling disappointed, frustrated, victimized or resentful, you may have difficulties setting healthy boundaries in relationships.”

If you find yourself feeling that no matter how hard you try, nothing you ever do is good enough, or you catch yourself walking on eggshells out of fear about how your partner will respond to you, it’s time to do some work on yourself.

15. Evaluate Your Beliefs About Dating

Your beliefs about the dating landscape you’re in can impact whether or not you’ll be successful. Meaning, if your internal monologue consists of feeling like women never notice you, that you have to be a bodybuilder in order to get any attention or that all the good ones are taken, it’s time to challenge that thought process.

“Our beliefs create our reality, so really examine what thoughts you think on a regular basis about dating,” says relationship expert Kat Trimarco. “What if these beliefs weren’t true? As you choose different thoughts that are more in alignment with what you want to experience, these new thoughts over time become your beliefs and shape the new experiences you’ll have. Your willingness to see things differently will open up doors to meeting new people.”

16. Have a First Date Plan

When you’re going on a first date with someone you barely know, it can be tempting to leave the date up to chance. As Aaron explains, taking initiative to thoughtfully plan out a first date can really work to your advantage.

“Having planned for the date shows forethought; it signals to your date that she or he is important and worthy of your time,” he says. “Pre-planning also shows leadership, a fine strength to demonstrate. Share the plan as a way of keeping your date informed of what will happen, but also to get agreement that the plan will be pleasing to them.”

17. Incorporate an Activity Into Your Next Date

If firing questions back and forth at a bar on first dates isn’t getting you anywhere, Aaron suggests planning a date that focuses on an activity both of you enjoy.

“A date that incorporates a physical element adds a source of conversation,” says Aaron. “Taking a walk, riding bikes, going bowling, exploring a location, dancing, and climbing stairs to see a beautiful view are all examples.”

18. Listen More Than Talk on Your First Few Dates

“I often tell my clients that the people you date will generally tell you who they are within the first few dates,” says McNeil. “Allow yourself to have potentially uncomfortable silences without rushing to fill the void. Let the other person share the responsibility of creating a space that feels mutually acceptable, and see if the other person is aware of your needs during conversations.”

19. Believe There Will Be a Second Date

The goal of any first date is to get to date number two, but going into a first date with that pressure hanging over your head can actually work against you.

“The best way to get a second date after a first date? Decide that there’s going to be a second date before that first date even starts,” says relationship expert Jenny Block. “Instead, enjoy the date. Look for the positive. Remember that love at first sight is mostly in the movies, and love that grows is the kind of love that lasts. You just might be surprised by what you discover about a person when you’re looking for their best instead of their worst.”

20. Go On a Second Date Even If the First One Wasn’t “Perfect”

“Many of my clients tell me they give someone just one date to get it right, and if they don’t feel a spark, then they move on,” says McNeil. “Have you ever considered that maybe you should give someone a few dates to get comfortable, and allow some of the nerves to die down so they can show you who they really are? Give this person a few dates to get comfortable with you and you with them. There is no rush to get to the finish line, and sometimes a person grows on you once you get to see them in a relaxed space.”

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How to Get More Right Swipes on Dating Apps, According to Science

13 Science-Backed Ways for Guys to Get More Right Swipes

A smooth opening line, your air of confidence or some gallant gestures are all things capable of grabbing a woman’s attention — in real life, that is. In the digital dating world, it’s all about your profile. Every single word and photo you use counts when it comes to making a good impression, and various studies have shown that certain profile strategies may inspire more right swipes.

RELATED: What a Genuinely Good Tinder Profile Looks Like

You want to present yourself in the best light possible, all while being your most authentic self. Exaggerating about your job or using a photo from years ago will get you … well, just about nowhere when your match eventually sees the real you.

Need some guidance? Fortunately, there’s a wealth of research on which dating app strategies are most effective. Consider these 13 science-backed tips while perfecting your profile, and watch as the matches come rolling in.


13 Foolproof Ways to Get More Right Swipes on Dating Apps


1. Include a Full-Length Photo

To no surprise, app users want to be able to scope out their potential dates from head to toe.

A 2019 survey conducted by Carphone Warehouse and dating expert James Preece asked 1,000 Brits about their biggest dating app turn-ons. The results? 86 percent of both men and women would like to see a full-length photo.That means even if the rest of your photos are zoomed in from the waist up, make it a point to include just one picture that shows your full physique.

Speaking of photos, make sure you have at least one. A whopping 93 percent of survey respondents said they would straight up ignore someone on an app if their profile was lacking images (for obvious reasons).

2. Skip the Emojis

You may want to think twice about using those emojis, too. Results from that previously mentioned survey had a whopping 80 percent saying they’d consider ‘em to be a turnoff. Wouldn’t you rather use that valuable space to write something that’s actually informative or insightful anyway? Save the emojis for after you’ve landed a match.

3. Flaunt Your Furry Friend

Unsurprisingly, pets can make your profile more that much more attractive. That doesn’t mean you should snap a picture with any random dog just to bait the ladies into swiping right, but if there’s a furry animal out there that has a special place in your heart, feature them on your profile.

According to the Carphone Warehouse survey, 77 percent of people think photos with pets make someone more attractive. Who knew things whiskers could be such phenomenal wingmen?

4. Add a Group Photo (But Not Too Many)

Capture a cool shot with your buddies on a fishing boat or hanging at a summer BBQ? Show it.

Hinge’s 2017 Profile Picture Report found that pictures of dating app users having fun with friends were 74 percent more likely to get a like. That said, going overboard with the group shots will only leave swipers questioning who you really are.

If they’re unclear of who you are amongst the group, that extra effort may leave them swiping to the left instead of giving you a shot.

5. Show Your Active Side

Part of a hockey league? Or maybe you just participated in a Spartan Race? Be sure to include a photo that demonstrates your active lifestyle. Data from Hinge’s 2017 Profile Picture Report showed that photos of users playing a sport or doing something athletic performed 75 percent better than the average, non-athletic photo. How’s that for some fitness inspiration?

Some extra incentive comes from a 2014 WIRED analysis of data from OkCupid and Match.com — surfing, yoga, skiing, hiking, and tennis were among the words and phrases most associated with popular profiles for men.

6. Pose With Your Mama

Next time you’re home for a holiday or some other occasion, you may want to snap a few photos with dear ‘ol mom. According to a 2018 study by The League, dating app users who have at least one photo with their mother experienced a 7 percent higher match rate than those who didn’t have one.

While some may take it as a sign of a momma’s boy, this kind of photo shows that family is important to you. After all, there’s nothing wrong with showing some appreciation for the lady who gave you life.

7. Ditch the Shades

Just as you shouldn’t wear sunglasses indoors, when choosing the best photos for your profile, skip the ones in which you’re wearing glasses. A 2016 study from Tinder revealed that users wearing glasses in a profile picture (both prescription and sunglasses) were 15 percent less likely to get a right swipe.

Shades and spectacles make it more difficult to see someone’s face, and isn’t that what you’re supposed to be showing it off on your profile?

8. Be Forthcoming About Kids

Having children may not be something you want plastered all over your dating profile. But if you’re worried they may scare off some prospective dates, consider this: One in three women who participated in Carphone Warehouse’s survey said they liked to see photos of matches with their children.

Besides, it’s always best to be honest about your situation from the get-go. If someone doesn’t like your kids, there’s no point in wasting your time or effort in getting to know them.

9. Get Candid

An easy way to stand out on a dating app is by having at least one or two candid photos in your profile. Hinge’s 2017 Profile Picture Report found that a whopping 80 percent of users’ profile pictures were posed, but get this: Candid photos were 15 percent more likely to get a like from other users. There’s something about a candid shot that’s inexplicably attractive because it looks more natural, and thus, shows off your true, filterless self.

10. Implement the 70-30 Rule

It’s easy to ramble on and on about yourself in your dating app profile. You’re trying to give potential matches as much information as possible before they make a decision which way to swipe, right? Well, according to Statistic Brain, the most popular online daters used about 70 percent of their profiles to talk about themselves, with the other 30 percent describing what they’re looking for in a prospective partner.

Consider following that formula in your own profile, and always look for opportunities to shed light on your dating intentions and priorities.

11. Don’t Be Afraid of That Four-Letter Word

If you’re looking to lock down something serious, then you might want to sneak “love” into your profile somewhere. Surprisingly, wearing your heart on your sleeve can be to your advantage.

After examining 1.2 million profiles, PlentyofFish discovered that people who used this word in their bios were the most successful at engaging in committed relationships. Men also appeared to benefit from words like “romantic” and “relationship,” too.

12. Highlight Your Travels

Whether from a bachelor weekend in Boston or backpacking around Switzerland, make sure to use a photo from that trip in your profile. A

2017 Hinge study found that travel photos receive 30 percent more likes than the average photo, and research from Match Group found that 74 percent of women want a partner who shares their travel interests. It makes sense, too, given that jet-setting can make a person appear worldly and adventurous.

Fun fact: According to Hinge’s data, for men, a photo in Munich garnered a whopping 210 percent more likes than the average photo, while a photo in Portland, Oregon, racked up 56 percent more likes.

13. Mind Your Grammar

Regardless of whether you’re looking for a casual hookup or a serious relationship, you may want to proofread your dating app bio.

A 2019 study published in the “Journal of Social and Personal Relationships” found that spelling and grammar errors such as writing ‘teh’ instead of ‘the,’ and using upper case letters in the wrong places, could be detrimental to your odds of getting more matches. Researchers believe this may be because such errors suggest laziness and lack of attention to detail.

It doesn’t take long to run your bio through spell check. Considering it could seriously boost your odds, it seems to be well worth the effort.

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How to Approach Sleeping Over at Her Place Like a Gentleman

The Best Way to Handle Staying the Night for the First Time

For one reason or another, dates tend to happen at night. 

While some people might try to have a daytime first date over coffee or a walk in the park, the dominant cultural script we have for dates (dinner, movie, bar) is one that begins some time after 5 p.m. and winds its way through the course of the evening. 

Meaning, if you’re having sex with your date, it’s probably late at night. And there’s a good chance that may lead to one person sleeping over after the hookup. 

Now, in some cases your date will be sleeping over at your place, but especially for men dating women, they’re often invited over to their date’s place rather than vice-versa. 

Why? Well, many women will feel more comfortable in their own home. Being alone with a man they don’t know very well yet can be a bit scary, and having the interaction play out on their turf is more likely to set them at ease. (Also, let’s be real, most single guys don’t have very appealing living situations.)

Regardless, that first sleepover — whether it’s happening the night of the first date, the first hookup, or later on — can make or break a fledgling romance. 

Out on the town and dressed nicely, people might be able to put up a bit of a façade, but in a more domestic setting, fresh from having sex, it’s easy to let your guard down and show the real you — and if that’s not someone your date is into, things could be over in a hurry. 

In order to help you pull off a relatively mistake-free first sleepover, here are some dos, don’ts and expert tips from a selection of dating coaches and psychologists. 

1. What to Do When Sleeping Over for the First Time

The most important thing to keep in mind when sleeping over with a date is that their experience matters, too — and how they feel about things could impact whether you ever see each other again or not. 

“It’s not just about you and what you’re hoping for,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.” “Your date will also have expectations, and they may not be compatible with yours. If you’re hoping for a relationship, what you do tonight (and after) can make or break the deal.”

To that end, Tessina suggests being generally kind and courteous. 

“Be amiable, but not overeager,” she says. If you’re dating a woman, you have to consider that she might not be used to having a man in her space. “Women are often feeling fragile on this first sleepover, so take it easy. Mind your manners.”

She also adds that if you’re invited over directly, rather than after going out together — such as being hosted for a romantic dinner, perhaps as a second or third date — that bringing flowers isn’t a bad idea. However, whether that’s the case will depend on your age — younger generations might be weirded out by such an overt display of traditional courtship. 

Meanwhile, Connell Barrett, the founder of Dating Transformation and a dating coach with The League, says you should try to take the sleepover seriously — even if the relationship isn’t yet. 

“The morning after, you want to make your date feel great about the decision they made — to take you into their bed, to be intimate,” he says. “While you’re not in a relationship yet, treat them like your partner, not a hook-up. Whisper sweet nothings, spoon, talk, tell them how great last night was.” 

However, the best way to get an idea of how to be the perfect houseguest? According to Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness, it’s not to make too many assumptions. 

“Ask, ask, ask,” Caraballo says. “Every person desires different things, so there is no one ‘right’ way to show someone that you’re a gentleman.”

“As a general rule, it’s nice to be polite and treat people with courtesy, but if it’s not genuine and coming from your heart, chances are your date can feel that,” he says. “Either they’ll dislike that and let you know or won’t consider your gentlemanly efforts important and just move on. The golden rule — ‘treat someone how you want to be treated’ — is a good place to start, and with periodically checking in for affirmative cues you can be sure that you’re on the path toward making a good impression.”

2. What Not to Do When Sleeping Over for the First Time

When it comes to things to avoid, there are also a handful of those to consider. For starters, it’s important not to treat the experience with a ‘been there, done that’ mentality, says Barrett. 

“A big mistake is treating it in a casual, transactional manner,” he notes. “Don’t bounce at the crack of down with no more than a curt ‘bye.’ That makes the other person feel used and means you likely won’t be spending a second night at their place.”

As for concrete specifics to consider, Tessina notes that creating a mess and having poor bathroom hygiene are big don’ts, particularly for a female date. 

“Be tidy in her place. Don’t leave your stuff all over,” she says. “If you use the bathroom or shower, make sure you leave it neat.”

Caraballo agrees that a guy’s use of a woman’s washroom can be a tricky hurdle to clear. 

“Don’t leave the toilet seat up,” he advises. 

As well, if your date has roommates or lives with family, it’s important to be conscious of that. 

“Ask how you should behave in accordance with their house rules (maybe don’t walk around to the bathroom in the middle of the night, etc.),” Caraballo suggests. 

Another good tip is to not be too demanding or over-assertive. You might be used to sleeping in a certain way, but in a new space, it’s a good idea to let your date set the tone in terms of how things function. 

Of course, you can make requests — think something like “Is it cool if we leave the fan on? I get overheated easily at night” — but being insistent or simply doing what you want may leave your host feeling uncomfortable or annoyed. 

As before, the guiding principle here is courtesy. Regardless of whether it’s a cramped apartment or a sprawling multi-story house, their home is their space and inviting you there is a bit of a gamble — so treat it (and them) with respect. 

3. Coming on Too Strong vs. Seeming Too Distant

One potential conundrum of sleeping over for the first time is that it can be a very intimate moment. 

Sleeping in the same bed with someone implies a certain amount of trust, and it’s something that we traditionally associate with married or long-term couples. However, if you’re just starting to date, you likely don’t know each other very well — and that can make for an awkward mismatch. 

If you lean into being romantic and affectionate, it might send the other person a signal that you’re very serious about them, even if you aren’t; alternately, if you intentionally put the brakes on things like post-coital cuddling and pillow talk, they might think you’re rude, distant or uninterested. 

The best way to deal with that uncertainty, according to Caraballo, is to be communicative, rather than overconfident about what your date is looking for. 

“I think the biggest mistakes guys (and really anyone) can make is making assumptions about what’s supposed to happen or not happen next,” he says. “While I know many people frown at the idea of being explicit in communication, it’s always helpful to check in with your partner to make sure that they’re feeling comfortable and that you know what their expectations are and if you can meet them.”

Barrett agrees that being open to communication is important — and notes that you should focus on ensuring your host doesn’t feel like you’re just using them for sex. 

“Be present to how your date’s feeling and don’t overdo this, but let them know that even though this is casual, it’s about more than sex. They want to know you like them for who they are.” 

4. How to Handle Leaving in the Morning

One of the most important aspects of a post-hookup sleepover is how it ends. 

Why? Well, that’s the last time you’ll see each other for a little while — it could be just a few hours or it could be weeks. Or, if things go badly, it could be for good. 

If your time together has been going well but you botch the ending, that could leave an unpleasant aftertaste in your host’s mouth, as it were, and change their perspective on how they feel things really went. But by the same token, if the hookup was only so-so, you can still potentially turn things around by nailing your departure. 

Tessina suggests planning for the morning after the night before — that way you have some kind of plan — rather than just deciding what to do when you wake up. 

“If you have to leave at a certain time, let your date know the night before,” she says. “Don’t just rush out.”

Barrett agrees that discussing the morning strategy before you fall asleep is a good move. 

“If you’re not sure you’ll want to lounge away the morning with your date, the night before, say that you’re meeting a friend in the morning,” he advises. “This way, if you both want to have a long, lazy sleep-in and spend more time together, you can always say you moved the appointment. And if you’d rather get going sooner, you can bounce without any bad feelings.”

That being said, if things are going well, Tessina suggests sticking around for anything your host offers, like coffee or breakfast, and potentially re-initiating some of last night’s physical affection, like kissing or hugging, and telling them you had a great time the night before — unless you didn’t.

“If it wasn’t wonderful for either of you, then say something like ‘I guess that didn’t go so well,’” she advises. 

Caraballo suggests taking what, if anything, you know about your date’s personality into consideration when you wake up the next morning and are wondering how to proceed. 

“This is highly subjective, and obviously pretty tricky territory,” he says. “If you haven’t talked about the morning plans before the sun rises, I think the best bet is to be honest in your exit.” 

What does that imply, exactly? 

“Do what feels right for you, and consider what feels like a reasonable and ethically compassionate exit, given the interaction,” Caraballo explains. “Does your date seem like someone who you appreciate a simple note left? What about a wake-up kiss? It all depends on the mood, but take the circumstances into consideration.”

One thing Barrett cautions against in particular is staying too long — a scenario which can make people too shy to ask you to leave or feel trapped in their own home, especially if they weren’t expecting you to be there initially.

“Don’t overstay your welcome,” he advises. “Your date might have things to do. Ask them first thing in the morning, ‘What’s your day looking like?’ They may have somewhere to be. If they don’t and you want to enjoy more time with them, suggest taking them out for brunch, coffee or doughnuts.”

Even if you don’t go out somewhere together, ending on a high note is a good idea, Barrett adds. 

“Leave your date feeling great,” he says. “If you want to see them again, tell them.”

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How to Have Dating Success No Matter What You Look Like

Here’s How Ugly Guys, Average Guys and Handsome Guys Can Find Love

From birth, women are told they need to be beautiful. They’re confronted by the message everywhere they look — fashion billboards, magazine covers, movies and music videos. 

The idea even worms its way into decidedly non-visual media, taking the form in books that describe female protagonists’ beauty, love songs that go on about how beautiful the singer’s lover is and the compliments people pay little girls.

RELATED: This Subtle Sexist Double-Standard Might Be Ruining Your Dating Chances

But even though that shallow view of women is undoubtedly not equally placed on young boys growing up, that doesn’t mean that men aren’t conscious of their looks at all. While it might be easier for a guy to dress sloppily or groom himself little if at all, many men internalize messages of how to look growing up, and come out of it feeling ugly. 

That feeling of inferiority, whether it’s about your looks or about anything else, can really hamper your ability to find romantic success. Not because of how you actually look, however, but because if you’re expecting other people to treat you badly, you’ll be starting every date and flirtatious conversation off on the wrong foot. 

But no matter what you look like, it’s possible to have dating success. The most charming average-looking guy will have way more success on the dating scene than a devastatingly handsome guy with a deeply unpleasant personality, and a so-called ugly guy who makes the people he’s with feel great will be much more attractive to lots of people than a decent-looking guy who treats everyone he dates like garbage. 

Don’t believe me? To prove it, we spoke to a dating coach and two psychologists about the relative unimportance of looks when it comes to dating success. 


It’s Time to Stop Overestimating the Importance of Looks


“Men put way too much importance on their looks, especially straight guys,” says Connell Barrett, a dating coach with The League and the founder of DatingTransformation.com. “We project our world view onto women. Men prioritize visual beauty, so we assume women do the same. But women are more attracted to behavior, confidence and intelligence. Good looks are a nice bonus to women, but a guy can [be ugly or handsome], as long as he makes his date feel good vibes. For most women, physical attractiveness doesn’t crack top 10.”

This focus on looks is rarely a case of men patting themselves on the back for being handsome. In fact, many men who could be considered traditionally handsome still view their looks as underwhelming or disappointing. 

“It’s not just average-looking men [worrying about their looks],” notes Barrett. “Many objectively handsome guys fight this fear because they don’t have six-pack abs or runway-model looks.”

All that anxiety doesn’t add up to much, according to Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness.

“I generally think that (straight) men overestimate the importance of looks with dating,” he says. “While there is no definition of success that’s objective, I do think that men could work on being more compassionate with themselves and focus on what they do bring to the table rather than what they think they are lacking. This will help them appear more confident and self-aware, and those are very attractive qualities.”

What to Focus on Instead of Your Looks

“There’s so much media focus on looks that we all get the impression that looks are most important,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.” 

Instead, she suggests men consider focusing more on their grooming habits. “While styles change, being clean and tidy is always attractive. There’s a grunge look being advertised now, but don’t be too gritty. Clean up your act, wear some acceptable clothing, and look your best.”

If you’re already well-groomed but you still feel like your looks put you at a disadvantage, there are tons of other things people look for in a male partner, regardless of their gender. 

“A man can do many things to become more attractive,” states Barrett. “He can develop his sense of humor because everyone loves to laugh. He can become a better, more present listener because everyone loves to be heard. He can communicate in a more expressive, less filtered way because a man who ‘tells it like it is’ is magnetic.”

Even outside of self-improvement, a simple mental switch can help you feel more confident. According to Barrett, a guy who’s struggling to feel handsome should “focus on and feature the traits that make him a great catch — the fact that he, say, speaks three languages or has a cool job or makes amazing guacamole.”


How to Have Dating Success No Matter What You Look Like


How to Have Dating Success If You’re Insecure About Your Looks

Step one to overcoming a feeling of ugliness in the dating game? Working on your confidence.

“Insecurity about looks is kryptonite for a guy’s dating success,” says Barrett. “If you’re out on a date and burdened by thoughts of ‘I’m not good looking,’ then you’re toast.”

How much fun would you have if you could tell your date was super insecure about their looks? Probably not much. Instead, try to re-frame what the focus is, highlighting what makes you attractive rather than what you feel makes you unattractive. 

“Play to your strengths,” he adds. “Tell great stories. Crack jokes. Be vulnerable. Find commonalities. Learn to flirt. Become a better man and showcase your real, vulnerable, always-improving self.”

Tessina argues that connection is the real place that attraction manifests itself, and connection can develop with no real regard to looks. 

“You’re at your most attractive when you’re a good listener, who clearly cares about what your date is saying,” she says. “Show interest. Don’t let nerves cause you to talk non-stop. Give them a lot of chances to tell you who they are and what they like.”

And even if you’re insecure about some aspect of your body you definitely can’t change, whether you’re too short or too tall, too heavy or too slight, you can put a new spin on how you come across with the right style and grooming choices. 

RELATED: What to Wear on a First Date, Revealed

“In dating, your looks don’t matter, but your look matters,” says Barrett. “You can’t change your face without a surgeon’s knife, but you can upgrade your style today. Buy shirts and pants that look fitter for your body, wear quality shoes, get a great haircut. Dressing sharp makes you feel more confident, and when you’re more confident, you’re more attractive.” 

If you’re not sure where to start, consider asking for help from someone whose fashion sense you respect, or by asking salespeople in clothing stores what they’d recommend. 

Regardless, if you’re willing to put in a little effort in that department, it can totally revolutionize your look (and your confidence) without much time or even money. 

How to Have Dating Success If You Feel Like You Look Average

Feeling like you’re average-looking can feel like a death sentence for your dating chances. 

But even if you don’t feel like your looks are holding you back, feeling stuck in the middle can sap you of your confidence in a heartbeat — particularly in a modern dating culture that can feel completely looks-obsessed at times. 

However, according to some anecdotal data, what really resonates in dating app photos isn’t your looks so much as how happy you look. 

“With Tinder and the apps, the attractiveness of your photos largely corresponds to the emotions you convey in the shots,” notes Barrett. “I’ve run countless tests on Photofeeler, and pictures that show a man smiling or laughing rate twice or even three times as attractive as the shots where the guys do a smoldering, [runway model]-type pose. To be more attractive on Tinder and get more matches, dress great, look into the lens and smile.”

Tessina, for her part, notes that average-looking guys can take their attractiveness up a notch by being strong conversationalists.

“Don’t sound average,” she advises. “Have some conversational topics that will interest a woman. Make sure she knows you care about who she is, not just how she looks.”

How to Have Dating Success If You’re Confident in Your Looks

Compared to all the less visually fortunate men out there, handsome guys might think they’ve got it made on the dating scene, but as noted above, looks aren’t the be-all and end-all of attraction. 

Barrett, for one, cautions handsome guys not to get so cocky about their looks alone to get them dates. 

“Think of it like this,” he says. “Jerry Seinfeld said that famous comedians get a ‘grace period’ at the start of a performance, but after a few minutes the audience says, ‘OK, time for you to deliver.’ In the same way, great-looking guys can’t rest on the laurels of their looks. They still have to connect, to flirt, to be interested, to be authentic, and be the best men they can be.”

Good looks might cause people to seek you out in greater numbers, particularly on looks-focused apps like Tinder, but love (and even good dates) is more than just a numbers game. 

If you’re handsome as hell but feel lonely all the time or struggle to get matches or good conversations on online dating sites and apps, trying to unhook your expectations and approach from your looks and focusing on what you can bring in terms of your personality and developing true connections will do you a world of good when it comes to your love life — just as it will for guys who feel like they’re ugly. 

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4 Dating Tips for Shy Guys and Introverts That Can Totally Change the Game

An Introvert’s Guide to Dating

With such an overwhelming number of apps and unfortunately real phenomenons like ghosting, zombieing and kittenfishing in existence, dating has become more stressful than satisfying. Add something like introversion to the mix and it can prove even more difficult. Sure, introverts can make phenomenal partners, but the excess stimuli in the outside world combined with the already anxiety-producing nature of dating can leave them feeling super drained.

“The inherent stress of being social puts pressure on the introvert because they feel the need to be ‘on’ during the date,” says Fran Greene, licensed clinical social worker and author of “The Secret Rules of Flirting.”

RELATED: Where (and How) to Meet Women Outside of Bars & Clubs

Dating requires you to be in tune with someone else’s needs and desires rather than focused inward. Not to mention, being open about sharing your own inner thoughts and feelings is essential — both of which can be difficult as an introvert.

“Dating can be particularly challenging if you struggle to talk about yourself and aren’t sure how to highlight your best qualities,” explains Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching. “It can feel super invasive to get asked questions you don’t normally share until much later.”

Luckily, you don’t have to dread dating just because you’re an introvert. Just heed the following tips to ensure smooth sailing from the get-go.


Dating Tips for Shy Guys and Introverts


1. Set a Time Limit for the Date

While extroverts get their energy by being around others, introverts re-energize themselves while being alone. That means that limiting your time on a date is crucial to prevent yourself from feeling depleted.

“Don’t plan a marathon date that is going to exhaust you,” says Greene.

As much as you may think having early evening drinks at a bar, heading to a restaurant for dinner and then going to see a show will impress someone, it’s very likely to take a lot out of you (which means you won’t exactly be the best version of yourself on the date).

Instead, choose one thing to do together. It’s better to give 100 percent of yourself and less of your time than to overextend yourself and end up feeling drained.

2. Go Beyond the Expected

Meeting up for drinks may be the norm nowadays, but it can put a lot of pressure on you to keep the conversation flowing. Without an activity or something else to focus on, you’re left with little material.

“Do something that keeps it fun and active so you don’t feel you have to be the entertainment,” says Martinez. “You want to try to keep things light until you’re feeling more comfortable. It’s about striking a balance between have surface-level conversations and ones that are more intimate and give insight into who you are.”

That’s not to say you can’t meet in your typical social setting, of course, but consider doing so on the third or fourth date. Until you’ve established a sense of security, you may want to consider going bowling, scoping out an exhibit or seeing some live music at a cozy venue — all of which provide plenty to talk about.

3. Choose Activities That Keep You in Your Comfort Zone

While you may enjoy taking the reins with planning dates, at some point or another, you may find yourself in a situation where your date takes the initiative. If that’s the case, always make sure to check in with yourself to gauge what feels do-able.

“Don’t try to impress your date by saying yes to something that is going to be uncomfortable for you,” says Greene. “It’s okay to be honest (to a degree) and tell your date you prefer quieter surroundings and that you do not thrive in crowds. You may have to compromise a bit, but you won’t waste your energy pretending to want to be at a music festival with 30,000 other people and then secretly wanting to escape instantaneously.”

The idea is to select environments and activities that make you feel as comfortable as possible so that you can enjoy the experience more, and so you’re more likely to engage than to withdraw.

According to Greene, a few ideal dates for an introvert include going to a movie or other performance during off-peak times, sticking with very small gatherings and parties and having coffee, drinks or dinner at places with a quiet, intimate vibe.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Bail

There may be times that you start to feel overwhelmed on a date. In those situations, you shouldn’t sacrifice your well-being just to avoid disappointing someone you don’t know very well. Similar to the first point about hinting that you’re on a clock, Martinez notes that the best way to avoid these scenarios is to set up a finite amount of time for the date from the get-go.

“Let them know that you have other plans or something to do after your date,” she explains. “If you’re enjoying yourself, you can always ‘change’ those plans later.”

While this handy little strategy is highly effective at the beginning of a relationship, you’ll eventually want to be honest with your date about feeling overwhelmed.

“Give them a chance to navigate this with you,” she adds.

And if your date can’t handle your introverted ways? Well, they’re simply not a good match. Greene adds that it’s always better to cut a date short than to let it drag on while you’re feeling tired or uncomfortable.

“If your date gets the feeling that you are trying to escape, your chances of another date are not likely,” she notes. “It’s always best to end a date on a high note.”

Dating as an introvert may have its challenges, but don’t forget that you have so much to offer any potential love interests. Introverts are known for being excellent listeners who are highly in touch with their emotions and needs, and who can cultivate super deep and meaningful relationships.

Keep all of that in mind while you’re navigating the dating world, and you’re sure to attract someone who not only accepts your introverted ways but sees them as a major perk.

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Being a Gentleman Will Help You on the Dating Scene

Here’s Why Being Chivalrous Is Always the Best Way to Act

The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. He’s been on more dates than you can shake a lengthy bar tab at, and he’s here to help the average guy step his dating game up a notch — or several.

The Question

Hi Dating Nerd,

A female friend tore me a new one recently because she says I’m a jerk to the girls I date. She listed off a bunch of things I’d done on dates with some of her friends or girls she knew (not paying for meals, not paying for cabs, talking too much apparently, openly asking if the girl wanted to hook up), and said I was behaving like a scumbag. This caught me by surprise — I feel like it’s no different from what every other guy out there is doing. Am I wrong? Is she right? Won’t I come off weird and loser-ish if I’m super nice and don’t assert myself? 

– Disappointed Danny

The Answer

Danny, Danny, Danny. 

This may sound crazy, but perhaps the single biggest favor you could pay your future self right now is to learn how to be a gentleman.

Gentlemanly values have been experiencing a slow and steady decline over the past several decades, if not centuries. Things like chivalry went from held in high esteem to OK at best to unnecessarily fallen to the wayside. If you were to give a random woman your arm to try and help her out of a car at this very moment, you’d be met with a significant amount of skepticism — to say nothing of throwing your coat over a puddle so she could walk through without getting wet. 

Today, it’s far more common for women to experience shabby treatment from men. Getting ghosted, getting roached, getting unwanted dick pics, short flings that disappear as soon as you develop any feelings for the other person — that’s the modern dating experience in a nutshell for a lot of people who date dudes. 

If you’re not interested in treating your matches well, that probably suits you just fine. Chances are you’re unlikely to be noticeably worse than the next guy, and most people will be so burnt out by previous bad treatment that they won’t be expecting much by the time you roll around. 

However, the paucity of good dating behavior in contemporary singles culture has a flip side, and if you’re willing to put in even a little bit of effort towards being gentlemanly, you stand out in a serious way. 

These days, you’re not competing against kings, princes, male models and rock stars. Your rivals are Kyle, who’s trying to get more Tinder matches than every other guy in his frat before Friday, and Jon, who knows more porn stars by name than actual women. 

Have you ever heard the old canard, “People won’t remember what you said, and they won’t remember what you did, but they’ll remember how you made them feel?” Well, that’s what being a gentleman is all about: making people feel good. 

Next time you’re on a date, suggest a time and place. Ask your date questions and make her feel like the star of a one-night, two-actor show. Pay for everything you both do, and appreciate your time together no matter what happens at the end.

In short, you’re going to be a gentleman. 

Why, you might ask? Well, in one shot, you’re doing a few different things. 

For starters, you’re elevating the level of dating behavior, even if microscopically, for the whole culture. We fix this environment where we’re all horrible to each other by putting ourselves on the line, acting with kindness and grace rather than with naked self-interest.

Secondly, you’re treating her right. You’re not treating her like an audience for your blathering, and you’re not treating her like a vending machine for sex. You’re treating her like a person. Whatever she thinks about your looks, your musculature or your car, I guarantee she’s more interested in how it feels to sit across from you. And if it feels good, she’s going to want more of it.

Thirdly, look, the date might not fall the way you want. When a first date sputters out, it’s not fun for either party. But here’s the thing — if you were a consummate gentleman from point A to point Z, that attitude will carry over to your future outings. 

If you treat your next date like trash and make her regret the day she ever agreed to meet up with you? Well, you’re only doing your part to worsen the dating culture for everyone. You’re absolutely destroying your chances, and you’re more or less guaranteeing that no one will want to give you so much as a second look. 

So take your pick. Being a douchebag might be easier — but don’t you think being a gentleman has a happier ending? You tell me, Danny. 

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How to Know If You’re in Love

Not Sure If You’re in Love or Not? Here’s How to Know for Sure

What does it mean to be in love with someone, when you really get down to it? 

You might picture stereotypical scenes from romantic movies or lyrics from songs about love, people claiming they can’t live without the other person or they think about the other person constantly, but there’s more to being in love than just experiencing romantic desire and passion for someone else. 

What Does ‘Being in Love’ Mean?

“Deep romantic feelings are only part of the picture,” says dating coach Connell Barrett. “You also have a strong need to contribute to that person’s life — to make them happy, to give them kindness and compassion, to help keep them safe. You also want to grow with them. In short, being in love is about needing to give to and grow with someone you have strong romantic feelings for.”

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today,” agrees that wanting to share your full lives is a big aspect of being in love with someone.

“Being in love means wanting to share life with a partner, wanting to make that partner happy, caring about your partner’s feelings and wants, and feeling good about being together,” she says. 

In short, being in love with someone is a combination of different feelings — a strong desire to see and spend time with someone, not just in one specific way but in many different ways, not just in the short term but in the long-term as well. 

Being in love with someone is about feeling that you’ve met your perfect match — someone who’s deeply right for you, someone you’ll care for no matter what. 

The Difference Between Loving Someone and Being ‘In Love’

Of course, you might be curious about what differentiates simply loving someone from being ‘in love’ with them — and that’s a fair question. Is “I love you” different from “I’m in love with you?” And if so, why do we say the first to people we love as well as to people we’re in love with?

Some people might not necessarily draw a distinct line between the two concepts, but generally speaking, people understand that you can love someone without being in love with them — that we reserve ‘in love’ for one person only, someone we love in a romantic and passionate way.

“We love all kinds of people: parents, children, dear friends, good buddies, beloved mentors,” says Tessina. “However, being in love means wanting to share all aspects of life with that partner: living together, making love, building a life for the two of you (and maybe a family) feeling especially close to one person, closer than anyone else you love.” 

Part of that dynamic, Tessina notes, is the idea that the two of you could conceivably turn your long-term relationship into spending your entire lives together. 

“Your parents and children will grow away from you as you or they grow up,” she notes. “Your friends may move, get married, or otherwise be unavailable. The person you’re in love with and you intend to be with each other always, and you’re willing to work to make sure the relationship grows and thrives.”

What drives that desire for it to just be the two of you? Barrett argues that it’s simple: passion. 

“When you’re in love, you’re fueled by a strong passion for that person,” he says. “It feels like being possessed. That’s what a great relationship is: love and passion. Without that desire, you’re like very close friends. You may love them, but you’re not in love.”

While that passion is primarily emotional, often it can take the form of physical (that is, sexual) passion. 

“You want to be intimate with someone you’re in love with; kiss them, cuddle them, and have sex with them,” says Engle. “As simple as this sounds, ‘love’ vs. ‘in love’ basically boils down to romance and, unless you’re on the asexual spectrum, sex.”

Signs That You’re in Love With Someone

So how do you recognize that you’re really, truly in love with someone? Of course, there’s no simple way to do this. It will feel slightly different for every person and every couple, and there’s no simple set of things you can check off to show you that you’re in love. 

RELATED: What Does True Love Feel Like? We Found Out

However, there are some signs that might be useful in determining if your feelings really do qualify as being in love. 

“If you can picture a future with your partner, and there’s no one else you can picture that future with, that’s probably love,” says Tessina. 

It may also present itself as a feeling of nervousness or giddiness, initially. 

“The old phrase ‘butterflies in your stomach’ to describe love is actually pretty accurate,” says SKYN Condoms’ Sex & Intimacy Expert, certified sex coach, sexologist and author Gigi Engle. “This is short-term anxiety that feels exciting — kind of like being on a roller coaster. When you first fall in love, your brain is flooded with dopamine and oxytocin, which feels amazing. This is what cultivates sexual and romantic attraction.”

“Another sign is when your mind is obsessively thinking about the person,” Engle says. “Obviously in some cases this can be unhealthy — such as, if this isn’t someone you’re actually dating or potentially dating — but, when we’re in love our minds are awash with feel-good chemicals. We’re looking for that next hit of the good stuff: oxytocin, or the ‘love hormone.’ This is why being in love feels so good, and why we can’t seem to get our minds off our partner.”

Barrett agrees that thinking about someone a lot is definitely part of the package. 

“It starts with a feeling of euphoria, being in a new, exciting world,” says Barrett, comparing the feeling to the point in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ when the movie goes from monochromatic to full color. “That person in your thoughts constantly, making you giddy just to think of them.”

“You’re very interested in the things that they like,” he adds. “You check your phone a lot to see if they’ve messaged you.” And likely, he notes, you’ll be spending a lot of time being physically affectionate — whether that’s sex or things like holding hands, kissing, hugging, or simply lounging in each other’s arms. 

However, lots of these factors can be present in the early stages of a relationship — truly being in love is when these feelings last long enough to start thinking of what your life together will be like. 

“You want to plan the future with them in the picture — the trips you’ll take, the dog you’ll get, the house you’ll buy,” Barrett says. 

Signs That You’re Not in Love With Someone

OK, so maybe the above signs weren’t totally conclusive for you. What about when you’re not in love? Are there any surefire signs of that to help you sort out your feelings? 

RELATED: The Top 10 Signs That You’re in Love, Revealed

For starters, Tessina suggests, imagine if you could never have sex again — or your sex life would all but dry up. Would that change how you felt about your partner in a drastic way or would you want to stick with them?  

“If your main interest in your partner is sex, that’s not the same as love,” she says.

For Barrett, sex is less of a factor. He thinks if you’re not in love with someone, you’ll forget about them completely as soon as they’re not around. 

“The biggest sign you’re not in love with someone is that they’re not on your mind when you’re not with them,” he says. “You may like them, enjoy them, have great sex with them. But if you’re not thinking about them often, you’re not in love.”

“Another big indicator? They back out of something you’ve planned to do together — and you’re relieved,” he says. “And if you don’t day-dream about the things you share with this person, then you’ve either lost that lovin’ feeling — or you never had it to begin with.”

“You can be dating someone, find them fun and cute, and still not be in love with them,” says Engle. “Maybe you are enjoying playing the field or aren’t in a place in your life to get serious with someone. That’s OK too.”

“Really, if you want to know if there’s a future, envision yourself in a long-term, monogamous (assuming you’re monogamous) relationship, and see how that makes you feel,” she advises. “Are you scared or anxious? If it doesn’t make you happy or excited, it’s probably not love.”

Tessina agrees. “If you feel neutral about the relationship, and not committed to it, you’re not in love. If you don’t make each other happy, that’s not love.”

How to Handle It If Only One of You Is in Love

What about situations where two people are dating but only one of them feels like they’re in love with the other? 

Is the relationship doomed to failure or can you make it work? Of course, there’s no guaranteed way of knowing, but some factors can make it more or less likely that you’ll be able to work things out. The first thing you should know is that you shouldn’t panic. 

“It really depends on the context of the situation,” says Engle, as to whether things are salvageable or not. “If your partner says they love you and you aren’t ‘there’ yet, that’s OK.”

“Not everyone falls in love at the same time, despite what the movies will tell you about fairytale romances,” she notes. “You might just need a little extra time to get to that place. As long as you see the potential for things getting to love, you’re doing alright.”

“You have to be open and communicative with your partner about this,” Engle advises. “Let them know that you see the relationship moving forward and that really excites you, but you just aren’t ready for ‘I love you’ yet. It will probably hurt their feelings, but you have to be honest with yourself about these things and not say something you don’t mean.” 

What about if you’re the person who’s in love, but your partner isn’t? That can be a trickier place to be from an emotional standpoint. Tessina advocates giving them some space to figure out how they really feel.

“The first thing to try is backing off a little, to see if the person is just taking you for granted because you’re making it too easy,” she says. “If the other person comes forward when you back off, then it might be possible to balance out the relationship. If not, the relationship may always be one-sided, and it’s probably better to let go and find someone else.” 

Barrett agrees that sometimes, a relationship where only one person is in love just won’t be workable in the long-term. 

“When only one person is in love, that’s often the death knell for a relationship,” he says. “You can have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation to find out what might be missing for the person who’s not in love. Maybe there’s something you can work on.”

“But it takes two to have a great, passionate, loving relationship,” he says. “If only one of you feels that way, and it doesn’t seem like the other person’s feelings will change, end it. Life is too short to live it without real love.” 

How to Talk About ‘Being in Love’ With Your Partner

If you’re not sure how to bring that heart-to-heart conversation up, that’s normal. Love is a big, intense feeling, and the fear that your emotions might not be reciprocated can cause even the bravest people to clam up. So first things first, don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling to open up about things. 

“There is a beauty to vulnerability when it comes to being open about falling in love,” says Engle. “The best thing you can do is go for it, if it’s what you really feel. If you want to be more cautious, starting with,

 ‘I think I could see myself falling in love with you’ 

is a good first toe in the water. This way you get to gauge out where your partner is emotionally and move from there.”

She advises that you keep the conversation small and real, however — rather than shooting to be romantic. 

RELATED: Why Grand Romantic Gestures Are Bad Ideas

“No grand public gestures,” Engle insists. “This will probably freak your partner out and could lead to an embarrassing situation for both of you. If you want to do something cute and romantic, send them roses after the ‘I love you’ has happened. You don’t want to put pressure on someone to say something they don’t mean.”

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How to Navigate Football Season When Your Partner Hates Sports

Does Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Share Your Love for Game Day Warrant a Breakup?

Stating that autumn is one of the most wonderful times of the year is hardly a controversial opinion. From the changing colors of the leaves and all things pumpkin spice to costume parties around every turn, it’s easy to see why people love when the calendar flips to September and October. Here in the U.S., of course, we have another time-honored tradition that makes the fall season that much more special: football.

RELATED: How to Break Up With Someone Nicely

Saturdays and Sundays in the fall are practically holy days in American households across the nation — and no, not the get-down-on-your-knees-and-pray kind of holy. By one count, 73 percent of men and 55 percent of women watch NFL games on television, while millions more attend the contests in person every season.

That means roughly two out of every three Americans tune in to the NFL each weekend. Those numbers mean that if you’re a guy interested in finding a football-loving partner, you have pretty solid odds. But what happens if you don’t? What happens if you meet your significant other during the offseason, but when it comes time for kickoff, they refuse to sit down and watch a game with you?

If the two of you have other things in common, there are ways to stay happy without every weekend inevitably leading to a standoff over how to spend your time.

First off, if you’re with someone who doesn’t like sports, just know there is a zero percent chance you’ll be able to watch every single game you want — unless your plan involves becoming single again, that is. If your desire is to press onward with this individual, that’s a fact you simply have to accept.

Second, there is no magic wand you can wave to make your significant other care as much about football as you do. If they haven’t grown to appreciate the sport by now, it’s unlikely that your repeated attempts to sit them down in front of the television on Sundays are going to uproot their deeply entrenched beliefs that the game is either boring, pointless or just too aggressive for their liking.

The road to bettering your relationship, or at least making sure it doesn’t go off the rails, during those precious four to five months that football graces the television starts with one word: moderation. While you may want to watch 20-plus hours of football on the weekend, doing so will result in no favors where your partner is concerned. In fact, that behavior is more likely to result in you spending the night cold and alone on the couch.

“The assumption today is that you will watch any football possible,” wrote “The Wall Street Journal” columnist Jason Gay in a thinkpiece published a few years ago. “Not only will you watch it, you need to watch it, because it is the highlight of your weekend and the fiber of your being, as essential to your happiness as sunlight and chicken fingers and maybe actually more than the sunlight. Your attention is not so much courted as it is expected.”

In reality, we know the world won’t end if we miss some of the big game to spend a bit of time with our significant other. Relationships always call for a little bit of sacrifice, and getting away from the television for a while is a healthy habit to get into. Plus, they created sports highlights for a reason, you know?

The second thing to focus on is gratitude. Maybe it sounds a little weird to say “thank you” to your partner for putting up with your football addiction, but if they’re sitting down to watch a game with you when it pains them to do so, you have to realize that they’re making a small sacrifice for you. Buckling in for a three-hour affair that they absolutely abhor is likely not the way they prefer to spend their time, so simply acknowledging their willingness to do will you do some good.

As for the way to truly seal the deal, ensuring football season doesn’t leave your relationship in shambles? Be extra conscientious of the things you’re doing with your partner while the game isn’t on. That’s when you need to be paying attention to your partner as much as you can — partly to show them that no, sports aren’t the only thing you care about, and partly to store up some brownie points when kickoff comes back around.

Take your significant other out for a midweek date, cook dinner together one night or watch a show or movie they enjoy. The more your partner feels valued and connected to you throughout the week, the better chance they’ll be more accepting of your football fanaticism on the weekend … even if they still have trouble getting into the game themselves.

Speaking of getting into the game, there are a couple things you can do to get your disinterested partner more involved on game day. Thomas Edwards Jr., founder of The Professional Wingman, says getting them in the mix during football season just takes a little bit of planning.

“If you’d really like for your significant other to be a part of the experience, you can incentivize them,”says Edwards. “For example, if you’re a guy who likes to watch sports with the boys, have your boys invite their girlfriends and that’ll make yours more excited to join you.”

Basically, you should make game day more of a social event. For some, that means the actual game is the main event, while for others, the excitement comes more from spending time with friends or loved ones, sharing a smorgasbord of game day treats with one another, and basking in the party-esque vibes of the day.

If you just can’t seem to get your partner on board whatsoever, or if it seems that your viewing preferences will never exactly align, Edwards notes that’s no reason to cause concern in regards to the future of your relationship.

“Your viewing preferences are no different than your hobbies or interests,” he says. “Sometimes, they are different from your partner’s, and that’s okay — especially when individualism and ‘me time’ in a relationship are needed.”

For this same reason, Edwards also thinks we don’t necessarily need to seek out partners that are as wild about football or other sports as we are.

“If you really want to have a partner who’s as obsessed as you, awesome,” he says. “If you’d rather keep your fanaticism to yourself and have your partner be wild about ‘Jane the Virgin,’ that’s fine, too.”

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Dating With an STI Can Be Difficult – These Sites Can Help


Best Dating Sites for People With Herpes

Positive Singles
MPwH
H-Mates

Dating can be hard in the first place, and approaching it with an STI certainly doesn't make it any easier. It’s one of those things you have to disclose despite there never really being a good time for it. In fact, the idea of breaking down your own walls and sharing something so sensitive, not to mention something that inevitably comes with a backstory, may make dating seem difficult or even impossible.

Even with endless knowledge at our fingertips, many still still lack widespread knowledge of STIs — specifically, herpes. For those who don’t understand the incurable but highly preventable herpes virus, the idea of dating someone with it may seem like an automatic no, when there’s actually a lot more to it than you were taught in your sex ed class.

RELATED: Worried You Might Have Caught Something? These Are the Best At-Home STD Tests

First of all, HSV (herpes simplex virus) is more common than you probably think. It’s estimated that about half of the population has HSV-1, or what is widely understood as oral herpes spread just from oral contact. Beyond that, about one out of every six people age 14 to 49 have HSV-2, the latter which usually falls into the ‘traditional’ category of an STD. This strain is more often spread by more intimate sexual activities.

More important than how many people have the virus is the lifestyle that comes along with it. Just because someone has herpes does not mean he or she cannot date, or that they are tarnished in some way. An STI can be spread during an individual's first sexual encounter or simply because a past partner was not honest about their condition. Despite the outdated stigma our society carries around, having herpes in no way signifies the infected individual is dirty or promiscuous.

Dating with herpes may require more communication, self-restraint and creative intimacy, but it’s far from impossible. If you have HSV-2, it's important to be honest and tell your partner about the virus at an appropriate time. It shouldn’t be the first sentence that comes out of your mouth, but it also shouldn’t be the last before you jump into bed when passion can overtake rational thinking. 

RELATED: If You're Worried About Catching Something, This New Invention Will Help

Luckily, the Internet breaks down some of the self and society-imposed barriers that come along with dating with herpes, providing a transparent medium to interact and get to know others without so much worry about ignorant judgment or responses. When you discover the world of online dating for people with herpes, you’ll find that the comfort and security of being behind a screen allows you to easily open up about your specific condition, and be upfront and blunt more effortlessly than you are likely to be face-to-face. The virus becomes less important and who you are as an individual —your personality, quirks, likes and dislikes — are elevated.

The sites below, catered to those with herpes, provide a communal feeling for its users. Just being on them may do wonders to increase your confidence in offline dating, too. More importantly, niche sites designed for people with herpes streamline the process of getting over the STD-talk road bump, allowing for fun, meaningful connections with others while remaining both safe and honest. When it comes down to it, if you have the virus, there’s really no reason not to explore such sites. Go ahead and save yourself some time in your dating life as you read on to discover the best dating sites for people with herpes.

Positive Singles

Debatably the most well-known dating site for people with STDs, Positive Singles has an impressive 1.5 million membership base and counting. The dating site may be so attractive to individuals because it focuses on matching you not just based on your medical condition, but based on other, more standard compatibility factors such as your interests, lifestyle preferences, and even star sign. Beyond the non-bias matching system, Positive Singles has a host of other features some casual hookup sites don't. 

Positive Singles provides both transparency and privacy, with highlights such as the ability to see who has viewed your profile, the option to browse anonymously, detailed privacy settings that allow you to hide your profile based on a specific set of rules you create, a setting to hide areas of your profile (including the type of STD you have), and even the option to require a special password to open the app on your mobile phone. It also goes above and beyond to provide an immersive online dating experience complete with a 15-question profile section listing your answers, as well as the answers you’d like your match to have. There are also profile verification options, a Tinder-style swiping section, and even free one-on-one dating advisors — which usually alone cost more than any standard dating site membership. While it doesn’t constantly remind you that you are on a niche dating site (in a good way), it does provide some helpful resources and support including a care location directory, Q&A section, forums, and more.

Learn more at Positive Singles and read our full review here

MPwH

MPwH, which stands for ‘Meet People With Herpes,’ claims to be the original dating site for people with the virus. The inviting site is available for members with all sorts of relationships statuses, including those who are married and in a committed relationship, but is restricted for people only with HSV-1 or HSV-2. Profiles list what type of the virus you have, but it’s only a small field amongst over 25 other profile fields, including multiple choice and open ended questions. There’s also a reassuring profile verification option, along with a handful of privacy settings you can customize to your liking.

The herpes-only dating site feels and works much more like a traditional dating site, and is filled with an abundance of features that allow your personality to dominate your online presence. Video introductions and private albums allow you to make your experience on the site truly unique. You can sign up for a free membership and use about half of the features on the site, or upgrade to a paid membership to unlock over 30 additional features. It's not a big issue if you don't pay, but if you want to really get detailed in your searching or see others’ interest in you, such as who liked your profile, the upgraded membership is worth the price tag.

Learn more at MPwH

H-Mates

H-Mates screenshot

H-Mates is dedicated to connecting people with STDs for anything from friendships to serious dating. The site has a rather detailed sign-up form that looks much like one from its founding date of 2004. It has all the features of a basic dating site and operates just like one. There isn’t a ton going on behind the scenes here, with H-Mates providing more of a supportive online community where real connections can be formed. The site is not solely dedicated to people with herpes, but there is a profile field that lets you select the types of members you are looking to meet based on the type of STD(s) they have.

The options for self expression are impressive here, with the ability to upload an unlimited number of profile pictures (and a video introduction). You can browse and search to discover others, but there are a few other matchmaking features available after answering various types of questionnaires. You also get all the typical online dating ways of interacting, and even some rather unique ones, such as sending virtual kisses. The niche site doesn’t have the most modern interface or advanced matching algorithm, but it is 100 percent free to use. Going along with the ‘supportive’ theme of the site, H-Mates does accept donations, giving you access to premium features. With no paid membership, it somewhat equals the playing field for all members.

Learn more at H-Mates

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The Top Dating Sites You Need to Try If You're LGBTQ+


Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites

OkCupid
Adam4Adam
Grindr
Scruff
GayFriendFinder
Chappy
Tinder
Growlr

When it comes to online dating, gay men have been fortunate enough to find a space where they’re able to communicate with their dating prospects without judgment from the outside world. Sure, there are public spaces where it can be possible to meet a potential match, but even the gay clubs of today are filled with women who don’t want to be hit on by straight men, and straight guys so comfortable with their sexuality that they don’t mind the go-go dancers. Meaning, gay dating sites have been a welcome innovation.

According to a study conducted by HuffPost on the online dating behavior of 4,000 gay men, over 49 percent of users are between the ages of 25-39. Basically, if you’re a millennial, this is one of the best options for connecting with another gay man in a completely casual way. Of all the men surveyed, 79 percent stated that after using an app, they found a lasting and fulfilling relationship (whether is was a friendship, romance or friends with benefits), while 21 percent said they did not find love, only lust. You can take away that from purely a numbers perspective, men seeking men (or women seeking women!) would benefit from having an online profile.

RELATED: What to Do When Your Friend Comes Out to You – A Gay Man's Perspective

But online dating, no matter what your sexual orientation, can be challenging. You have to wade through hundreds of filtered pictures of strangers. Then you have to make awkward small talk to see if you’ll even have common interests to talk about once you meet up … and after all that, there is still the coordinating of the first date. It can be exhausting to go through the process time after time in the hopes of finding someone who will make you want to delete your online dating profile forever.

So if you’re looking to meet a new friend (or find the perfect guy to bring home to meet mom), browse below to find a beginner’s guide to online dating as a gay man.

The Best Dating Apps for Men in the LGBTQ+ Community

OkCupid

 

Although not exclusive to gay men, OkCupid still remains one of the most used online dating websites owing to the fact it’s free and has some major name recognition. When it comes to asking your friends which online dating website they’re signed up for as a millennial, most will respond with OKCupid.

It allows you to fill out questions in order to find matches with similar minded people, and since it is not toted solely as a sex app- chances are you’ll more likely to find someone you’ll be happy to bring home to mom to. OkCupid skips being like all those other dating sites with a slew of extra features such as allowing you to swipe on potential matches (much like Tinder) as well as answer insightful questions about yourself such as “What are your favorite novels?”

Whether you’re a gay Christian looking for another gay date to discuss your faith with, or if you’re a bisexual dude looking to experiment with going out to coffee with another male, chances are the OkCupid is the place to find them. In addition, their mobile app allows you to take your online dating profile everywhere you go, making this one of the best free gay dating options available to you. It’s worth mentioning that OkCupid was the first dating app to let users choose their preferred gender pronouns, and also provides 22 gender and 13 sexual orientation options to choose from.

Price: Free (A-List packages range from $32.99 to $119.99)

Pros & Cons of OkCupid

Pros

No cost to browse and interact with people on the site

Simple and straightforward design is easy to use and isn’t distracting

Upgrading to the A-list is cheap and offers great features

Cons:

People aren’t taking it seriously as it’s free to register

Have to pay to get full functionality of the site

Not as much selection in smaller cities or towns

Check out OkCupid

Read our full OkCupid review

Adam4Adam

Adam4Adam screenshot

 

One of the more commonly known gay online dating sites, Adam4Adam is more straightforward with its users’ intentions than OkCupid. The site is primarily used to find sexual partners who match your sexual and physical interests. This is great news for anyone who wants to try out a sexual fantasy or experience they’ve yet to have since Adam4Adam has an extensive filter feature that allows you to sort through users by age, race, weight, sexual position, and relationship status.

Yes, Adam4Adam even takes into account that a lot of homosexual couples are more adventurous with their sex lives. You’re able to sort through gay couples who are seeking to bring in a third for either solely fun or for a gay polyamorous relationship.

Either way, this free site has stood the test of time since it was launched in 2005 because it simply works to connect gay men who are both looking for a sexual connection and the potential for it to turn into more than just a one-night-stand.

Price: Free (VIP Memberships range from $5.49 to $104.99)

Pros & Cons of Adam4Adam

Pros:

Full range of services for free

Easy to navigate

Offers users vast filtering options

Cons:

High volume of fake profiles

Interface

Security concerns

Check out Adam4Adam

Read our full Adam4Adam review

Grindr

Grindr screenshot

 

Perhaps the most widely used gay dating app, Grindr has become synonymous with gay online dating. The reason for this is simple: Grindr is a clean looking app that allows you to filter through your matches who are in your local area. Using GPS match generation, Grindr allows you to see how far away your potential dates/ hookups/ new friends are from you.

Grindr is free, however the premium feature (which begins at 14.99 a month) allows you to see unlimited men in your area and get more specific with your filter searches (for example, the free version of Grindr only allows you to filter your searches with 3 categories while Premium lets you filter through 8 categories of specification).

Grindr is also known for first introducing the “tribe” feature for gay men. You’re able to sort yourself into categories such as: Jock, Nerd, Discrete, Twink, Daddy, Rugged, Poz, Trans, and Otter. This allows you to connect not only with like-minded people, but allows people who are interested in your specific “tribe” to locate you. All of this makes Grindr a big step up from using your local classifieds.

Price: Free (Xtra memberships range from $22.99 to $92.99)

Pros & Cons of Grindr

Pros:

Quick registration

Popular app with large active user base

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Cons:

Free account has limited search capabilities

Lots of ads

Can only view small number of profiles in your area

Check out Grindr

Read our full Grindr review

Scruff

Scruff screenshot

 

Piggybacking off of Grindr, Scruff is another geolocation gay dating app that allows you to “unlock” photos of yourself and others in order to expedite the pesky “pics?” problem apps like Grindr face. Scruff also has employed the tribe feature on the app, but allows you to back search for people who are directly interested in the group of gay men you most identify with.

In addition, it allows users to check out which queer-focused events are going on in their area during the week and which Scruff users in your area have RSVP’d. This feature not only makes Scruff both a great dating and sex app, but it allows gay men to meet in safe spaces where they can connect in real life.

Of course, Scruff is primarily used for those looking to make a sexual connection, and the lack of requirement for a profile picture opens up users to fake profiles and catfish. But, despite these minor setbacks Scruff succeeds where most gay dating websites fail- it moves beyond the solitary matching scheme and offers users the chance to attend events together, and to discuss queer news with each other.

Even if finding a sex buddy isn’t on your mind, Scruff is ideal for finding someone in your area that checks all your boxes owing to their varied and nuanced ‘categories’ section and filter options. It fulfills the need for connection, friendship, sex, and, yes, community building, something usually missing from those other gay dating apps.

Price: Free (Scruff PRO memberships range from $11.99 to $99.99)

Pros & Cons of Scruff

Pros:

Quick registration

Popular app with large active user base

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Cons:

Free account has limited search capabilities

Can only view small number of profiles in your area

Check out Scruff

GayFriendFinder

GayFriendFinder screenshot

 

The gay dating website that doesn’t have a sexually charged name, GayFriendFinder sets the scene for gay men to connect beyond sexual hunger. The site is free to sign up and allows users a plethora of space and description to tell the world what they’re looking for in a partner. Other apps- such as Grindr and Scruff, limit how many characters are able to be in a user's’ bio, which can mean a less concrete chance of finding the ideal person for you.

Much like Scruff, GayFriendFinder allows users to coordinate meetups, such as gay board game night or even a night out with new friends. The website allows you to search for gay singles in your area— and even includes a feature that allows users to announce when they’re traveling and who else will be in the area during that time.

By giving gay men more to do on a dating application than to ask each other for nude pictures, GayFriendFinder allows you to find your next date, friends-with-benefits, and, yes, next best friend.

Price: Free

Pros & Cons of GayFriendFinder

Pros: 

Gives users option to find singles, couples and groups

Promotes community with forums and original blog content

Verified email profiles

Cons:

Extremely limited free profile

Lack of active members

Limited filtering options

Check out GayFriendFinder

Read our full GayFriendFinder review

Chappy

Chappy screenshot

Owned and operated by Bumble, Chappy proudly bills itself as “the space for gay connections.” The social connection app is on a mission to end stereotypes concerning gay men and dating, doing so through four unique connection opportunities: “All Dating”  (open to any type of connection), “Casual” (sex or FWB, basically), “Commitment” (looking for a relationship) and “Friends” (no pressure). Other than these connection filters, the app operates just as Bumble does, using the familiar swiping method to make matches. It’s nice to see a company that's finally catering to the gay community and not as an afterthought by offering a safe, judgement-free space. 

Price: Free

Pros & Cons of Chappy

Pros:

A Bumble-like app full of gay users

Easy to indicate what (and who) you’re looking for

More people seeking relationships

Cons:

Prompts can come across as excessive

No direct matching algorithm

Still new, not many users

Check out Chappy

Tinder

Tinder screenshot

Tinder may seem like a straight person’s app, but it has recently made great strides for LGBTQ+ inclusion. Launched around Pride 2019, Tinder introduced the features “Orientation” and “Travel Alert”. The former is rather straightforward: Orientation lets users select their sexual orientation, acknowledging that the feature will “continue to evolve and change, just like sexuality.”The latter, Travel Alert, could potentially be a lifesaver, protecting LGBTQ users when they enter any of the 70 countries that have laws criminalizing queer people.

Tinder will alert an LGBTQ user when they open the app in one of these countries so they can take extra caution and not unknowingly place themselves in danger. Once the alert is activated, users can choose to remain hidden or connect with new people. If they choose to stay visible, their sexual orientation or gender identity will not be displayed until they leave the area. While the Orientation feature is admittedly a little late to the party, Travel Alert is a new and important feature that deserves to be recognized. 

Price: Free (Tinder Plus purchases range from $1.39 to $27.99)

Pros & Cons of Tinder

Pros:

Quick registration matched with a user-friendly interface

Popular app with large active user base

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Cons:

No matching algorithm to narrow field for gay men

Limited bio prompts

Check out Tinder

Read our full Tinder review

Growlr

Growlr screenshot

Growlr is an app similar to Grindr and Scruff, but is more niche, marketed primarily for bears (the typically huskier, harrier variety of gay man). The app, like Grindr and Scruff, uses geolocation technology to source potential mates for whatever type of connection you’re seeking. Currently, Growlr hosts a fraction of users that the other popular gay dating apps do, but that’s to be expected when you’re marketing to a fraction of the gay community.

Since its recent acquisition, the company that purchased Growlr, The Meet Group (which also owns dating apps Lovoo, Tagged and Skout) plans to introduce live-streaming capabilities. The streaming is meant to be an entertainment component with the idea being that when users aren’t getting a lot of messages, there are livestreams put on by others that can provide entertainment. 

Price: Free (Growlr PRO Memberships range from $5.49 to $13.99)

Pros & Cons of Growlr

Pros:

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Users are active

Clean layout

Cons:

Limited “type” of men

No matching algorithm

Can only view small number of profiles in your area

Check out Growlr

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The Awkward-Proof Guide to Handling the Check on a First Date

How to Handle the Check on a First Date Without Making It Awkward

Nothing can disrupt the mood on a first date more than the bill being dropped on your table. Sure, the cocktails were killer with the conversation flowing freely, but just like that, the air shifts. It’s a stiff standoff as you and your date both awkwardly fumble for your wallets.

RELATED: 7 Things Women Expect on a First Date

Perhaps they reach for their card with no intention of actually paying, forcing you to repeatedly insist that you’d like to treat. Or perhaps you assumed you’d go dutch, but your date isn’t even attempting to contribute. There are lots of potential misunderstandings that can happen when the check comes, but luckily, it’s totally possible to avoid them altogether.

According to a recent survey of 300,000 single Americans, a whopping two-thirds (63 percent) of guys think that the man should pay on a first date. However, less than half of women (46 percent) agree. And while nearly one in five women prefers going dutch, less than one in 10 men are down to split the bill evenly. Sounds troublesome, right?

In reality, handling the check doesn’t have to be such a conundrum. The key is to go into the date with a specific intention, set that expectation ahead of time and stick to your guns. As for after the first date … well, then it gets a little more complicated — but we’ve got you covered. Below, we’ll go over how to handle the bill at every stage of your relationship.

How to Handle the Check on the First Date

According to etiquette and relationship expert April Masini, figuring out who should pay actually has nothing to do with gender. If you’re looking for a rule you can stick to that will simplify things, she’s got one.

“Whoever does the asking should do the paying,” she says. “In other words, if you ask someone out on a date, the polite thing to do is to treat them.”

Basically, if it was your idea to grab drinks or hit up that new restaurant, the gracious thing would be to cover the bill on your dime. That said, there’s still a chance that your date will try to contribute when the check comes. In order to minimize any potential awkwardness, Masini recommends being very clear about your invitation from the get-go.

For example, you might say “Let me buy you dinner,” or “Let me take you out, I’d love to treat you.” That way, your date can relax when the check comes as you’ve already made things clear ahead of time.

On the other hand, if you’re the one who was invited on the date and you feel uneasy about letting the other person pay, Masini suggests offering to cover the tab if/when you decide to go out again.

How to Handle the Check on the Third Date

Once you’ve gone out a few times, the dynamic may shift a bit. If one person initially paid the bill, the other person may decide to pick up some of the slack. But there are a few factors at play here: who did the inviting, like before, and who’s in a financial position to treat.

“If you both make similar amounts of money, then you can start alternating who pays for dates,” says Masini. “This should happen organically and casually. For instance, the person who has not been paying may pick up tickets to a concert and invite the other person. Or they may invite the other person for a home-cooked meal that they shop for and prepare.”

While some couples may opt to go dutch, Masini notes that it’s less romantic than switching off who pays the check.

“It doesn’t create a feeling of taking care of one another, which is a nice part of relationships,” she explains.

How to Handle the Check Once You’ve Started a Relationship

By the time you’re in a committed relationship, the status quo changes again. Very often, as that initial courting stage ends, both people in the relationship expect each other to pull their own weight. This is especially true once you move in together, blending your finances together as one.

“You both know more about how much you each make, save and spend,” says Masini, “and it’s easier to know who can afford to treat, and how you want to handle money as a couple. If you’re living together, you don’t just have dates to think about — you have to think about paying rent or mortgage and who pays what, who’s on title or on the lease and how you save and spend separately and together. By the time you’re living together, who pays for dates is a much smaller blip on the radar, and it’s dwarfed by who pays for groceries and how you’re saving for vacations and retirement together.”

Of course, income still comes into play when deciding who will foot the bill on dates. According to Masini, if there’s a significant difference in how much both partners are earning, the person who has the vastly higher income should pay for a larger portion of the dates as the relationship progresses. That being said, there are ways for the partner who earns less to contribute financially in their own way.

For example, if the higher earner picks up dinner on date night, the other partner can grab breakfast (or just coffee) the next morning. It’s important to note that it’s always better to openly discuss this kind of financial understanding than it is to make assumptions. While it may feel awkward to bring up who’s paying for what, it’s the only way to ensure you’re both on the same page, thus preventing the kind of misunderstandings that breed resentment or lead to conflict.

And any perceived awkwardness around the bill typically stems from your internal anxieties or beliefs.

“It’s often carried over from the way money was handled or taught growing up,” notes Masini. “If you expect to pay for a date because you invited someone out to dinner, then there’s no awkwardness. And if you expect to be treated to dinner because someone invited you, there is no awkwardness.”

Paying for a date is a very personal thing, and the status quo will vary from couple to couple, depending on their personalities, preferences, incomes, and other factors.

“In some cases, it’s more important to one person — regardless of whether they have more or less money than a partner — to do the paying because it makes them feel more capable and chivalrous,” adds Masini.

In other words, there is no perfect rule or formula for figuring out who should pay on a date. Generally, if you invite someone out, it’s a good idea to cover the costs — at least in the very beginning of the relationship. But when in doubt, talk it out. Once your relationship begins to progress, your dynamic will undoubtedly change, explaining why constant communication is key. The best part? Having these tough money talks early on will only make your relationship stronger (and will help keep from spoiling your dinner).

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How Dating and Relationships Have Evolved Over the Last 20 Years

Then & Now: 20 Years of Dating, Sites, Apps and Rules

Like with many different things in our lifetime, a span of 20 years is bound to bring some significant changes. And at no time does that feel truer than now, in this digital day and age when change feels so constant that it can be difficult to stick with at times.

RELATED: Best Online Dating Sites

For better and for worse, dating is one of those integral aspects of our lives that’s constantly touched by change, especially as the online side of things has made its way to the forefront over the last 15 years or so. But as things have changed, AskMen has been right here, helping you make it through every step of the way.

That’s why, as the site celebrates turning 20 years old this month, we wanted to take a look at just how far things have come since the late 1990s. The following is a snapshot of where we’ve been, as well as where we are now.

Meeting Someone, Then & Now

Then — You’ve got two solid options: get out there and be social, or have your friends set you up with someone they know. If you go the blind date route, you’re literally going in blind; there’s no way for you to check this person out beforehand, unless your buddy physically gives you a photo of them. Good luck!
Now — Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Facebook, Instagram, eHarmony, Match … the list goes on. Go ahead and slide into those DMs before someone beats you to it.

Then — Find out what you can from friends and friends of friends. Realize all of the information was wrong when you meet face-to-face.
Now — You are a social media sleuth. Check their Facebook (they do have one, right?), their Twitter, their Insta, their Pinterest or maybe even their LinkedIn. Just don’t accidentally like a photo from two years ago, or you’ll look like a major creep.

Getting in Touch With Potential Bae, Then & Now

Then — Sure, cell phones are around, but who even has one of those? You’re going to be calling a landline — you know, one of those stationary telephones with a spiral cord that loves to get tangled. Everyone except for the person you’re trying to reach will answer. You’ll have to leave a message with someone, but unfortunately, there’s no real guarantee that it will ever reach the ears it was meant to grace.
Now — You’re not a caveman … just text them. Use some emojis while you’re at it.

Then — Maybe you’ve added them to your contacts on AIM or MSN Messenger. Maybe you’ll get lucky and catch ‘em signed on to their dial-up, or maybe their little icon will tell you they’re away with a cheesy lyric-filled message. Either way, tread carefully: there’s always the possibility you’re getting trolled by their little brother.
Now — Get the Snapchat streak going because that’s how you know it’s real. Really, though, it’s easy: you hardly even have to have a conversation anymore. Just take an artsy selfie, scribble out most of your face, insert a self-deprecating yet playful message about how ugly you are, and send that baby on its merry way.

Becoming Your Best “Romantic” Self, Then & Now

Then — Stand in line at the local grocery store or pharmacy and pretend you aren’t looking at the glossy covers of women’s magazines that promise to teach you about “the hottest sex tricks you have to try.” Sneak a glance at some of the articles, mentally take a relationship quiz and then internally freak out after finding out you’ve been doing it all wrong.
Now — The articles have migrated online and multiplied a thousand fold, if not more. Travel to the darkest corners of the Internet. Find out anything and everything … just make sure you’re not looking at it on your work computer. They can track that.

Spending Time Together, Then & Now

Then — Plan cute dates frequently, whether that’s going out for ice cream, seeing a movie, or playing mini-golf. Hang out at the mall, because at this point, that’s still a thing. Picnics in the park are popular too, as is rollerblading or taking a long, leisurely hike (but actually).
Now — Does binge watching “Stranger Things” with your blackout curtains permanently closed count as a cute date?

Then — Stay up until an ungodly hour talking on the phone about life, your hopes and dreams, what you had for dinner, what you’re doing next weekend, regrets, your fears and your most embarrassing moments — any and all topics under the sun. Wake up the next morning, receiver still in hand, busy signal steadily thrumming in your ear.
Now — Fall asleep without responding to their goodnight text. Wake up the following morning to a scathing diatribe about your qualities, not only as a partner, but also as a human being. Alternatively, get hit with radio silence for the first half of the day. That’s dating for ya in 2019.

Then — Write each other cute messages on sticky notes, leaving them in places where they’re likely to be found. Author full-on love letters sharing or reinforcing your true feelings. Cobble together the perfect playlist filled with the likes of Savage Garden and Backstreet Boys, burn the songs onto a CD, create your own cover art and relish the look on their face when you give it to them.
Now — Text each other using incomplete sentences sprinkled with copious amounts of hearts winking kissy faces and eggplant emojis. How else would you get the message across. And by the way, what in the hell is a CD? Share a YouTube link to Lizzo’s latest banger.

Calling It Quits, Then & Now

Then — Man up and break it off in person, or stop answering the phone. Your call.
Now — Man up and break it off in person, or stop answering the phone. On top of that, you can now block their number, unfriend them on Facebook, unfollow them on Instagram, unmatch on Tinder, ignore their Snaps, or sign up to fly to Mars with Elon Musk.

In 2019, your choices are endless.

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Guess what sex postures a woman prefers depending on her personality…

guess-what-sex-postures-woman-prefers-depending-personality

Guess what sex postures a woman prefers depending on her personality…

Men this articles is not only for you but also for women! If you have your own favourite sex posture why not find out which type of woman suits you best depending on her personality?

Read below what Athens Escorts told us about sex postures a woman prefers depending on her personality.

Shy

Are you shy and you usually want to go unnoticed?

First tip:

Lower the lights, but do not switch them off completely. You can try the missionary posture because the guy gets the primes and you follow. If you feel uncomfortable with your body, the best thing you have to try at the beginning of the act is to make love under the covers. And remember that men are more focused on sex (Athens escort) and the eroticism that you transmit not to your imperfections.

Are you social?

Are you social, out of heart, are you the dominant woman? The best position attitude for you is to be above the man. Because you are above you make the most of the traffic and you have control of the situation.

If you are the type of a friendly woman…

If you are a friendly person, you will have better performances at stops that are warm and welcoming. Choose a place to be face to face with your partner and close to each other. Having sex with someone and wrapping around him is a friendly and welcoming attitude.

This is the type of the Girlfriend Experience Athens Escorts offer!

guess-what-sex-postures-woman-prefers-depending-personality

The Hard and Strong Woman

You may be harsh because you have a stressful life or are often moody. Oral sex is the key to this type of personality. Preliminaries are important because you will be better off and ready to do everything. An attitude of sex that the man has control, could work better.

The “Crazy

Try anal sex. It is a stand for energetic people. If you do not like anal sex, try the reverse cowboy, lie down and climb over it with your back turned to him.

Bonus:

Sit on a sofa or chair opposite a mirror so you can see yourself at the time of sex.

Read more about Athens Escorts:

 

 

Single But Too Busy To Mingle? Try These Dating Sites


Best Dating Sites for Professionals

Elite Singles
Match
The League
SeekingArrangement
Raya
The Inner Circle
Tinder
eHarmony
BeLinked
Whim
Coffee Meets Bagel
BlackCupid
Happn
Bumble

Are you interested in finding a long-term partner who works just as hard as you to form an adorable power couple? There’s an app for that. Do you have plenty of money, but not enough time to enter a relationship and would prefer a more casual connection? The internet has you covered in that area, too.

The question is: How should one navigate dating when time is limited? The answer requires sacrifice. “If dating is something you really want to commit to, then you need to prioritize and make time,” says Michelle Herzog, a relationship/sex therapist and owner of Center for Mindful Living in Chicago. “It's not likely that a romantic interest will suddenly appear while you are at your office 60+ hours a week.”

As a young professional's time is valuable, be clear on what kind of romantic relationship you have time for before starting the dating process. “If you are someone who regularly works more than 40 hours a week, travels often or has an unpredictable work schedule, then honesty with yourself and the people you are dating is critical to help manage expectations,” notes Herzog. “There are definitely ways to get creative while dating as a young professional, which includes joining local young professionals organizations, advisory boards or networking events specifically geared towards professionals in your age groups.” 

As a busy professional, it's also important to be up front about your time constraints. “If there is a particular person you are interested in, engage with them on a regular basis and being consistent in finding a time to meet for another date can be helpful steps towards prioritizing your romantic life,” she adds. “For most people, quality relationships determine quality of life, not how much time you spend at your office.” 

Because prioritizing work can lead to a skills deficit when it comes to dating and building healthy, adult relationships and we know that you’re busy, we've assembled a list of the best dating sites for professionals. Read on to get just what you’re looking for.

Dating Apps for Professionals

Elite Singles

As professionals, we respect a business that gets to the point. Elite Singles matches you with other successful people, and gives you more than a Facebook photo to base your opinion on, too. The high-end dating site collects information about profession and appearance, so you can be as selective with your dating game as you are during the hiring practice.

Try Out Elite Singles

Match

Match dating app logo over image of couple

Match.com is a household name. As a professional, you know that to become a household name, you have to be doing something right. When you’re looking for a relationship with another grown-up who is ready for a real relationships and real conversations, Match is the high-end dating site for you.. Rather than just swipes, the site asks for information that is both erotically and intelligently useful. If you know you’re looking for a toned brunette, those filters are available. Likewise, if you know you’d be better paired with someone who interested in marriage and children someday, you can search for that, too. Match.com essentially lets you search for your dream partner. While it’s free to look, it will cost you per month depending on what package you pick. Think of it as an investment. Plus, that monthly fee helps to weed out the flakes who would only waste your precious time.

Try Out Match

The League

The League dating app logo over image of couple
The League made headlines for its professionalism in the likes of Forbes for a reason. The dating app bills itself as the go-to high-end dating app for professionals with high standards. Rather than Facebook, it uses LinkedIn to verify work and education information provided. Not anyone can join The League; you have to apply. However, with application comes the promise that your matches are likely to be people that you’re actually compatible with. With the slogan “date intelligently,” their ads encourage you to keep Tinder for casual hookups, but use The League when you actually want to date someone.

You have to play by the rules to stay in The League. Members who don’t log in for two weeks will be kicked out. That also goes for “flaky” members who ignore messages, so get over your fear of commitment before you apply. For professionals looking to meet someone up to their standards, it is the way to go. You can rest assured that all potential mates have been screened and approved, so fear not about fakes or bots. The app makes it clear that the office is in mind, because every day at 5 P.M. (happy hour) their “concierge” sends you a batch of matches. If you “heart” one another, it’s on. Start chatting and meet up for in real life happy hour next time. 

Try Out The League

SeekingArrangement

SeekingArrangement dating app logo over image of couple
SeekingArrangement is undeniably controversial — we’re just going to lead with that. But as any businessman knows, if something is infamous, it’s because a lot of people are paying attention. SeekingArrangement connects sugar babies and sugar daddies. That means that usually beautiful, younger women, looking for a mentor to help with school or support their art, seek wealthy older gentlemen (and their wallets) for companionship.

We don’t judge and we’re not going to get high and mighty on you. Sometimes you want marriage; sometimes you want an arrangement. We praise Seeking Arrangements for its honesty. We respect that it can be hard out there for women to make it on their own. We also respect rich businessmen who would rather set up a casual arrangement when they want some company. And FYI, the website hosts sugar mommas, too. So if you’re a hot young guy looking for some support while you launch your own app, enjoy cougar hunting.

Try Out SeekingArrangement

Raya

Raya dating app logo over image of couple
Here’s the thing about Raya: It’s an application-based app “for people in creative industries.” (Read: celebrities) The waitlist is notorious; we know famous hot writers still stuck on the waiting list, so don’t let your ego get bruised if you don’t make the cut. However, if you are a professional in the creative industry, taking a shot and applying can’t hurt. You might end up sleeping with your celebrity crush.

Try Out Raya

The Inner Circle

The Inner Circle dating app logo over image of couple

The Inner Circle markets itself as “fine dating,” and they aren’t lying. Sure, like Raya, there is a waiting list that makes the app sound a bit pretentious but after swiping past dozens of disappointing potential Tinder matches, the selective screening process of the high-end dating app may be just the ticket for the serious person with precious social and literal currency. They vet potential users on age, photos, and social networks. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, so when it comes to dating, you’re allowed to be a bit pretentious.

Try Out The Inner Circle

Tinder

Tinder dating app logo over image of couple

Sure, everyone and their mother has Tinder, but that’s exactly why we’re here for it. Having Tinder is like owning good socks. Sure, it may not be the most special item of clothing in your wardrobe, but it’s pretty much a requirement. Along with hosting endless matches, we love Tinder for its easy location-based swiping. You may meet your future spouse, or you may meet a hottie for a one-night hotel stand while on a business trip. Tinder is a staple that everyone should have on their phones.

Try Out Tinder

eHarmony

eHarmony dating app logo over image of couple

eHarmony is a staple of dating websites. We use the word “websites” because it’s been around longer than apps even existed. While Tinder pretty much rely on photos and location. eHarmony digs deeper, asking about how many children you have, your religious beliefs, and how often you smoke and drink. This, paired with its success rate, inherently makes eHarmony a high-end dating site.

We dig eHarmony because while it’s more for people looking for long-term relationships rather than hookups, it has the same name recognition as apps like Tinder. That means more members, which means more matches for you. As a businessman, you understand that there’s power in numbers.

Try Out eHarmony

BeLinked

BeLinked dating app logo over image of couple
While it’s certainly happened, you may not feel totally comfortable sliding into the LinkedIn message center of the hottie who works for your company’s competition. However, you may enjoy the idea of meeting someone who shares your ambition. This is where BeLinked comes in. With a tagline of “Date like a professional,” the app connects you to other ambitious singles using LinkedIn information.

It even weeds out unemployed users, or those without jobs up to the app’s standards. BeLinked is for busy professionals who don’t just want to date or hook up, but that are interested in forming a power couple. While some hard workers are happy to use their gains to support a partner, others prefer those who work just as hard as them and have their own wealth. If that’s what you’re looking for, BeLinked is for you.

Try Out BeLinked

Whim

Whim dating app logo over image of couple
Whim tackles one of the biggest challenge of dating as a busy businessman: time. There’s a reason you have an assistant at work schedule meetings; you’re too busy attending them to tackle time management on your own. Whim acts as both your matchmaker and your personal assistant. You jot your schedule into the app, click the profiles of the people you want to meet, and Whim sets up the dates for you. All you have to do is show up.

Try Out Whim

More Dating Sites for Other Types of Professionals

Dating Site for Medical Professionals

Coffee Meets Bagel

Coffee meets bagel dating app logo over image of couple on date

Convenience is important for medical professionals as hours can be sporadic, long and unpredictable. It also means you have no time for duds. If you’re seeking something serious and substantial, Coffee Meets Bagel could lead you to your soulmate. Perhaps what’s most alluring about the app is it provides a limited number of matches each day, pairing you with only the most compatible profiles. The app also relies on mutual friends to pair you up, meaning prospective partners will not be complete strangers and may even give you something – or someone – to talk about. Like you, Coffee Meets Bagel values efficient dating because you’ve got no time to waste. 

Try Out Coffee Meets Bagel

Dating Site for Black Professionals

BlackCupid

Black Cupid dating site logo over image of couple

BlackCupid resides under the umbrella of the leading niche dating group, Cupid Media, which operates over 30 reputable dating sites. Like most sites in their portfolio, BlackCupid’s function is fairly basic, offering standard, gold and platinum memberships. The website asks users to list their occupation, making it a viable space for professionals to meet. While the dating site is rather rudimentary in its function, it is unique in that it offers a space where black singles can speak with other black singles. Best of all, BlackCupid offers a profile verification feature, so you can be assured there is no insidious behavior going on. 

Try Out BlackCupid

Exclusive Dating Site for Professionals

Happn

Happn dating app logo over image of couple

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Time is of the essence for busy and frantic professionals. That means convenience is important, and it’s why Happn may be the high-end dating app for you. Happn uses a unique geo-targeted system which matches users with people they’ve come into close contact with throughout the day. Considering most professional positions are stationed in large cities, matches in nearby office buildings or on bustling streets will be far more expansive than if you lived in a small town. Matches include the company and job title of each user, as well as any shared interests you two have, making for easy, breezy conversation. A suggestion: It’s also super easy to set up a casual drink after work at a nearby bar. 

Try Out Happn

Dating Site for Young Professionals

Bumble

Bumble dating app logo over image of couple

If you’re young and educated, Bumble is the app to use. According to stats, 72 percent of the dating app’s user base is under 35-years-old, and 91 percent of them have at least a Bachelor’s degree. The app is also great for those will little time to socialize because, as with work, there are deadlines to be met. Once a match is made, users only have a 24 hour window to make their first interaction, which in the case of this app, is all up to the female – an asset for those who fear the process of writing an inventive intro. 

Try Out Bumble

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Ask E. Jean – How to Cope When Your Ex Get’s Engaged


Dear E. Jean: Last year I met an adorable fellow at a bar. One thing led to another, and we ended up going home together that night. We saw each other off and on for several weeks, then he dumped me, saying I was too young for him. I’m 24. He’s 31. Six months later, he started dating a phony, obnoxious, downright dim-witted woman I work with. (We work in TV.) She was with me the night I met him! I had a hard time dealing with them being together, seeing as how he broke my heart, but I managed to function at work. Well, guess what, E. Jean? That bitch got engaged to him! Now it’s impossible for me to pretend that they don’t exist as she is wagging her ring all over. I’m inconsolable! How can a woman like that get engaged, and someone like me—smart, funny, friendly, cute—be single? It’s unfair! So unjust! How do I deal?—The Cast-off

Cast, my kumquat: Trust me, I’ve been there. You’ll never get over him until you stop hating her. Besides, the proper etiquette for picking up a random homie in a bar is for the young lady to make the event fun for everyone. So, how to “deal”:

1. Distance yourself. Step back, be the dragonfly on the wall when you interact with the woman—and observe yourself in the experience. Be “curious, not judgmental,” as old Walty Whitman says. You’ll feel instantly less wigged out.

2. Give her an engagement gift. This will make you see yourself—to elaborate on your female dog metaphor—as less the foam-flecked Hound of the Baskervilles and more the lovable Lassie.

3. While children are starving on this planet, you can loudly complain about “unjust,” but do it while you volunteer at a family homeless shelter. Check out the National Center on Family Homelessness (“For Every Child, a Chance”) at Familyhomelessness.org. You may meet someone here who’s “adorable” and not a total dickhead.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.



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Ask E. Jean: Why Hasn’t He Called?


Dear E. Jean: I’m a 28-year-old television news producer in Atlanta, and I met a guy (a creative director at an ad agency) two weeks ago in a bar. We had fantastic chemistry. After dancing half the night, we went back to my place. It all felt so good until he took his shirt off. I ran my hand over his back, and he was covered in large moles! I got seriously turned off, couldn’t touch him, couldn’t even look at him. I said we were moving “too fast” and asked him to put his shirt back on.

He stayed the night, so basically we made out. I have to admit I was not impressed with the way he kissed. In the morning, I just wanted him out of my bed. Frankly, I was desperate to get him out of my apartment. Okay, he was a lousy kisser and his moles got to me, but my question is: It’s been 13 days, so why haven’t I heard from him? What went wrong? I thought he liked me! Why hasn’t he called? —Crazy, Stupid Crush

Miss Crazy: Auntie Eeee will lose her faith in womankind if you’re sincerely asking why you haven’t “heard” from a chappy you couldn’t bear to “touch,” “look at,” kiss, or run your hand over. For future reference, if you want a man to call, tell him: “Don’t call me.” Men (and women—as you so perfectly prove) are more turned on by a challenge than by an invitation. For more tips about calling (and cocktail coaching), go to DatingEJean.com.

This letter is from the E. Jean archive.



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Sex and Zodiacs!

sex-and-zodiacs

Sex and Zodiacs!

How do signs of the zodiac have sex? Are they sensual? Is it spontaneous? What vices do they make out? What turns them away? An Athens escort can easily tell apart what sign of the zodiac is the partner she has!

Read below to find out all the answers:

Aries

The favourite phrase of Aries is “Fast to the Roast“. Aries’s temperament in sex does not differ from his real life – he likes it spontaneous adventurous and wild. Feelings are better to miss, otherwise Aries get… the down walk.

Nevertheless, he will give his best, perhaps more than needed.

Taurus

Unlike Aries, Taurus has other vices. He wants hugs, he wants atmosphere, he likes sensual situations. He will welcome his partner with candles, red wine and strawberries – whatever you see in TV.

If he falls into a partner who snorts sensuality and wants unpredictable sex (that is, Aries), he gets him down.

Gemini

Gemini, while he is old-fashioned and wants specific things in sex, likes to have a “basic recipe“. Occasionally, he wants sensuality, sometimes he also wants to get it. Sometimes he wants a little role play, and others wants to move from one room to another.

If you do not want to move around, do not stay undead or “starfish“. She does not have sex just to do.

Cancer

Most times Cancer is misunderstood, he’s too romantic and sweet to sex. The truth is that one of the reasons that he is unique is because to take out his vices he has to do it slowly – otherwise he will scare his partner.

If you want to push the Cancer, just look at yourself in bed.

Leo

He wants to have tremendous performance in sex. And it is not enough for him to feel himself performing well, he wants and his partner to agree to. He likes words in sex, especially when it comes to him and how delightful his sex is.

He will get back if he realizes that you are bored even for a while – he will not like it at all.

Virgo

As long as the hypothetical partner takes care of the body’s (and oral) hygiene, Virgo can become very “dirty” in bed. It is enough to get to know a little, so much that there is the necessary intimacy.

He will be in an unperturbed sensitive area or dirty sheets. He must have his head clean so that he is concentrated wherever he should.

Libra

Libra is another sensual sign. At the same time, he likes to experiment, in such a way that he learns his partner’s buttons: by mutual masturbation let’s say.

He will be even if he is hurt, even for fun. For example telling him about his belly, it probably will not have any positive results.

Scorpio

He will do his best to satisfy his partner – the Scorpio’s partner will be badly miserable. He is observant and knows how and when he should add a bit more passion. Especially enjoying anal sex, as it requires more lust.

It turns him off when he finds his girlfriends with someone who just make her happy. No, if you do not want sex, do not give him the favour.

Sagittarius

It is the definition of experimentation. To the extent that if his partner is not very open-minded, he may freak him a bit. He likes to play porn movies on screen as long as he does sex; not because he’s “making it” but because he likes to try out ideas.

If you want to force him, tell him “I love you” the first time you have sex.

Capricorn

Generally, Capricorn works with goals, sets them and achieves them. So that’s the sex for him. What is the purpose of sex? Have orgasm both. Therefore, he will learn everything about his partner’s tastes and will adapt accordingly. The next stop is his own, though.

If you do not want to stay away, do not criticize his or her tastes on the bed. Everybody bothers them, but Capricorn affects him a little bit more.

Aquarius

To irritate an Aquarius, you must stimulate his mind first. He likes cinematic sex – and we do not mean sex under the sheets combined with a French kiss. He’s looking for exaggeration. And if this exaggeration means sex on the balcony or bromoglossy at a loud intensity, the Aquarius is in.

You will be relieved if you want the same things all the time. Some people like it, not Aquarius.

Pisces

Pisces are supposed to like romance, and you are right. But he has another side, his wild side. For anyone looking for a partner who ‘sells’ a little the fairytale, but to do a wild bed, Pisces is the ideal one.

Pisces does not easily move away. However, if he does not like something, he tells you and you ignore it, better go home.

Every sign of the zodiac has its own characteristics… choose the one that suits you best in bed (Athens escorts) and enjoy the most.

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