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How to Approach Sleeping Over at Her Place Like a Gentleman

The Best Way to Handle Staying the Night for the First Time

For one reason or another, dates tend to happen at night. 

While some people might try to have a daytime first date over coffee or a walk in the park, the dominant cultural script we have for dates (dinner, movie, bar) is one that begins some time after 5 p.m. and winds its way through the course of the evening. 

Meaning, if you’re having sex with your date, it’s probably late at night. And there’s a good chance that may lead to one person sleeping over after the hookup. 

Now, in some cases your date will be sleeping over at your place, but especially for men dating women, they’re often invited over to their date’s place rather than vice-versa. 

Why? Well, many women will feel more comfortable in their own home. Being alone with a man they don’t know very well yet can be a bit scary, and having the interaction play out on their turf is more likely to set them at ease. (Also, let’s be real, most single guys don’t have very appealing living situations.)

Regardless, that first sleepover — whether it’s happening the night of the first date, the first hookup, or later on — can make or break a fledgling romance. 

Out on the town and dressed nicely, people might be able to put up a bit of a façade, but in a more domestic setting, fresh from having sex, it’s easy to let your guard down and show the real you — and if that’s not someone your date is into, things could be over in a hurry. 

In order to help you pull off a relatively mistake-free first sleepover, here are some dos, don’ts and expert tips from a selection of dating coaches and psychologists. 

1. What to Do When Sleeping Over for the First Time

The most important thing to keep in mind when sleeping over with a date is that their experience matters, too — and how they feel about things could impact whether you ever see each other again or not. 

“It’s not just about you and what you’re hoping for,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.” “Your date will also have expectations, and they may not be compatible with yours. If you’re hoping for a relationship, what you do tonight (and after) can make or break the deal.”

To that end, Tessina suggests being generally kind and courteous. 

“Be amiable, but not overeager,” she says. If you’re dating a woman, you have to consider that she might not be used to having a man in her space. “Women are often feeling fragile on this first sleepover, so take it easy. Mind your manners.”

She also adds that if you’re invited over directly, rather than after going out together — such as being hosted for a romantic dinner, perhaps as a second or third date — that bringing flowers isn’t a bad idea. However, whether that’s the case will depend on your age — younger generations might be weirded out by such an overt display of traditional courtship. 

Meanwhile, Connell Barrett, the founder of Dating Transformation and a dating coach with The League, says you should try to take the sleepover seriously — even if the relationship isn’t yet. 

“The morning after, you want to make your date feel great about the decision they made — to take you into their bed, to be intimate,” he says. “While you’re not in a relationship yet, treat them like your partner, not a hook-up. Whisper sweet nothings, spoon, talk, tell them how great last night was.” 

However, the best way to get an idea of how to be the perfect houseguest? According to Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness, it’s not to make too many assumptions. 

“Ask, ask, ask,” Caraballo says. “Every person desires different things, so there is no one ‘right’ way to show someone that you’re a gentleman.”

“As a general rule, it’s nice to be polite and treat people with courtesy, but if it’s not genuine and coming from your heart, chances are your date can feel that,” he says. “Either they’ll dislike that and let you know or won’t consider your gentlemanly efforts important and just move on. The golden rule — ‘treat someone how you want to be treated’ — is a good place to start, and with periodically checking in for affirmative cues you can be sure that you’re on the path toward making a good impression.”

2. What Not to Do When Sleeping Over for the First Time

When it comes to things to avoid, there are also a handful of those to consider. For starters, it’s important not to treat the experience with a ‘been there, done that’ mentality, says Barrett. 

“A big mistake is treating it in a casual, transactional manner,” he notes. “Don’t bounce at the crack of down with no more than a curt ‘bye.’ That makes the other person feel used and means you likely won’t be spending a second night at their place.”

As for concrete specifics to consider, Tessina notes that creating a mess and having poor bathroom hygiene are big don’ts, particularly for a female date. 

“Be tidy in her place. Don’t leave your stuff all over,” she says. “If you use the bathroom or shower, make sure you leave it neat.”

Caraballo agrees that a guy’s use of a woman’s washroom can be a tricky hurdle to clear. 

“Don’t leave the toilet seat up,” he advises. 

As well, if your date has roommates or lives with family, it’s important to be conscious of that. 

“Ask how you should behave in accordance with their house rules (maybe don’t walk around to the bathroom in the middle of the night, etc.),” Caraballo suggests. 

Another good tip is to not be too demanding or over-assertive. You might be used to sleeping in a certain way, but in a new space, it’s a good idea to let your date set the tone in terms of how things function. 

Of course, you can make requests — think something like “Is it cool if we leave the fan on? I get overheated easily at night” — but being insistent or simply doing what you want may leave your host feeling uncomfortable or annoyed. 

As before, the guiding principle here is courtesy. Regardless of whether it’s a cramped apartment or a sprawling multi-story house, their home is their space and inviting you there is a bit of a gamble — so treat it (and them) with respect. 

3. Coming on Too Strong vs. Seeming Too Distant

One potential conundrum of sleeping over for the first time is that it can be a very intimate moment. 

Sleeping in the same bed with someone implies a certain amount of trust, and it’s something that we traditionally associate with married or long-term couples. However, if you’re just starting to date, you likely don’t know each other very well — and that can make for an awkward mismatch. 

If you lean into being romantic and affectionate, it might send the other person a signal that you’re very serious about them, even if you aren’t; alternately, if you intentionally put the brakes on things like post-coital cuddling and pillow talk, they might think you’re rude, distant or uninterested. 

The best way to deal with that uncertainty, according to Caraballo, is to be communicative, rather than overconfident about what your date is looking for. 

“I think the biggest mistakes guys (and really anyone) can make is making assumptions about what’s supposed to happen or not happen next,” he says. “While I know many people frown at the idea of being explicit in communication, it’s always helpful to check in with your partner to make sure that they’re feeling comfortable and that you know what their expectations are and if you can meet them.”

Barrett agrees that being open to communication is important — and notes that you should focus on ensuring your host doesn’t feel like you’re just using them for sex. 

“Be present to how your date’s feeling and don’t overdo this, but let them know that even though this is casual, it’s about more than sex. They want to know you like them for who they are.” 

4. How to Handle Leaving in the Morning

One of the most important aspects of a post-hookup sleepover is how it ends. 

Why? Well, that’s the last time you’ll see each other for a little while — it could be just a few hours or it could be weeks. Or, if things go badly, it could be for good. 

If your time together has been going well but you botch the ending, that could leave an unpleasant aftertaste in your host’s mouth, as it were, and change their perspective on how they feel things really went. But by the same token, if the hookup was only so-so, you can still potentially turn things around by nailing your departure. 

Tessina suggests planning for the morning after the night before — that way you have some kind of plan — rather than just deciding what to do when you wake up. 

“If you have to leave at a certain time, let your date know the night before,” she says. “Don’t just rush out.”

Barrett agrees that discussing the morning strategy before you fall asleep is a good move. 

“If you’re not sure you’ll want to lounge away the morning with your date, the night before, say that you’re meeting a friend in the morning,” he advises. “This way, if you both want to have a long, lazy sleep-in and spend more time together, you can always say you moved the appointment. And if you’d rather get going sooner, you can bounce without any bad feelings.”

That being said, if things are going well, Tessina suggests sticking around for anything your host offers, like coffee or breakfast, and potentially re-initiating some of last night’s physical affection, like kissing or hugging, and telling them you had a great time the night before — unless you didn’t.

“If it wasn’t wonderful for either of you, then say something like ‘I guess that didn’t go so well,’” she advises. 

Caraballo suggests taking what, if anything, you know about your date’s personality into consideration when you wake up the next morning and are wondering how to proceed. 

“This is highly subjective, and obviously pretty tricky territory,” he says. “If you haven’t talked about the morning plans before the sun rises, I think the best bet is to be honest in your exit.” 

What does that imply, exactly? 

“Do what feels right for you, and consider what feels like a reasonable and ethically compassionate exit, given the interaction,” Caraballo explains. “Does your date seem like someone who you appreciate a simple note left? What about a wake-up kiss? It all depends on the mood, but take the circumstances into consideration.”

One thing Barrett cautions against in particular is staying too long — a scenario which can make people too shy to ask you to leave or feel trapped in their own home, especially if they weren’t expecting you to be there initially.

“Don’t overstay your welcome,” he advises. “Your date might have things to do. Ask them first thing in the morning, ‘What’s your day looking like?’ They may have somewhere to be. If they don’t and you want to enjoy more time with them, suggest taking them out for brunch, coffee or doughnuts.”

Even if you don’t go out somewhere together, ending on a high note is a good idea, Barrett adds. 

“Leave your date feeling great,” he says. “If you want to see them again, tell them.”

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How to Have Dating Success No Matter What You Look Like

Here’s How Ugly Guys, Average Guys and Handsome Guys Can Find Love

From birth, women are told they need to be beautiful. They’re confronted by the message everywhere they look — fashion billboards, magazine covers, movies and music videos. 

The idea even worms its way into decidedly non-visual media, taking the form in books that describe female protagonists’ beauty, love songs that go on about how beautiful the singer’s lover is and the compliments people pay little girls.

RELATED: This Subtle Sexist Double-Standard Might Be Ruining Your Dating Chances

But even though that shallow view of women is undoubtedly not equally placed on young boys growing up, that doesn’t mean that men aren’t conscious of their looks at all. While it might be easier for a guy to dress sloppily or groom himself little if at all, many men internalize messages of how to look growing up, and come out of it feeling ugly. 

That feeling of inferiority, whether it’s about your looks or about anything else, can really hamper your ability to find romantic success. Not because of how you actually look, however, but because if you’re expecting other people to treat you badly, you’ll be starting every date and flirtatious conversation off on the wrong foot. 

But no matter what you look like, it’s possible to have dating success. The most charming average-looking guy will have way more success on the dating scene than a devastatingly handsome guy with a deeply unpleasant personality, and a so-called ugly guy who makes the people he’s with feel great will be much more attractive to lots of people than a decent-looking guy who treats everyone he dates like garbage. 

Don’t believe me? To prove it, we spoke to a dating coach and two psychologists about the relative unimportance of looks when it comes to dating success. 


It’s Time to Stop Overestimating the Importance of Looks


“Men put way too much importance on their looks, especially straight guys,” says Connell Barrett, a dating coach with The League and the founder of DatingTransformation.com. “We project our world view onto women. Men prioritize visual beauty, so we assume women do the same. But women are more attracted to behavior, confidence and intelligence. Good looks are a nice bonus to women, but a guy can [be ugly or handsome], as long as he makes his date feel good vibes. For most women, physical attractiveness doesn’t crack top 10.”

This focus on looks is rarely a case of men patting themselves on the back for being handsome. In fact, many men who could be considered traditionally handsome still view their looks as underwhelming or disappointing. 

“It’s not just average-looking men [worrying about their looks],” notes Barrett. “Many objectively handsome guys fight this fear because they don’t have six-pack abs or runway-model looks.”

All that anxiety doesn’t add up to much, according to Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness.

“I generally think that (straight) men overestimate the importance of looks with dating,” he says. “While there is no definition of success that’s objective, I do think that men could work on being more compassionate with themselves and focus on what they do bring to the table rather than what they think they are lacking. This will help them appear more confident and self-aware, and those are very attractive qualities.”

What to Focus on Instead of Your Looks

“There’s so much media focus on looks that we all get the impression that looks are most important,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.” 

Instead, she suggests men consider focusing more on their grooming habits. “While styles change, being clean and tidy is always attractive. There’s a grunge look being advertised now, but don’t be too gritty. Clean up your act, wear some acceptable clothing, and look your best.”

If you’re already well-groomed but you still feel like your looks put you at a disadvantage, there are tons of other things people look for in a male partner, regardless of their gender. 

“A man can do many things to become more attractive,” states Barrett. “He can develop his sense of humor because everyone loves to laugh. He can become a better, more present listener because everyone loves to be heard. He can communicate in a more expressive, less filtered way because a man who ‘tells it like it is’ is magnetic.”

Even outside of self-improvement, a simple mental switch can help you feel more confident. According to Barrett, a guy who’s struggling to feel handsome should “focus on and feature the traits that make him a great catch — the fact that he, say, speaks three languages or has a cool job or makes amazing guacamole.”


How to Have Dating Success No Matter What You Look Like


How to Have Dating Success If You’re Insecure About Your Looks

Step one to overcoming a feeling of ugliness in the dating game? Working on your confidence.

“Insecurity about looks is kryptonite for a guy’s dating success,” says Barrett. “If you’re out on a date and burdened by thoughts of ‘I’m not good looking,’ then you’re toast.”

How much fun would you have if you could tell your date was super insecure about their looks? Probably not much. Instead, try to re-frame what the focus is, highlighting what makes you attractive rather than what you feel makes you unattractive. 

“Play to your strengths,” he adds. “Tell great stories. Crack jokes. Be vulnerable. Find commonalities. Learn to flirt. Become a better man and showcase your real, vulnerable, always-improving self.”

Tessina argues that connection is the real place that attraction manifests itself, and connection can develop with no real regard to looks. 

“You’re at your most attractive when you’re a good listener, who clearly cares about what your date is saying,” she says. “Show interest. Don’t let nerves cause you to talk non-stop. Give them a lot of chances to tell you who they are and what they like.”

And even if you’re insecure about some aspect of your body you definitely can’t change, whether you’re too short or too tall, too heavy or too slight, you can put a new spin on how you come across with the right style and grooming choices. 

RELATED: What to Wear on a First Date, Revealed

“In dating, your looks don’t matter, but your look matters,” says Barrett. “You can’t change your face without a surgeon’s knife, but you can upgrade your style today. Buy shirts and pants that look fitter for your body, wear quality shoes, get a great haircut. Dressing sharp makes you feel more confident, and when you’re more confident, you’re more attractive.” 

If you’re not sure where to start, consider asking for help from someone whose fashion sense you respect, or by asking salespeople in clothing stores what they’d recommend. 

Regardless, if you’re willing to put in a little effort in that department, it can totally revolutionize your look (and your confidence) without much time or even money. 

How to Have Dating Success If You Feel Like You Look Average

Feeling like you’re average-looking can feel like a death sentence for your dating chances. 

But even if you don’t feel like your looks are holding you back, feeling stuck in the middle can sap you of your confidence in a heartbeat — particularly in a modern dating culture that can feel completely looks-obsessed at times. 

However, according to some anecdotal data, what really resonates in dating app photos isn’t your looks so much as how happy you look. 

“With Tinder and the apps, the attractiveness of your photos largely corresponds to the emotions you convey in the shots,” notes Barrett. “I’ve run countless tests on Photofeeler, and pictures that show a man smiling or laughing rate twice or even three times as attractive as the shots where the guys do a smoldering, [runway model]-type pose. To be more attractive on Tinder and get more matches, dress great, look into the lens and smile.”

Tessina, for her part, notes that average-looking guys can take their attractiveness up a notch by being strong conversationalists.

“Don’t sound average,” she advises. “Have some conversational topics that will interest a woman. Make sure she knows you care about who she is, not just how she looks.”

How to Have Dating Success If You’re Confident in Your Looks

Compared to all the less visually fortunate men out there, handsome guys might think they’ve got it made on the dating scene, but as noted above, looks aren’t the be-all and end-all of attraction. 

Barrett, for one, cautions handsome guys not to get so cocky about their looks alone to get them dates. 

“Think of it like this,” he says. “Jerry Seinfeld said that famous comedians get a ‘grace period’ at the start of a performance, but after a few minutes the audience says, ‘OK, time for you to deliver.’ In the same way, great-looking guys can’t rest on the laurels of their looks. They still have to connect, to flirt, to be interested, to be authentic, and be the best men they can be.”

Good looks might cause people to seek you out in greater numbers, particularly on looks-focused apps like Tinder, but love (and even good dates) is more than just a numbers game. 

If you’re handsome as hell but feel lonely all the time or struggle to get matches or good conversations on online dating sites and apps, trying to unhook your expectations and approach from your looks and focusing on what you can bring in terms of your personality and developing true connections will do you a world of good when it comes to your love life — just as it will for guys who feel like they’re ugly. 

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4 Dating Tips for Shy Guys and Introverts That Can Totally Change the Game

An Introvert’s Guide to Dating

With such an overwhelming number of apps and unfortunately real phenomenons like ghosting, zombieing and kittenfishing in existence, dating has become more stressful than satisfying. Add something like introversion to the mix and it can prove even more difficult. Sure, introverts can make phenomenal partners, but the excess stimuli in the outside world combined with the already anxiety-producing nature of dating can leave them feeling super drained.

“The inherent stress of being social puts pressure on the introvert because they feel the need to be ‘on’ during the date,” says Fran Greene, licensed clinical social worker and author of “The Secret Rules of Flirting.”

RELATED: Where (and How) to Meet Women Outside of Bars & Clubs

Dating requires you to be in tune with someone else’s needs and desires rather than focused inward. Not to mention, being open about sharing your own inner thoughts and feelings is essential — both of which can be difficult as an introvert.

“Dating can be particularly challenging if you struggle to talk about yourself and aren’t sure how to highlight your best qualities,” explains Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching. “It can feel super invasive to get asked questions you don’t normally share until much later.”

Luckily, you don’t have to dread dating just because you’re an introvert. Just heed the following tips to ensure smooth sailing from the get-go.


Dating Tips for Shy Guys and Introverts


1. Set a Time Limit for the Date

While extroverts get their energy by being around others, introverts re-energize themselves while being alone. That means that limiting your time on a date is crucial to prevent yourself from feeling depleted.

“Don’t plan a marathon date that is going to exhaust you,” says Greene.

As much as you may think having early evening drinks at a bar, heading to a restaurant for dinner and then going to see a show will impress someone, it’s very likely to take a lot out of you (which means you won’t exactly be the best version of yourself on the date).

Instead, choose one thing to do together. It’s better to give 100 percent of yourself and less of your time than to overextend yourself and end up feeling drained.

2. Go Beyond the Expected

Meeting up for drinks may be the norm nowadays, but it can put a lot of pressure on you to keep the conversation flowing. Without an activity or something else to focus on, you’re left with little material.

“Do something that keeps it fun and active so you don’t feel you have to be the entertainment,” says Martinez. “You want to try to keep things light until you’re feeling more comfortable. It’s about striking a balance between have surface-level conversations and ones that are more intimate and give insight into who you are.”

That’s not to say you can’t meet in your typical social setting, of course, but consider doing so on the third or fourth date. Until you’ve established a sense of security, you may want to consider going bowling, scoping out an exhibit or seeing some live music at a cozy venue — all of which provide plenty to talk about.

3. Choose Activities That Keep You in Your Comfort Zone

While you may enjoy taking the reins with planning dates, at some point or another, you may find yourself in a situation where your date takes the initiative. If that’s the case, always make sure to check in with yourself to gauge what feels do-able.

“Don’t try to impress your date by saying yes to something that is going to be uncomfortable for you,” says Greene. “It’s okay to be honest (to a degree) and tell your date you prefer quieter surroundings and that you do not thrive in crowds. You may have to compromise a bit, but you won’t waste your energy pretending to want to be at a music festival with 30,000 other people and then secretly wanting to escape instantaneously.”

The idea is to select environments and activities that make you feel as comfortable as possible so that you can enjoy the experience more, and so you’re more likely to engage than to withdraw.

According to Greene, a few ideal dates for an introvert include going to a movie or other performance during off-peak times, sticking with very small gatherings and parties and having coffee, drinks or dinner at places with a quiet, intimate vibe.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Bail

There may be times that you start to feel overwhelmed on a date. In those situations, you shouldn’t sacrifice your well-being just to avoid disappointing someone you don’t know very well. Similar to the first point about hinting that you’re on a clock, Martinez notes that the best way to avoid these scenarios is to set up a finite amount of time for the date from the get-go.

“Let them know that you have other plans or something to do after your date,” she explains. “If you’re enjoying yourself, you can always ‘change’ those plans later.”

While this handy little strategy is highly effective at the beginning of a relationship, you’ll eventually want to be honest with your date about feeling overwhelmed.

“Give them a chance to navigate this with you,” she adds.

And if your date can’t handle your introverted ways? Well, they’re simply not a good match. Greene adds that it’s always better to cut a date short than to let it drag on while you’re feeling tired or uncomfortable.

“If your date gets the feeling that you are trying to escape, your chances of another date are not likely,” she notes. “It’s always best to end a date on a high note.”

Dating as an introvert may have its challenges, but don’t forget that you have so much to offer any potential love interests. Introverts are known for being excellent listeners who are highly in touch with their emotions and needs, and who can cultivate super deep and meaningful relationships.

Keep all of that in mind while you’re navigating the dating world, and you’re sure to attract someone who not only accepts your introverted ways but sees them as a major perk.

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Being a Gentleman Will Help You on the Dating Scene

Here’s Why Being Chivalrous Is Always the Best Way to Act

The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. He’s been on more dates than you can shake a lengthy bar tab at, and he’s here to help the average guy step his dating game up a notch — or several.

The Question

Hi Dating Nerd,

A female friend tore me a new one recently because she says I’m a jerk to the girls I date. She listed off a bunch of things I’d done on dates with some of her friends or girls she knew (not paying for meals, not paying for cabs, talking too much apparently, openly asking if the girl wanted to hook up), and said I was behaving like a scumbag. This caught me by surprise — I feel like it’s no different from what every other guy out there is doing. Am I wrong? Is she right? Won’t I come off weird and loser-ish if I’m super nice and don’t assert myself? 

– Disappointed Danny

The Answer

Danny, Danny, Danny. 

This may sound crazy, but perhaps the single biggest favor you could pay your future self right now is to learn how to be a gentleman.

Gentlemanly values have been experiencing a slow and steady decline over the past several decades, if not centuries. Things like chivalry went from held in high esteem to OK at best to unnecessarily fallen to the wayside. If you were to give a random woman your arm to try and help her out of a car at this very moment, you’d be met with a significant amount of skepticism — to say nothing of throwing your coat over a puddle so she could walk through without getting wet. 

Today, it’s far more common for women to experience shabby treatment from men. Getting ghosted, getting roached, getting unwanted dick pics, short flings that disappear as soon as you develop any feelings for the other person — that’s the modern dating experience in a nutshell for a lot of people who date dudes. 

If you’re not interested in treating your matches well, that probably suits you just fine. Chances are you’re unlikely to be noticeably worse than the next guy, and most people will be so burnt out by previous bad treatment that they won’t be expecting much by the time you roll around. 

However, the paucity of good dating behavior in contemporary singles culture has a flip side, and if you’re willing to put in even a little bit of effort towards being gentlemanly, you stand out in a serious way. 

These days, you’re not competing against kings, princes, male models and rock stars. Your rivals are Kyle, who’s trying to get more Tinder matches than every other guy in his frat before Friday, and Jon, who knows more porn stars by name than actual women. 

Have you ever heard the old canard, “People won’t remember what you said, and they won’t remember what you did, but they’ll remember how you made them feel?” Well, that’s what being a gentleman is all about: making people feel good. 

Next time you’re on a date, suggest a time and place. Ask your date questions and make her feel like the star of a one-night, two-actor show. Pay for everything you both do, and appreciate your time together no matter what happens at the end.

In short, you’re going to be a gentleman. 

Why, you might ask? Well, in one shot, you’re doing a few different things. 

For starters, you’re elevating the level of dating behavior, even if microscopically, for the whole culture. We fix this environment where we’re all horrible to each other by putting ourselves on the line, acting with kindness and grace rather than with naked self-interest.

Secondly, you’re treating her right. You’re not treating her like an audience for your blathering, and you’re not treating her like a vending machine for sex. You’re treating her like a person. Whatever she thinks about your looks, your musculature or your car, I guarantee she’s more interested in how it feels to sit across from you. And if it feels good, she’s going to want more of it.

Thirdly, look, the date might not fall the way you want. When a first date sputters out, it’s not fun for either party. But here’s the thing — if you were a consummate gentleman from point A to point Z, that attitude will carry over to your future outings. 

If you treat your next date like trash and make her regret the day she ever agreed to meet up with you? Well, you’re only doing your part to worsen the dating culture for everyone. You’re absolutely destroying your chances, and you’re more or less guaranteeing that no one will want to give you so much as a second look. 

So take your pick. Being a douchebag might be easier — but don’t you think being a gentleman has a happier ending? You tell me, Danny. 

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How to Know If You’re in Love

Not Sure If You’re in Love or Not? Here’s How to Know for Sure

What does it mean to be in love with someone, when you really get down to it? 

You might picture stereotypical scenes from romantic movies or lyrics from songs about love, people claiming they can’t live without the other person or they think about the other person constantly, but there’s more to being in love than just experiencing romantic desire and passion for someone else. 

What Does ‘Being in Love’ Mean?

“Deep romantic feelings are only part of the picture,” says dating coach Connell Barrett. “You also have a strong need to contribute to that person’s life — to make them happy, to give them kindness and compassion, to help keep them safe. You also want to grow with them. In short, being in love is about needing to give to and grow with someone you have strong romantic feelings for.”

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today,” agrees that wanting to share your full lives is a big aspect of being in love with someone.

“Being in love means wanting to share life with a partner, wanting to make that partner happy, caring about your partner’s feelings and wants, and feeling good about being together,” she says. 

In short, being in love with someone is a combination of different feelings — a strong desire to see and spend time with someone, not just in one specific way but in many different ways, not just in the short term but in the long-term as well. 

Being in love with someone is about feeling that you’ve met your perfect match — someone who’s deeply right for you, someone you’ll care for no matter what. 

The Difference Between Loving Someone and Being ‘In Love’

Of course, you might be curious about what differentiates simply loving someone from being ‘in love’ with them — and that’s a fair question. Is “I love you” different from “I’m in love with you?” And if so, why do we say the first to people we love as well as to people we’re in love with?

Some people might not necessarily draw a distinct line between the two concepts, but generally speaking, people understand that you can love someone without being in love with them — that we reserve ‘in love’ for one person only, someone we love in a romantic and passionate way.

“We love all kinds of people: parents, children, dear friends, good buddies, beloved mentors,” says Tessina. “However, being in love means wanting to share all aspects of life with that partner: living together, making love, building a life for the two of you (and maybe a family) feeling especially close to one person, closer than anyone else you love.” 

Part of that dynamic, Tessina notes, is the idea that the two of you could conceivably turn your long-term relationship into spending your entire lives together. 

“Your parents and children will grow away from you as you or they grow up,” she notes. “Your friends may move, get married, or otherwise be unavailable. The person you’re in love with and you intend to be with each other always, and you’re willing to work to make sure the relationship grows and thrives.”

What drives that desire for it to just be the two of you? Barrett argues that it’s simple: passion. 

“When you’re in love, you’re fueled by a strong passion for that person,” he says. “It feels like being possessed. That’s what a great relationship is: love and passion. Without that desire, you’re like very close friends. You may love them, but you’re not in love.”

While that passion is primarily emotional, often it can take the form of physical (that is, sexual) passion. 

“You want to be intimate with someone you’re in love with; kiss them, cuddle them, and have sex with them,” says Engle. “As simple as this sounds, ‘love’ vs. ‘in love’ basically boils down to romance and, unless you’re on the asexual spectrum, sex.”

Signs That You’re in Love With Someone

So how do you recognize that you’re really, truly in love with someone? Of course, there’s no simple way to do this. It will feel slightly different for every person and every couple, and there’s no simple set of things you can check off to show you that you’re in love. 

RELATED: What Does True Love Feel Like? We Found Out

However, there are some signs that might be useful in determining if your feelings really do qualify as being in love. 

“If you can picture a future with your partner, and there’s no one else you can picture that future with, that’s probably love,” says Tessina. 

It may also present itself as a feeling of nervousness or giddiness, initially. 

“The old phrase ‘butterflies in your stomach’ to describe love is actually pretty accurate,” says SKYN Condoms’ Sex & Intimacy Expert, certified sex coach, sexologist and author Gigi Engle. “This is short-term anxiety that feels exciting — kind of like being on a roller coaster. When you first fall in love, your brain is flooded with dopamine and oxytocin, which feels amazing. This is what cultivates sexual and romantic attraction.”

“Another sign is when your mind is obsessively thinking about the person,” Engle says. “Obviously in some cases this can be unhealthy — such as, if this isn’t someone you’re actually dating or potentially dating — but, when we’re in love our minds are awash with feel-good chemicals. We’re looking for that next hit of the good stuff: oxytocin, or the ‘love hormone.’ This is why being in love feels so good, and why we can’t seem to get our minds off our partner.”

Barrett agrees that thinking about someone a lot is definitely part of the package. 

“It starts with a feeling of euphoria, being in a new, exciting world,” says Barrett, comparing the feeling to the point in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ when the movie goes from monochromatic to full color. “That person in your thoughts constantly, making you giddy just to think of them.”

“You’re very interested in the things that they like,” he adds. “You check your phone a lot to see if they’ve messaged you.” And likely, he notes, you’ll be spending a lot of time being physically affectionate — whether that’s sex or things like holding hands, kissing, hugging, or simply lounging in each other’s arms. 

However, lots of these factors can be present in the early stages of a relationship — truly being in love is when these feelings last long enough to start thinking of what your life together will be like. 

“You want to plan the future with them in the picture — the trips you’ll take, the dog you’ll get, the house you’ll buy,” Barrett says. 

Signs That You’re Not in Love With Someone

OK, so maybe the above signs weren’t totally conclusive for you. What about when you’re not in love? Are there any surefire signs of that to help you sort out your feelings? 

RELATED: The Top 10 Signs That You’re in Love, Revealed

For starters, Tessina suggests, imagine if you could never have sex again — or your sex life would all but dry up. Would that change how you felt about your partner in a drastic way or would you want to stick with them?  

“If your main interest in your partner is sex, that’s not the same as love,” she says.

For Barrett, sex is less of a factor. He thinks if you’re not in love with someone, you’ll forget about them completely as soon as they’re not around. 

“The biggest sign you’re not in love with someone is that they’re not on your mind when you’re not with them,” he says. “You may like them, enjoy them, have great sex with them. But if you’re not thinking about them often, you’re not in love.”

“Another big indicator? They back out of something you’ve planned to do together — and you’re relieved,” he says. “And if you don’t day-dream about the things you share with this person, then you’ve either lost that lovin’ feeling — or you never had it to begin with.”

“You can be dating someone, find them fun and cute, and still not be in love with them,” says Engle. “Maybe you are enjoying playing the field or aren’t in a place in your life to get serious with someone. That’s OK too.”

“Really, if you want to know if there’s a future, envision yourself in a long-term, monogamous (assuming you’re monogamous) relationship, and see how that makes you feel,” she advises. “Are you scared or anxious? If it doesn’t make you happy or excited, it’s probably not love.”

Tessina agrees. “If you feel neutral about the relationship, and not committed to it, you’re not in love. If you don’t make each other happy, that’s not love.”

How to Handle It If Only One of You Is in Love

What about situations where two people are dating but only one of them feels like they’re in love with the other? 

Is the relationship doomed to failure or can you make it work? Of course, there’s no guaranteed way of knowing, but some factors can make it more or less likely that you’ll be able to work things out. The first thing you should know is that you shouldn’t panic. 

“It really depends on the context of the situation,” says Engle, as to whether things are salvageable or not. “If your partner says they love you and you aren’t ‘there’ yet, that’s OK.”

“Not everyone falls in love at the same time, despite what the movies will tell you about fairytale romances,” she notes. “You might just need a little extra time to get to that place. As long as you see the potential for things getting to love, you’re doing alright.”

“You have to be open and communicative with your partner about this,” Engle advises. “Let them know that you see the relationship moving forward and that really excites you, but you just aren’t ready for ‘I love you’ yet. It will probably hurt their feelings, but you have to be honest with yourself about these things and not say something you don’t mean.” 

What about if you’re the person who’s in love, but your partner isn’t? That can be a trickier place to be from an emotional standpoint. Tessina advocates giving them some space to figure out how they really feel.

“The first thing to try is backing off a little, to see if the person is just taking you for granted because you’re making it too easy,” she says. “If the other person comes forward when you back off, then it might be possible to balance out the relationship. If not, the relationship may always be one-sided, and it’s probably better to let go and find someone else.” 

Barrett agrees that sometimes, a relationship where only one person is in love just won’t be workable in the long-term. 

“When only one person is in love, that’s often the death knell for a relationship,” he says. “You can have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation to find out what might be missing for the person who’s not in love. Maybe there’s something you can work on.”

“But it takes two to have a great, passionate, loving relationship,” he says. “If only one of you feels that way, and it doesn’t seem like the other person’s feelings will change, end it. Life is too short to live it without real love.” 

How to Talk About ‘Being in Love’ With Your Partner

If you’re not sure how to bring that heart-to-heart conversation up, that’s normal. Love is a big, intense feeling, and the fear that your emotions might not be reciprocated can cause even the bravest people to clam up. So first things first, don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling to open up about things. 

“There is a beauty to vulnerability when it comes to being open about falling in love,” says Engle. “The best thing you can do is go for it, if it’s what you really feel. If you want to be more cautious, starting with,

 ‘I think I could see myself falling in love with you’ 

is a good first toe in the water. This way you get to gauge out where your partner is emotionally and move from there.”

She advises that you keep the conversation small and real, however — rather than shooting to be romantic. 

RELATED: Why Grand Romantic Gestures Are Bad Ideas

“No grand public gestures,” Engle insists. “This will probably freak your partner out and could lead to an embarrassing situation for both of you. If you want to do something cute and romantic, send them roses after the ‘I love you’ has happened. You don’t want to put pressure on someone to say something they don’t mean.”

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How to Navigate Football Season When Your Partner Hates Sports

Does Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Share Your Love for Game Day Warrant a Breakup?

Stating that autumn is one of the most wonderful times of the year is hardly a controversial opinion. From the changing colors of the leaves and all things pumpkin spice to costume parties around every turn, it’s easy to see why people love when the calendar flips to September and October. Here in the U.S., of course, we have another time-honored tradition that makes the fall season that much more special: football.

RELATED: How to Break Up With Someone Nicely

Saturdays and Sundays in the fall are practically holy days in American households across the nation — and no, not the get-down-on-your-knees-and-pray kind of holy. By one count, 73 percent of men and 55 percent of women watch NFL games on television, while millions more attend the contests in person every season.

That means roughly two out of every three Americans tune in to the NFL each weekend. Those numbers mean that if you’re a guy interested in finding a football-loving partner, you have pretty solid odds. But what happens if you don’t? What happens if you meet your significant other during the offseason, but when it comes time for kickoff, they refuse to sit down and watch a game with you?

If the two of you have other things in common, there are ways to stay happy without every weekend inevitably leading to a standoff over how to spend your time.

First off, if you’re with someone who doesn’t like sports, just know there is a zero percent chance you’ll be able to watch every single game you want — unless your plan involves becoming single again, that is. If your desire is to press onward with this individual, that’s a fact you simply have to accept.

Second, there is no magic wand you can wave to make your significant other care as much about football as you do. If they haven’t grown to appreciate the sport by now, it’s unlikely that your repeated attempts to sit them down in front of the television on Sundays are going to uproot their deeply entrenched beliefs that the game is either boring, pointless or just too aggressive for their liking.

The road to bettering your relationship, or at least making sure it doesn’t go off the rails, during those precious four to five months that football graces the television starts with one word: moderation. While you may want to watch 20-plus hours of football on the weekend, doing so will result in no favors where your partner is concerned. In fact, that behavior is more likely to result in you spending the night cold and alone on the couch.

“The assumption today is that you will watch any football possible,” wrote “The Wall Street Journal” columnist Jason Gay in a thinkpiece published a few years ago. “Not only will you watch it, you need to watch it, because it is the highlight of your weekend and the fiber of your being, as essential to your happiness as sunlight and chicken fingers and maybe actually more than the sunlight. Your attention is not so much courted as it is expected.”

In reality, we know the world won’t end if we miss some of the big game to spend a bit of time with our significant other. Relationships always call for a little bit of sacrifice, and getting away from the television for a while is a healthy habit to get into. Plus, they created sports highlights for a reason, you know?

The second thing to focus on is gratitude. Maybe it sounds a little weird to say “thank you” to your partner for putting up with your football addiction, but if they’re sitting down to watch a game with you when it pains them to do so, you have to realize that they’re making a small sacrifice for you. Buckling in for a three-hour affair that they absolutely abhor is likely not the way they prefer to spend their time, so simply acknowledging their willingness to do will you do some good.

As for the way to truly seal the deal, ensuring football season doesn’t leave your relationship in shambles? Be extra conscientious of the things you’re doing with your partner while the game isn’t on. That’s when you need to be paying attention to your partner as much as you can — partly to show them that no, sports aren’t the only thing you care about, and partly to store up some brownie points when kickoff comes back around.

Take your significant other out for a midweek date, cook dinner together one night or watch a show or movie they enjoy. The more your partner feels valued and connected to you throughout the week, the better chance they’ll be more accepting of your football fanaticism on the weekend … even if they still have trouble getting into the game themselves.

Speaking of getting into the game, there are a couple things you can do to get your disinterested partner more involved on game day. Thomas Edwards Jr., founder of The Professional Wingman, says getting them in the mix during football season just takes a little bit of planning.

“If you’d really like for your significant other to be a part of the experience, you can incentivize them,”says Edwards. “For example, if you’re a guy who likes to watch sports with the boys, have your boys invite their girlfriends and that’ll make yours more excited to join you.”

Basically, you should make game day more of a social event. For some, that means the actual game is the main event, while for others, the excitement comes more from spending time with friends or loved ones, sharing a smorgasbord of game day treats with one another, and basking in the party-esque vibes of the day.

If you just can’t seem to get your partner on board whatsoever, or if it seems that your viewing preferences will never exactly align, Edwards notes that’s no reason to cause concern in regards to the future of your relationship.

“Your viewing preferences are no different than your hobbies or interests,” he says. “Sometimes, they are different from your partner’s, and that’s okay — especially when individualism and ‘me time’ in a relationship are needed.”

For this same reason, Edwards also thinks we don’t necessarily need to seek out partners that are as wild about football or other sports as we are.

“If you really want to have a partner who’s as obsessed as you, awesome,” he says. “If you’d rather keep your fanaticism to yourself and have your partner be wild about ‘Jane the Virgin,’ that’s fine, too.”

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Dating With an STI Can Be Difficult – These Sites Can Help


Best Dating Sites for People With Herpes

Positive Singles
MPwH
H-Mates

Dating can be hard in the first place, and approaching it with an STI certainly doesn't make it any easier. It’s one of those things you have to disclose despite there never really being a good time for it. In fact, the idea of breaking down your own walls and sharing something so sensitive, not to mention something that inevitably comes with a backstory, may make dating seem difficult or even impossible.

Even with endless knowledge at our fingertips, many still still lack widespread knowledge of STIs — specifically, herpes. For those who don’t understand the incurable but highly preventable herpes virus, the idea of dating someone with it may seem like an automatic no, when there’s actually a lot more to it than you were taught in your sex ed class.

RELATED: Worried You Might Have Caught Something? These Are the Best At-Home STD Tests

First of all, HSV (herpes simplex virus) is more common than you probably think. It’s estimated that about half of the population has HSV-1, or what is widely understood as oral herpes spread just from oral contact. Beyond that, about one out of every six people age 14 to 49 have HSV-2, the latter which usually falls into the ‘traditional’ category of an STD. This strain is more often spread by more intimate sexual activities.

More important than how many people have the virus is the lifestyle that comes along with it. Just because someone has herpes does not mean he or she cannot date, or that they are tarnished in some way. An STI can be spread during an individual's first sexual encounter or simply because a past partner was not honest about their condition. Despite the outdated stigma our society carries around, having herpes in no way signifies the infected individual is dirty or promiscuous.

Dating with herpes may require more communication, self-restraint and creative intimacy, but it’s far from impossible. If you have HSV-2, it's important to be honest and tell your partner about the virus at an appropriate time. It shouldn’t be the first sentence that comes out of your mouth, but it also shouldn’t be the last before you jump into bed when passion can overtake rational thinking. 

RELATED: If You're Worried About Catching Something, This New Invention Will Help

Luckily, the Internet breaks down some of the self and society-imposed barriers that come along with dating with herpes, providing a transparent medium to interact and get to know others without so much worry about ignorant judgment or responses. When you discover the world of online dating for people with herpes, you’ll find that the comfort and security of being behind a screen allows you to easily open up about your specific condition, and be upfront and blunt more effortlessly than you are likely to be face-to-face. The virus becomes less important and who you are as an individual —your personality, quirks, likes and dislikes — are elevated.

The sites below, catered to those with herpes, provide a communal feeling for its users. Just being on them may do wonders to increase your confidence in offline dating, too. More importantly, niche sites designed for people with herpes streamline the process of getting over the STD-talk road bump, allowing for fun, meaningful connections with others while remaining both safe and honest. When it comes down to it, if you have the virus, there’s really no reason not to explore such sites. Go ahead and save yourself some time in your dating life as you read on to discover the best dating sites for people with herpes.

Positive Singles

Debatably the most well-known dating site for people with STDs, Positive Singles has an impressive 1.5 million membership base and counting. The dating site may be so attractive to individuals because it focuses on matching you not just based on your medical condition, but based on other, more standard compatibility factors such as your interests, lifestyle preferences, and even star sign. Beyond the non-bias matching system, Positive Singles has a host of other features some casual hookup sites don't. 

Positive Singles provides both transparency and privacy, with highlights such as the ability to see who has viewed your profile, the option to browse anonymously, detailed privacy settings that allow you to hide your profile based on a specific set of rules you create, a setting to hide areas of your profile (including the type of STD you have), and even the option to require a special password to open the app on your mobile phone. It also goes above and beyond to provide an immersive online dating experience complete with a 15-question profile section listing your answers, as well as the answers you’d like your match to have. There are also profile verification options, a Tinder-style swiping section, and even free one-on-one dating advisors — which usually alone cost more than any standard dating site membership. While it doesn’t constantly remind you that you are on a niche dating site (in a good way), it does provide some helpful resources and support including a care location directory, Q&A section, forums, and more.

Learn more at Positive Singles and read our full review here

MPwH

MPwH, which stands for ‘Meet People With Herpes,’ claims to be the original dating site for people with the virus. The inviting site is available for members with all sorts of relationships statuses, including those who are married and in a committed relationship, but is restricted for people only with HSV-1 or HSV-2. Profiles list what type of the virus you have, but it’s only a small field amongst over 25 other profile fields, including multiple choice and open ended questions. There’s also a reassuring profile verification option, along with a handful of privacy settings you can customize to your liking.

The herpes-only dating site feels and works much more like a traditional dating site, and is filled with an abundance of features that allow your personality to dominate your online presence. Video introductions and private albums allow you to make your experience on the site truly unique. You can sign up for a free membership and use about half of the features on the site, or upgrade to a paid membership to unlock over 30 additional features. It's not a big issue if you don't pay, but if you want to really get detailed in your searching or see others’ interest in you, such as who liked your profile, the upgraded membership is worth the price tag.

Learn more at MPwH

H-Mates

H-Mates screenshot

H-Mates is dedicated to connecting people with STDs for anything from friendships to serious dating. The site has a rather detailed sign-up form that looks much like one from its founding date of 2004. It has all the features of a basic dating site and operates just like one. There isn’t a ton going on behind the scenes here, with H-Mates providing more of a supportive online community where real connections can be formed. The site is not solely dedicated to people with herpes, but there is a profile field that lets you select the types of members you are looking to meet based on the type of STD(s) they have.

The options for self expression are impressive here, with the ability to upload an unlimited number of profile pictures (and a video introduction). You can browse and search to discover others, but there are a few other matchmaking features available after answering various types of questionnaires. You also get all the typical online dating ways of interacting, and even some rather unique ones, such as sending virtual kisses. The niche site doesn’t have the most modern interface or advanced matching algorithm, but it is 100 percent free to use. Going along with the ‘supportive’ theme of the site, H-Mates does accept donations, giving you access to premium features. With no paid membership, it somewhat equals the playing field for all members.

Learn more at H-Mates

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The Top Dating Sites You Need to Try If You're LGBTQ+


Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites

OkCupid
Adam4Adam
Grindr
Scruff
GayFriendFinder
Chappy
Tinder
Growlr

When it comes to online dating, gay men have been fortunate enough to find a space where they’re able to communicate with their dating prospects without judgment from the outside world. Sure, there are public spaces where it can be possible to meet a potential match, but even the gay clubs of today are filled with women who don’t want to be hit on by straight men, and straight guys so comfortable with their sexuality that they don’t mind the go-go dancers. Meaning, gay dating sites have been a welcome innovation.

According to a study conducted by HuffPost on the online dating behavior of 4,000 gay men, over 49 percent of users are between the ages of 25-39. Basically, if you’re a millennial, this is one of the best options for connecting with another gay man in a completely casual way. Of all the men surveyed, 79 percent stated that after using an app, they found a lasting and fulfilling relationship (whether is was a friendship, romance or friends with benefits), while 21 percent said they did not find love, only lust. You can take away that from purely a numbers perspective, men seeking men (or women seeking women!) would benefit from having an online profile.

RELATED: What to Do When Your Friend Comes Out to You – A Gay Man's Perspective

But online dating, no matter what your sexual orientation, can be challenging. You have to wade through hundreds of filtered pictures of strangers. Then you have to make awkward small talk to see if you’ll even have common interests to talk about once you meet up … and after all that, there is still the coordinating of the first date. It can be exhausting to go through the process time after time in the hopes of finding someone who will make you want to delete your online dating profile forever.

So if you’re looking to meet a new friend (or find the perfect guy to bring home to meet mom), browse below to find a beginner’s guide to online dating as a gay man.

The Best Dating Apps for Men in the LGBTQ+ Community

OkCupid

 

Although not exclusive to gay men, OkCupid still remains one of the most used online dating websites owing to the fact it’s free and has some major name recognition. When it comes to asking your friends which online dating website they’re signed up for as a millennial, most will respond with OKCupid.

It allows you to fill out questions in order to find matches with similar minded people, and since it is not toted solely as a sex app- chances are you’ll more likely to find someone you’ll be happy to bring home to mom to. OkCupid skips being like all those other dating sites with a slew of extra features such as allowing you to swipe on potential matches (much like Tinder) as well as answer insightful questions about yourself such as “What are your favorite novels?”

Whether you’re a gay Christian looking for another gay date to discuss your faith with, or if you’re a bisexual dude looking to experiment with going out to coffee with another male, chances are the OkCupid is the place to find them. In addition, their mobile app allows you to take your online dating profile everywhere you go, making this one of the best free gay dating options available to you. It’s worth mentioning that OkCupid was the first dating app to let users choose their preferred gender pronouns, and also provides 22 gender and 13 sexual orientation options to choose from.

Price: Free (A-List packages range from $32.99 to $119.99)

Pros & Cons of OkCupid

Pros

No cost to browse and interact with people on the site

Simple and straightforward design is easy to use and isn’t distracting

Upgrading to the A-list is cheap and offers great features

Cons:

People aren’t taking it seriously as it’s free to register

Have to pay to get full functionality of the site

Not as much selection in smaller cities or towns

Check out OkCupid

Read our full OkCupid review

Adam4Adam

Adam4Adam screenshot

 

One of the more commonly known gay online dating sites, Adam4Adam is more straightforward with its users’ intentions than OkCupid. The site is primarily used to find sexual partners who match your sexual and physical interests. This is great news for anyone who wants to try out a sexual fantasy or experience they’ve yet to have since Adam4Adam has an extensive filter feature that allows you to sort through users by age, race, weight, sexual position, and relationship status.

Yes, Adam4Adam even takes into account that a lot of homosexual couples are more adventurous with their sex lives. You’re able to sort through gay couples who are seeking to bring in a third for either solely fun or for a gay polyamorous relationship.

Either way, this free site has stood the test of time since it was launched in 2005 because it simply works to connect gay men who are both looking for a sexual connection and the potential for it to turn into more than just a one-night-stand.

Price: Free (VIP Memberships range from $5.49 to $104.99)

Pros & Cons of Adam4Adam

Pros:

Full range of services for free

Easy to navigate

Offers users vast filtering options

Cons:

High volume of fake profiles

Interface

Security concerns

Check out Adam4Adam

Read our full Adam4Adam review

Grindr

Grindr screenshot

 

Perhaps the most widely used gay dating app, Grindr has become synonymous with gay online dating. The reason for this is simple: Grindr is a clean looking app that allows you to filter through your matches who are in your local area. Using GPS match generation, Grindr allows you to see how far away your potential dates/ hookups/ new friends are from you.

Grindr is free, however the premium feature (which begins at 14.99 a month) allows you to see unlimited men in your area and get more specific with your filter searches (for example, the free version of Grindr only allows you to filter your searches with 3 categories while Premium lets you filter through 8 categories of specification).

Grindr is also known for first introducing the “tribe” feature for gay men. You’re able to sort yourself into categories such as: Jock, Nerd, Discrete, Twink, Daddy, Rugged, Poz, Trans, and Otter. This allows you to connect not only with like-minded people, but allows people who are interested in your specific “tribe” to locate you. All of this makes Grindr a big step up from using your local classifieds.

Price: Free (Xtra memberships range from $22.99 to $92.99)

Pros & Cons of Grindr

Pros:

Quick registration

Popular app with large active user base

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Cons:

Free account has limited search capabilities

Lots of ads

Can only view small number of profiles in your area

Check out Grindr

Read our full Grindr review

Scruff

Scruff screenshot

 

Piggybacking off of Grindr, Scruff is another geolocation gay dating app that allows you to “unlock” photos of yourself and others in order to expedite the pesky “pics?” problem apps like Grindr face. Scruff also has employed the tribe feature on the app, but allows you to back search for people who are directly interested in the group of gay men you most identify with.

In addition, it allows users to check out which queer-focused events are going on in their area during the week and which Scruff users in your area have RSVP’d. This feature not only makes Scruff both a great dating and sex app, but it allows gay men to meet in safe spaces where they can connect in real life.

Of course, Scruff is primarily used for those looking to make a sexual connection, and the lack of requirement for a profile picture opens up users to fake profiles and catfish. But, despite these minor setbacks Scruff succeeds where most gay dating websites fail- it moves beyond the solitary matching scheme and offers users the chance to attend events together, and to discuss queer news with each other.

Even if finding a sex buddy isn’t on your mind, Scruff is ideal for finding someone in your area that checks all your boxes owing to their varied and nuanced ‘categories’ section and filter options. It fulfills the need for connection, friendship, sex, and, yes, community building, something usually missing from those other gay dating apps.

Price: Free (Scruff PRO memberships range from $11.99 to $99.99)

Pros & Cons of Scruff

Pros:

Quick registration

Popular app with large active user base

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Cons:

Free account has limited search capabilities

Can only view small number of profiles in your area

Check out Scruff

GayFriendFinder

GayFriendFinder screenshot

 

The gay dating website that doesn’t have a sexually charged name, GayFriendFinder sets the scene for gay men to connect beyond sexual hunger. The site is free to sign up and allows users a plethora of space and description to tell the world what they’re looking for in a partner. Other apps- such as Grindr and Scruff, limit how many characters are able to be in a user's’ bio, which can mean a less concrete chance of finding the ideal person for you.

Much like Scruff, GayFriendFinder allows users to coordinate meetups, such as gay board game night or even a night out with new friends. The website allows you to search for gay singles in your area— and even includes a feature that allows users to announce when they’re traveling and who else will be in the area during that time.

By giving gay men more to do on a dating application than to ask each other for nude pictures, GayFriendFinder allows you to find your next date, friends-with-benefits, and, yes, next best friend.

Price: Free

Pros & Cons of GayFriendFinder

Pros: 

Gives users option to find singles, couples and groups

Promotes community with forums and original blog content

Verified email profiles

Cons:

Extremely limited free profile

Lack of active members

Limited filtering options

Check out GayFriendFinder

Read our full GayFriendFinder review

Chappy

Chappy screenshot

Owned and operated by Bumble, Chappy proudly bills itself as “the space for gay connections.” The social connection app is on a mission to end stereotypes concerning gay men and dating, doing so through four unique connection opportunities: “All Dating”  (open to any type of connection), “Casual” (sex or FWB, basically), “Commitment” (looking for a relationship) and “Friends” (no pressure). Other than these connection filters, the app operates just as Bumble does, using the familiar swiping method to make matches. It’s nice to see a company that's finally catering to the gay community and not as an afterthought by offering a safe, judgement-free space. 

Price: Free

Pros & Cons of Chappy

Pros:

A Bumble-like app full of gay users

Easy to indicate what (and who) you’re looking for

More people seeking relationships

Cons:

Prompts can come across as excessive

No direct matching algorithm

Still new, not many users

Check out Chappy

Tinder

Tinder screenshot

Tinder may seem like a straight person’s app, but it has recently made great strides for LGBTQ+ inclusion. Launched around Pride 2019, Tinder introduced the features “Orientation” and “Travel Alert”. The former is rather straightforward: Orientation lets users select their sexual orientation, acknowledging that the feature will “continue to evolve and change, just like sexuality.”The latter, Travel Alert, could potentially be a lifesaver, protecting LGBTQ users when they enter any of the 70 countries that have laws criminalizing queer people.

Tinder will alert an LGBTQ user when they open the app in one of these countries so they can take extra caution and not unknowingly place themselves in danger. Once the alert is activated, users can choose to remain hidden or connect with new people. If they choose to stay visible, their sexual orientation or gender identity will not be displayed until they leave the area. While the Orientation feature is admittedly a little late to the party, Travel Alert is a new and important feature that deserves to be recognized. 

Price: Free (Tinder Plus purchases range from $1.39 to $27.99)

Pros & Cons of Tinder

Pros:

Quick registration matched with a user-friendly interface

Popular app with large active user base

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Cons:

No matching algorithm to narrow field for gay men

Limited bio prompts

Check out Tinder

Read our full Tinder review

Growlr

Growlr screenshot

Growlr is an app similar to Grindr and Scruff, but is more niche, marketed primarily for bears (the typically huskier, harrier variety of gay man). The app, like Grindr and Scruff, uses geolocation technology to source potential mates for whatever type of connection you’re seeking. Currently, Growlr hosts a fraction of users that the other popular gay dating apps do, but that’s to be expected when you’re marketing to a fraction of the gay community.

Since its recent acquisition, the company that purchased Growlr, The Meet Group (which also owns dating apps Lovoo, Tagged and Skout) plans to introduce live-streaming capabilities. The streaming is meant to be an entertainment component with the idea being that when users aren’t getting a lot of messages, there are livestreams put on by others that can provide entertainment. 

Price: Free (Growlr PRO Memberships range from $5.49 to $13.99)

Pros & Cons of Growlr

Pros:

Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups

Users are active

Clean layout

Cons:

Limited “type” of men

No matching algorithm

Can only view small number of profiles in your area

Check out Growlr

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The Awkward-Proof Guide to Handling the Check on a First Date

How to Handle the Check on a First Date Without Making It Awkward

Nothing can disrupt the mood on a first date more than the bill being dropped on your table. Sure, the cocktails were killer with the conversation flowing freely, but just like that, the air shifts. It’s a stiff standoff as you and your date both awkwardly fumble for your wallets.

RELATED: 7 Things Women Expect on a First Date

Perhaps they reach for their card with no intention of actually paying, forcing you to repeatedly insist that you’d like to treat. Or perhaps you assumed you’d go dutch, but your date isn’t even attempting to contribute. There are lots of potential misunderstandings that can happen when the check comes, but luckily, it’s totally possible to avoid them altogether.

According to a recent survey of 300,000 single Americans, a whopping two-thirds (63 percent) of guys think that the man should pay on a first date. However, less than half of women (46 percent) agree. And while nearly one in five women prefers going dutch, less than one in 10 men are down to split the bill evenly. Sounds troublesome, right?

In reality, handling the check doesn’t have to be such a conundrum. The key is to go into the date with a specific intention, set that expectation ahead of time and stick to your guns. As for after the first date … well, then it gets a little more complicated — but we’ve got you covered. Below, we’ll go over how to handle the bill at every stage of your relationship.

How to Handle the Check on the First Date

According to etiquette and relationship expert April Masini, figuring out who should pay actually has nothing to do with gender. If you’re looking for a rule you can stick to that will simplify things, she’s got one.

“Whoever does the asking should do the paying,” she says. “In other words, if you ask someone out on a date, the polite thing to do is to treat them.”

Basically, if it was your idea to grab drinks or hit up that new restaurant, the gracious thing would be to cover the bill on your dime. That said, there’s still a chance that your date will try to contribute when the check comes. In order to minimize any potential awkwardness, Masini recommends being very clear about your invitation from the get-go.

For example, you might say “Let me buy you dinner,” or “Let me take you out, I’d love to treat you.” That way, your date can relax when the check comes as you’ve already made things clear ahead of time.

On the other hand, if you’re the one who was invited on the date and you feel uneasy about letting the other person pay, Masini suggests offering to cover the tab if/when you decide to go out again.

How to Handle the Check on the Third Date

Once you’ve gone out a few times, the dynamic may shift a bit. If one person initially paid the bill, the other person may decide to pick up some of the slack. But there are a few factors at play here: who did the inviting, like before, and who’s in a financial position to treat.

“If you both make similar amounts of money, then you can start alternating who pays for dates,” says Masini. “This should happen organically and casually. For instance, the person who has not been paying may pick up tickets to a concert and invite the other person. Or they may invite the other person for a home-cooked meal that they shop for and prepare.”

While some couples may opt to go dutch, Masini notes that it’s less romantic than switching off who pays the check.

“It doesn’t create a feeling of taking care of one another, which is a nice part of relationships,” she explains.

How to Handle the Check Once You’ve Started a Relationship

By the time you’re in a committed relationship, the status quo changes again. Very often, as that initial courting stage ends, both people in the relationship expect each other to pull their own weight. This is especially true once you move in together, blending your finances together as one.

“You both know more about how much you each make, save and spend,” says Masini, “and it’s easier to know who can afford to treat, and how you want to handle money as a couple. If you’re living together, you don’t just have dates to think about — you have to think about paying rent or mortgage and who pays what, who’s on title or on the lease and how you save and spend separately and together. By the time you’re living together, who pays for dates is a much smaller blip on the radar, and it’s dwarfed by who pays for groceries and how you’re saving for vacations and retirement together.”

Of course, income still comes into play when deciding who will foot the bill on dates. According to Masini, if there’s a significant difference in how much both partners are earning, the person who has the vastly higher income should pay for a larger portion of the dates as the relationship progresses. That being said, there are ways for the partner who earns less to contribute financially in their own way.

For example, if the higher earner picks up dinner on date night, the other partner can grab breakfast (or just coffee) the next morning. It’s important to note that it’s always better to openly discuss this kind of financial understanding than it is to make assumptions. While it may feel awkward to bring up who’s paying for what, it’s the only way to ensure you’re both on the same page, thus preventing the kind of misunderstandings that breed resentment or lead to conflict.

And any perceived awkwardness around the bill typically stems from your internal anxieties or beliefs.

“It’s often carried over from the way money was handled or taught growing up,” notes Masini. “If you expect to pay for a date because you invited someone out to dinner, then there’s no awkwardness. And if you expect to be treated to dinner because someone invited you, there is no awkwardness.”

Paying for a date is a very personal thing, and the status quo will vary from couple to couple, depending on their personalities, preferences, incomes, and other factors.

“In some cases, it’s more important to one person — regardless of whether they have more or less money than a partner — to do the paying because it makes them feel more capable and chivalrous,” adds Masini.

In other words, there is no perfect rule or formula for figuring out who should pay on a date. Generally, if you invite someone out, it’s a good idea to cover the costs — at least in the very beginning of the relationship. But when in doubt, talk it out. Once your relationship begins to progress, your dynamic will undoubtedly change, explaining why constant communication is key. The best part? Having these tough money talks early on will only make your relationship stronger (and will help keep from spoiling your dinner).

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How Dating and Relationships Have Evolved Over the Last 20 Years

Then & Now: 20 Years of Dating, Sites, Apps and Rules

Like with many different things in our lifetime, a span of 20 years is bound to bring some significant changes. And at no time does that feel truer than now, in this digital day and age when change feels so constant that it can be difficult to stick with at times.

RELATED: Best Online Dating Sites

For better and for worse, dating is one of those integral aspects of our lives that’s constantly touched by change, especially as the online side of things has made its way to the forefront over the last 15 years or so. But as things have changed, AskMen has been right here, helping you make it through every step of the way.

That’s why, as the site celebrates turning 20 years old this month, we wanted to take a look at just how far things have come since the late 1990s. The following is a snapshot of where we’ve been, as well as where we are now.

Meeting Someone, Then & Now

Then — You’ve got two solid options: get out there and be social, or have your friends set you up with someone they know. If you go the blind date route, you’re literally going in blind; there’s no way for you to check this person out beforehand, unless your buddy physically gives you a photo of them. Good luck!
Now — Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Facebook, Instagram, eHarmony, Match … the list goes on. Go ahead and slide into those DMs before someone beats you to it.

Then — Find out what you can from friends and friends of friends. Realize all of the information was wrong when you meet face-to-face.
Now — You are a social media sleuth. Check their Facebook (they do have one, right?), their Twitter, their Insta, their Pinterest or maybe even their LinkedIn. Just don’t accidentally like a photo from two years ago, or you’ll look like a major creep.

Getting in Touch With Potential Bae, Then & Now

Then — Sure, cell phones are around, but who even has one of those? You’re going to be calling a landline — you know, one of those stationary telephones with a spiral cord that loves to get tangled. Everyone except for the person you’re trying to reach will answer. You’ll have to leave a message with someone, but unfortunately, there’s no real guarantee that it will ever reach the ears it was meant to grace.
Now — You’re not a caveman … just text them. Use some emojis while you’re at it.

Then — Maybe you’ve added them to your contacts on AIM or MSN Messenger. Maybe you’ll get lucky and catch ‘em signed on to their dial-up, or maybe their little icon will tell you they’re away with a cheesy lyric-filled message. Either way, tread carefully: there’s always the possibility you’re getting trolled by their little brother.
Now — Get the Snapchat streak going because that’s how you know it’s real. Really, though, it’s easy: you hardly even have to have a conversation anymore. Just take an artsy selfie, scribble out most of your face, insert a self-deprecating yet playful message about how ugly you are, and send that baby on its merry way.

Becoming Your Best “Romantic” Self, Then & Now

Then — Stand in line at the local grocery store or pharmacy and pretend you aren’t looking at the glossy covers of women’s magazines that promise to teach you about “the hottest sex tricks you have to try.” Sneak a glance at some of the articles, mentally take a relationship quiz and then internally freak out after finding out you’ve been doing it all wrong.
Now — The articles have migrated online and multiplied a thousand fold, if not more. Travel to the darkest corners of the Internet. Find out anything and everything … just make sure you’re not looking at it on your work computer. They can track that.

Spending Time Together, Then & Now

Then — Plan cute dates frequently, whether that’s going out for ice cream, seeing a movie, or playing mini-golf. Hang out at the mall, because at this point, that’s still a thing. Picnics in the park are popular too, as is rollerblading or taking a long, leisurely hike (but actually).
Now — Does binge watching “Stranger Things” with your blackout curtains permanently closed count as a cute date?

Then — Stay up until an ungodly hour talking on the phone about life, your hopes and dreams, what you had for dinner, what you’re doing next weekend, regrets, your fears and your most embarrassing moments — any and all topics under the sun. Wake up the next morning, receiver still in hand, busy signal steadily thrumming in your ear.
Now — Fall asleep without responding to their goodnight text. Wake up the following morning to a scathing diatribe about your qualities, not only as a partner, but also as a human being. Alternatively, get hit with radio silence for the first half of the day. That’s dating for ya in 2019.

Then — Write each other cute messages on sticky notes, leaving them in places where they’re likely to be found. Author full-on love letters sharing or reinforcing your true feelings. Cobble together the perfect playlist filled with the likes of Savage Garden and Backstreet Boys, burn the songs onto a CD, create your own cover art and relish the look on their face when you give it to them.
Now — Text each other using incomplete sentences sprinkled with copious amounts of hearts winking kissy faces and eggplant emojis. How else would you get the message across. And by the way, what in the hell is a CD? Share a YouTube link to Lizzo’s latest banger.

Calling It Quits, Then & Now

Then — Man up and break it off in person, or stop answering the phone. Your call.
Now — Man up and break it off in person, or stop answering the phone. On top of that, you can now block their number, unfriend them on Facebook, unfollow them on Instagram, unmatch on Tinder, ignore their Snaps, or sign up to fly to Mars with Elon Musk.

In 2019, your choices are endless.

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Guess what sex postures a woman prefers depending on her personality…

guess-what-sex-postures-woman-prefers-depending-personality

Guess what sex postures a woman prefers depending on her personality…

Men this articles is not only for you but also for women! If you have your own favourite sex posture why not find out which type of woman suits you best depending on her personality?

Read below what Athens Escorts told us about sex postures a woman prefers depending on her personality.

Shy

Are you shy and you usually want to go unnoticed?

First tip:

Lower the lights, but do not switch them off completely. You can try the missionary posture because the guy gets the primes and you follow. If you feel uncomfortable with your body, the best thing you have to try at the beginning of the act is to make love under the covers. And remember that men are more focused on sex (Athens escort) and the eroticism that you transmit not to your imperfections.

Are you social?

Are you social, out of heart, are you the dominant woman? The best position attitude for you is to be above the man. Because you are above you make the most of the traffic and you have control of the situation.

If you are the type of a friendly woman…

If you are a friendly person, you will have better performances at stops that are warm and welcoming. Choose a place to be face to face with your partner and close to each other. Having sex with someone and wrapping around him is a friendly and welcoming attitude.

This is the type of the Girlfriend Experience Athens Escorts offer!

guess-what-sex-postures-woman-prefers-depending-personality

The Hard and Strong Woman

You may be harsh because you have a stressful life or are often moody. Oral sex is the key to this type of personality. Preliminaries are important because you will be better off and ready to do everything. An attitude of sex that the man has control, could work better.

The “Crazy

Try anal sex. It is a stand for energetic people. If you do not like anal sex, try the reverse cowboy, lie down and climb over it with your back turned to him.

Bonus:

Sit on a sofa or chair opposite a mirror so you can see yourself at the time of sex.

Read more about Athens Escorts:

 

 

Single But Too Busy To Mingle? Try These Dating Sites


Best Dating Sites for Professionals

Elite Singles
Match
The League
SeekingArrangement
Raya
The Inner Circle
Tinder
eHarmony
BeLinked
Whim
Coffee Meets Bagel
BlackCupid
Happn
Bumble

Are you interested in finding a long-term partner who works just as hard as you to form an adorable power couple? There’s an app for that. Do you have plenty of money, but not enough time to enter a relationship and would prefer a more casual connection? The internet has you covered in that area, too.

The question is: How should one navigate dating when time is limited? The answer requires sacrifice. “If dating is something you really want to commit to, then you need to prioritize and make time,” says Michelle Herzog, a relationship/sex therapist and owner of Center for Mindful Living in Chicago. “It's not likely that a romantic interest will suddenly appear while you are at your office 60+ hours a week.”

As a young professional's time is valuable, be clear on what kind of romantic relationship you have time for before starting the dating process. “If you are someone who regularly works more than 40 hours a week, travels often or has an unpredictable work schedule, then honesty with yourself and the people you are dating is critical to help manage expectations,” notes Herzog. “There are definitely ways to get creative while dating as a young professional, which includes joining local young professionals organizations, advisory boards or networking events specifically geared towards professionals in your age groups.” 

As a busy professional, it's also important to be up front about your time constraints. “If there is a particular person you are interested in, engage with them on a regular basis and being consistent in finding a time to meet for another date can be helpful steps towards prioritizing your romantic life,” she adds. “For most people, quality relationships determine quality of life, not how much time you spend at your office.” 

Because prioritizing work can lead to a skills deficit when it comes to dating and building healthy, adult relationships and we know that you’re busy, we've assembled a list of the best dating sites for professionals. Read on to get just what you’re looking for.

Dating Apps for Professionals

Elite Singles

As professionals, we respect a business that gets to the point. Elite Singles matches you with other successful people, and gives you more than a Facebook photo to base your opinion on, too. The high-end dating site collects information about profession and appearance, so you can be as selective with your dating game as you are during the hiring practice.

Try Out Elite Singles

Match

Match dating app logo over image of couple

Match.com is a household name. As a professional, you know that to become a household name, you have to be doing something right. When you’re looking for a relationship with another grown-up who is ready for a real relationships and real conversations, Match is the high-end dating site for you.. Rather than just swipes, the site asks for information that is both erotically and intelligently useful. If you know you’re looking for a toned brunette, those filters are available. Likewise, if you know you’d be better paired with someone who interested in marriage and children someday, you can search for that, too. Match.com essentially lets you search for your dream partner. While it’s free to look, it will cost you per month depending on what package you pick. Think of it as an investment. Plus, that monthly fee helps to weed out the flakes who would only waste your precious time.

Try Out Match

The League

The League dating app logo over image of couple
The League made headlines for its professionalism in the likes of Forbes for a reason. The dating app bills itself as the go-to high-end dating app for professionals with high standards. Rather than Facebook, it uses LinkedIn to verify work and education information provided. Not anyone can join The League; you have to apply. However, with application comes the promise that your matches are likely to be people that you’re actually compatible with. With the slogan “date intelligently,” their ads encourage you to keep Tinder for casual hookups, but use The League when you actually want to date someone.

You have to play by the rules to stay in The League. Members who don’t log in for two weeks will be kicked out. That also goes for “flaky” members who ignore messages, so get over your fear of commitment before you apply. For professionals looking to meet someone up to their standards, it is the way to go. You can rest assured that all potential mates have been screened and approved, so fear not about fakes or bots. The app makes it clear that the office is in mind, because every day at 5 P.M. (happy hour) their “concierge” sends you a batch of matches. If you “heart” one another, it’s on. Start chatting and meet up for in real life happy hour next time. 

Try Out The League

SeekingArrangement

SeekingArrangement dating app logo over image of couple
SeekingArrangement is undeniably controversial — we’re just going to lead with that. But as any businessman knows, if something is infamous, it’s because a lot of people are paying attention. SeekingArrangement connects sugar babies and sugar daddies. That means that usually beautiful, younger women, looking for a mentor to help with school or support their art, seek wealthy older gentlemen (and their wallets) for companionship.

We don’t judge and we’re not going to get high and mighty on you. Sometimes you want marriage; sometimes you want an arrangement. We praise Seeking Arrangements for its honesty. We respect that it can be hard out there for women to make it on their own. We also respect rich businessmen who would rather set up a casual arrangement when they want some company. And FYI, the website hosts sugar mommas, too. So if you’re a hot young guy looking for some support while you launch your own app, enjoy cougar hunting.

Try Out SeekingArrangement

Raya

Raya dating app logo over image of couple
Here’s the thing about Raya: It’s an application-based app “for people in creative industries.” (Read: celebrities) The waitlist is notorious; we know famous hot writers still stuck on the waiting list, so don’t let your ego get bruised if you don’t make the cut. However, if you are a professional in the creative industry, taking a shot and applying can’t hurt. You might end up sleeping with your celebrity crush.

Try Out Raya

The Inner Circle

The Inner Circle dating app logo over image of couple

The Inner Circle markets itself as “fine dating,” and they aren’t lying. Sure, like Raya, there is a waiting list that makes the app sound a bit pretentious but after swiping past dozens of disappointing potential Tinder matches, the selective screening process of the high-end dating app may be just the ticket for the serious person with precious social and literal currency. They vet potential users on age, photos, and social networks. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, so when it comes to dating, you’re allowed to be a bit pretentious.

Try Out The Inner Circle

Tinder

Tinder dating app logo over image of couple

Sure, everyone and their mother has Tinder, but that’s exactly why we’re here for it. Having Tinder is like owning good socks. Sure, it may not be the most special item of clothing in your wardrobe, but it’s pretty much a requirement. Along with hosting endless matches, we love Tinder for its easy location-based swiping. You may meet your future spouse, or you may meet a hottie for a one-night hotel stand while on a business trip. Tinder is a staple that everyone should have on their phones.

Try Out Tinder

eHarmony

eHarmony dating app logo over image of couple

eHarmony is a staple of dating websites. We use the word “websites” because it’s been around longer than apps even existed. While Tinder pretty much rely on photos and location. eHarmony digs deeper, asking about how many children you have, your religious beliefs, and how often you smoke and drink. This, paired with its success rate, inherently makes eHarmony a high-end dating site.

We dig eHarmony because while it’s more for people looking for long-term relationships rather than hookups, it has the same name recognition as apps like Tinder. That means more members, which means more matches for you. As a businessman, you understand that there’s power in numbers.

Try Out eHarmony

BeLinked

BeLinked dating app logo over image of couple
While it’s certainly happened, you may not feel totally comfortable sliding into the LinkedIn message center of the hottie who works for your company’s competition. However, you may enjoy the idea of meeting someone who shares your ambition. This is where BeLinked comes in. With a tagline of “Date like a professional,” the app connects you to other ambitious singles using LinkedIn information.

It even weeds out unemployed users, or those without jobs up to the app’s standards. BeLinked is for busy professionals who don’t just want to date or hook up, but that are interested in forming a power couple. While some hard workers are happy to use their gains to support a partner, others prefer those who work just as hard as them and have their own wealth. If that’s what you’re looking for, BeLinked is for you.

Try Out BeLinked

Whim

Whim dating app logo over image of couple
Whim tackles one of the biggest challenge of dating as a busy businessman: time. There’s a reason you have an assistant at work schedule meetings; you’re too busy attending them to tackle time management on your own. Whim acts as both your matchmaker and your personal assistant. You jot your schedule into the app, click the profiles of the people you want to meet, and Whim sets up the dates for you. All you have to do is show up.

Try Out Whim

More Dating Sites for Other Types of Professionals

Dating Site for Medical Professionals

Coffee Meets Bagel

Coffee meets bagel dating app logo over image of couple on date

Convenience is important for medical professionals as hours can be sporadic, long and unpredictable. It also means you have no time for duds. If you’re seeking something serious and substantial, Coffee Meets Bagel could lead you to your soulmate. Perhaps what’s most alluring about the app is it provides a limited number of matches each day, pairing you with only the most compatible profiles. The app also relies on mutual friends to pair you up, meaning prospective partners will not be complete strangers and may even give you something – or someone – to talk about. Like you, Coffee Meets Bagel values efficient dating because you’ve got no time to waste. 

Try Out Coffee Meets Bagel

Dating Site for Black Professionals

BlackCupid

Black Cupid dating site logo over image of couple

BlackCupid resides under the umbrella of the leading niche dating group, Cupid Media, which operates over 30 reputable dating sites. Like most sites in their portfolio, BlackCupid’s function is fairly basic, offering standard, gold and platinum memberships. The website asks users to list their occupation, making it a viable space for professionals to meet. While the dating site is rather rudimentary in its function, it is unique in that it offers a space where black singles can speak with other black singles. Best of all, BlackCupid offers a profile verification feature, so you can be assured there is no insidious behavior going on. 

Try Out BlackCupid

Exclusive Dating Site for Professionals

Happn

Happn dating app logo over image of couple

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Time is of the essence for busy and frantic professionals. That means convenience is important, and it’s why Happn may be the high-end dating app for you. Happn uses a unique geo-targeted system which matches users with people they’ve come into close contact with throughout the day. Considering most professional positions are stationed in large cities, matches in nearby office buildings or on bustling streets will be far more expansive than if you lived in a small town. Matches include the company and job title of each user, as well as any shared interests you two have, making for easy, breezy conversation. A suggestion: It’s also super easy to set up a casual drink after work at a nearby bar. 

Try Out Happn

Dating Site for Young Professionals

Bumble

Bumble dating app logo over image of couple

If you’re young and educated, Bumble is the app to use. According to stats, 72 percent of the dating app’s user base is under 35-years-old, and 91 percent of them have at least a Bachelor’s degree. The app is also great for those will little time to socialize because, as with work, there are deadlines to be met. Once a match is made, users only have a 24 hour window to make their first interaction, which in the case of this app, is all up to the female – an asset for those who fear the process of writing an inventive intro. 

Try Out Bumble

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Ask E. Jean – How to Cope When Your Ex Get’s Engaged


Dear E. Jean: Last year I met an adorable fellow at a bar. One thing led to another, and we ended up going home together that night. We saw each other off and on for several weeks, then he dumped me, saying I was too young for him. I’m 24. He’s 31. Six months later, he started dating a phony, obnoxious, downright dim-witted woman I work with. (We work in TV.) She was with me the night I met him! I had a hard time dealing with them being together, seeing as how he broke my heart, but I managed to function at work. Well, guess what, E. Jean? That bitch got engaged to him! Now it’s impossible for me to pretend that they don’t exist as she is wagging her ring all over. I’m inconsolable! How can a woman like that get engaged, and someone like me—smart, funny, friendly, cute—be single? It’s unfair! So unjust! How do I deal?—The Cast-off

Cast, my kumquat: Trust me, I’ve been there. You’ll never get over him until you stop hating her. Besides, the proper etiquette for picking up a random homie in a bar is for the young lady to make the event fun for everyone. So, how to “deal”:

1. Distance yourself. Step back, be the dragonfly on the wall when you interact with the woman—and observe yourself in the experience. Be “curious, not judgmental,” as old Walty Whitman says. You’ll feel instantly less wigged out.

2. Give her an engagement gift. This will make you see yourself—to elaborate on your female dog metaphor—as less the foam-flecked Hound of the Baskervilles and more the lovable Lassie.

3. While children are starving on this planet, you can loudly complain about “unjust,” but do it while you volunteer at a family homeless shelter. Check out the National Center on Family Homelessness (“For Every Child, a Chance”) at Familyhomelessness.org. You may meet someone here who’s “adorable” and not a total dickhead.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.



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Ask E. Jean: Why Hasn’t He Called?


Dear E. Jean: I’m a 28-year-old television news producer in Atlanta, and I met a guy (a creative director at an ad agency) two weeks ago in a bar. We had fantastic chemistry. After dancing half the night, we went back to my place. It all felt so good until he took his shirt off. I ran my hand over his back, and he was covered in large moles! I got seriously turned off, couldn’t touch him, couldn’t even look at him. I said we were moving “too fast” and asked him to put his shirt back on.

He stayed the night, so basically we made out. I have to admit I was not impressed with the way he kissed. In the morning, I just wanted him out of my bed. Frankly, I was desperate to get him out of my apartment. Okay, he was a lousy kisser and his moles got to me, but my question is: It’s been 13 days, so why haven’t I heard from him? What went wrong? I thought he liked me! Why hasn’t he called? —Crazy, Stupid Crush

Miss Crazy: Auntie Eeee will lose her faith in womankind if you’re sincerely asking why you haven’t “heard” from a chappy you couldn’t bear to “touch,” “look at,” kiss, or run your hand over. For future reference, if you want a man to call, tell him: “Don’t call me.” Men (and women—as you so perfectly prove) are more turned on by a challenge than by an invitation. For more tips about calling (and cocktail coaching), go to DatingEJean.com.

This letter is from the E. Jean archive.



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Sex and Zodiacs!

sex-and-zodiacs

Sex and Zodiacs!

How do signs of the zodiac have sex? Are they sensual? Is it spontaneous? What vices do they make out? What turns them away? An Athens escort can easily tell apart what sign of the zodiac is the partner she has!

Read below to find out all the answers:

Aries

The favourite phrase of Aries is “Fast to the Roast“. Aries’s temperament in sex does not differ from his real life – he likes it spontaneous adventurous and wild. Feelings are better to miss, otherwise Aries get… the down walk.

Nevertheless, he will give his best, perhaps more than needed.

Taurus

Unlike Aries, Taurus has other vices. He wants hugs, he wants atmosphere, he likes sensual situations. He will welcome his partner with candles, red wine and strawberries – whatever you see in TV.

If he falls into a partner who snorts sensuality and wants unpredictable sex (that is, Aries), he gets him down.

Gemini

Gemini, while he is old-fashioned and wants specific things in sex, likes to have a “basic recipe“. Occasionally, he wants sensuality, sometimes he also wants to get it. Sometimes he wants a little role play, and others wants to move from one room to another.

If you do not want to move around, do not stay undead or “starfish“. She does not have sex just to do.

Cancer

Most times Cancer is misunderstood, he’s too romantic and sweet to sex. The truth is that one of the reasons that he is unique is because to take out his vices he has to do it slowly – otherwise he will scare his partner.

If you want to push the Cancer, just look at yourself in bed.

Leo

He wants to have tremendous performance in sex. And it is not enough for him to feel himself performing well, he wants and his partner to agree to. He likes words in sex, especially when it comes to him and how delightful his sex is.

He will get back if he realizes that you are bored even for a while – he will not like it at all.

Virgo

As long as the hypothetical partner takes care of the body’s (and oral) hygiene, Virgo can become very “dirty” in bed. It is enough to get to know a little, so much that there is the necessary intimacy.

He will be in an unperturbed sensitive area or dirty sheets. He must have his head clean so that he is concentrated wherever he should.

Libra

Libra is another sensual sign. At the same time, he likes to experiment, in such a way that he learns his partner’s buttons: by mutual masturbation let’s say.

He will be even if he is hurt, even for fun. For example telling him about his belly, it probably will not have any positive results.

Scorpio

He will do his best to satisfy his partner – the Scorpio’s partner will be badly miserable. He is observant and knows how and when he should add a bit more passion. Especially enjoying anal sex, as it requires more lust.

It turns him off when he finds his girlfriends with someone who just make her happy. No, if you do not want sex, do not give him the favour.

Sagittarius

It is the definition of experimentation. To the extent that if his partner is not very open-minded, he may freak him a bit. He likes to play porn movies on screen as long as he does sex; not because he’s “making it” but because he likes to try out ideas.

If you want to force him, tell him “I love you” the first time you have sex.

Capricorn

Generally, Capricorn works with goals, sets them and achieves them. So that’s the sex for him. What is the purpose of sex? Have orgasm both. Therefore, he will learn everything about his partner’s tastes and will adapt accordingly. The next stop is his own, though.

If you do not want to stay away, do not criticize his or her tastes on the bed. Everybody bothers them, but Capricorn affects him a little bit more.

Aquarius

To irritate an Aquarius, you must stimulate his mind first. He likes cinematic sex – and we do not mean sex under the sheets combined with a French kiss. He’s looking for exaggeration. And if this exaggeration means sex on the balcony or bromoglossy at a loud intensity, the Aquarius is in.

You will be relieved if you want the same things all the time. Some people like it, not Aquarius.

Pisces

Pisces are supposed to like romance, and you are right. But he has another side, his wild side. For anyone looking for a partner who ‘sells’ a little the fairytale, but to do a wild bed, Pisces is the ideal one.

Pisces does not easily move away. However, if he does not like something, he tells you and you ignore it, better go home.

Every sign of the zodiac has its own characteristics… choose the one that suits you best in bed (Athens escorts) and enjoy the most.

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Who are more Prone to being Unfaithful?

who-are-more-prone-to-being-unfaithful

Who are more Prone to being Unfaithful?

ESCORTS IN ATHENS

What is the real reason why women deceive their comrades?

While there are many motivations for infidelity, including revenge, boredom and emotion, experts say that sex determines precisely why we can cheat behind the back of our partner.

People deceive for all sorts of reasons, but it is your gender that determines why you may be unfaithful.

As for women, ladies tend to play in the field if they feel emotionally depressed – while men are more likely to move away if they are not satisfied with the physical side of their relationship.

While there are many reasons for unfaithfulness, experts say that the majority of times, the motivations behind cheating differ according to gender.

who-are-more-prone-to-being-unfaithful

Why are women deceiving?

  • Surveys show that women often wander when they feel they have an emotional gap with their other half and feel lonely
  • Men tend to deceive when they feel they do not get enough sex at home or they are sexually attracted to another woman

Family therapists claim that women usually say, “I felt alone, there was no contact between us, I was not close to my partner, and he always took me for granted.”

They also say they need to have someone to look at them and make them feel sexy again.

Women tend to be unfaithful if they feel emotionally deprived.

who-are-more-prone-to-being-unfaithful

Which gender is more likely to fall in love after cheating?

Rutgers University biologist, Ellen Fischer, says women are more likely than men to fall in love with the person with whom they cheated on their partner.

Women are also more likely to be deceived if their mothers have cheated their father in the past.

A recent study showed that 71% of the women who cheated revealed that their mother had also done so!

ATHENS ESCORTS

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7 Sexy Tips On How To Set Up Your Bedroom

7 Sexy Tips On How To Set Up Your Bedroom-1

It’s common knowledge that our environment has an influence on our realities and the way we feel. If you could stand some improvements in the bedroom, there are some fantastic ways that you can improve your romantic life, and most of them are so simple and easy to do. Things can get stale if you don’t change them up every now and then. We have some 7 sexy tips about how to set up your bedroom for better sex.

Call and enjoy the erotic appointment with your unique call girl.

1. Turn your bedroom into a sacred space

A bedroom that is filled with work equipment, dirty laundry or piled high with miscellaneous items doesn’t create a romantic mood. Find another place to store these items and make your bedroom your romantic sanctuary. Remove the things that remind you of work and create a comfortable and clean space that is reserved for sleeping and romance.

2. Decorate with equality

Since there are two of you in the relationship, if you’re living with a partner, decorate the room to be relaxing and sexy. Make sure to include things that make you feel special and things that make your partner feel equally special. When it’s a space that both of you are comfortable in, the sparks are more likely to ignite into flames. Creating equality in the physical outlay of the bedroom can be symbolic of your relationship.

3. Make the bedroom smell inviting

There are many different kinds of sexy scents that you can invest in for your bedroom. It’s a good idea to choose scents that you both like. A word of warning though. When browsing through the various aromatherapy scents available, look for one that creates a sense of calmness but one that also invigorates you. When you feel more invigorated, you’re more likely to have an energetic intimate encounter.

The sense of smell has a powerful influence on our sexual appetites and desire. Find a scent that you both agree upon, find a good quality diffuser or lightly scented candles and lightly scent your bedroom. A few tips on relaxing scents are jasmine, vanilla, tea tree oil, and lavender. Energizing scents are rosemary, citrus, orange, and lemon.

4. Keep the temperature a little cool

A room that is too warm can make you both feel sleepy. It can also interfere with the quality of an erection. The ideal temperature for a sexy bedroom is slightly cool. This can help to stimulate both partners and keep the heat down until your raise it naturally. The perfect temperature setting is between 67-70 degrees Fahrenheit. You’ll also enjoy a better quality of sleep.

Choose and realize your dreams with a unique and erotic call girl.

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4 No-Pain Tips For Anal Sex Beginners

4 No-Pain Tips For Anal Sex Beginners-1

4 No-Pain Tips For Anal Sex Beginners

Anal sex can be such a fun, exciting and super-pleasurable experience. However, lots of people get it so wrong that anal sex has a bad name. Some people try to avoid having anal sex altogether. First, I’m going to cover the ground rules of preparing for anal sex, which you absolutely can’t avoid, like staying clean and safe.

Find your favorite call girl and kinky sexy ideas with hot erotic games as the bed.

The reason so many people never want to try anal sex with their partner is because they think it will be messy, unsexy or even unsafe. Follow these guidelines during your anal sex preparation and you will never have to worry about it being messy or unsexy.

TIP 1. Make sure you are clean

Some people think that just because you can’t get pregnant from anal sex means you don’t need a condom. If you are not both 100 percent monogamous or have been tested, you need to wear a condom. Catching an STI from anal sex is very possible. This is especially true if it’s the receiving partner’s first time, due to very small skin tears in the anus and rectum.

Choosing the right condom and lubricant is also crucial when learning how to prepare for anal sex. If you are using a latex rubber condom, then you must NOT use an oil-based lubricant. Oils will degrade the latex condom, making it highly likely that it will tear, something you absolutely don’t want to happen. So remember to choose a water-based lube when using latex condoms.

Tip 3. Don’t do anything you feel forced into

One of the biggest problems when preparing for anal sex is that guys can develop an obsession with it. It could be because he’s curious, he wants to tell his friends “I’ve had anal sex,” or it could be any other reason.

That’s perfectly fine, but you absolutely should never feel forced to have anal sex with anyone. Just because your man is insisting on it doesn’t mean that you have to do it with him. If you really don’t want to try it, then don’t. It’s as simple as that

TIP 4. Learn to relax your sphincter muscle

At the entrance of your anus is your anal sphincter. This muscle plays a crucial role in how much you enjoy anal sex with your man. This muscle isn’t like others. It can’t relax very quickly; instead, it takes quite a while to fully relax, but once it does, it can stretch quite a bit. When it’s tight, it’s very tight. So during your anal sex prep, you need to set aside some time to allow your sphincter to relax comfortably.

If your man just tries to enter you without allowing you to first relax, then you’re going to have a very painful time. A good way to start getting it to relax is to first slip a lubed finger in there. Then, hold it in place for a few minutes and just relax. You’ll notice after a while that your sphincter just naturally loosens up. The key is to allow your sphincter to relax enough so you can fit your man’s penis comfortably in you.

Make an appointment with your call girl , at least two hours before meeting with the escort at the hotel.

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5 Kinky Valentine’s Day Ideas With Call Girl

Kinky Valentine's Day Ideas

5 Kinky Valentine’s Day Ideas With Call Girl

Although Valentine’s Day is said to be the most romantic day of the year, the overwhelming gimmick of gifting flowers and chocolates to your significant other isn’t for everyone. If you’re looking to celebrate in romantic mood and somethimg more sexy and hot way of thinking, there are plenty of edgy, fun, and absolutely still romantic ways to have a sexy Valentine’s Day with your call girl.

And what better way to show for call girl how much you love her than with these sexy Valentine’s Day ideas? All you need is a little imagination and creativity, so get ready to be the passionate you know you are. This sexy moments is going to be one you will never forget.

1. Try a news  sex toys

Who says you can’t treat yourself on Valentine’s Day? Spice up your sex life with a brand new, shiny toy that’ll hit satisfy all of your sexuals needs. While you can give it to your partner to use on you, there’s certainly nothing wrong with playing by yourself. You can’t go wrong when using a masturbation sleeve, especially one like this that has multiple speeds and functions that’ll leave you checking to see if your penis is still attached to your body. A toy that twists, spins, and rotates your member to completion is one that every guy should have in their nightstand.

2. Feel the Heat

Pick up some massage candles that are made of soy wax. With their melt temperature lower than conventional wax candles, they’ll keep a strong glow going in even the darkest of bedrooms. Plus, the longer lasting flame gives you chance to use that candle wax for a much sexier purpose. The best sex positions have the dominant partner on top. If you’re trying to be a little more ferocious, be the one to take the initiative. Take control and pace between slow and faster rhythms to make your partner ache for more. Lie on your call girls in missionary to remind them who’s boss, or take them from behind, which is a great position for some spankings and clitoris games.

3.Try something you’ve never done before

Enjoying a new experience together is a surefire way to make memories. In the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, you and your partner can each make a list of sexy experiences you’ve never had, and then share them with between you.

The night is yours, of course, but if you’re looking for prolonged sex, try something new that requires taking your time, like experimentation with bondage. Just make sure you have all necessary supplies and sex toys on the big day.

Try a sex toy with someone special, like a sewage cleaner handyman or a plumber.

4. Give an erotic massage each other

While going out for a professional couple’s massage is a wonderful Valentine’s Day date idea, for a more intimate sex-based evening, give each other erotic massage. Don’t mean a simple shoulder rub after a long day of work we are talking about a full-blown massage in which happy endings are encouraged.

Light candles and invest in aromatherapeutic erotic massage oil. Ask call girl to start like a professional sexy masseuse and relax your back, shoulders, arms, and legs, and then slowly moves on to yours genitals, communicating as you talking

5. Experiment with delaying orgasm

While orgasms may provide an awesome high, they have their downsides. Mainly, if one partner comes before the other, it’s easy for things to wind down fairly quickly. This is why edging, or purposely delaying orgasms, can be a fun way to mix things up and extend sex. Practicing edging is simple. If  your call girl comes close to orgasm, you stop stimulation right before it actually happens. Then, after a pause, you resume the stimulation.

Simply pausing right before you or your partner reaches orgasms makes things extra exciting and can even add in a BDSM-esque power dynamic. By the time you or your partner is finally allowed to come, the tension will be so high that the resulting orgasm is Valentine’s Day-level explosive.

Find your favorite call girl and kinky sexy ideas with hot erotic games as the bed of Valentine’s day.

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How To Find Her G-Spot

G-SPOT

How To Find Her G-Spot

So elusive is the G-spot that many women don’t even seem very sure they have one. Based on decades of research that hasn’t really found anything conclusive, it’s probably better to think of the female G-spot like it’s a sex position or a fetish to indulge. Some women go crazy for it, while others…not so much. Either way, if you know the right way to go about looking for the G-spot, your girl will enjoy the hunt.

It’s especially important for women, who are often more likely to orgasm from clitoral stimulation, like g-spot orgasm , duh, if that wasn’t clear already. You can follow the advice of our beautiful escorts girl.

Make sure to warm up first

First and foremost, make sure your hands are clean and your fingernails are trimmed, because you’re going to be putting them in a very sensitive place. Due to its tucked away location, “fingers are usually most effective at finding and stimulating the G-spot“.

If your partner is on her back and you insert a finger with your palm facing the ceiling, the “top side” of her vagina is the spot you’ll touch by curling your finger in a come hither motion, almost like you’re trying to stroke her belly button from the inside. If you’re having trouble, have her draw her knees back toward her chest to give your fingers better access.

Even if your partner is moist from foreplay, that a few drops of lubricant might make things more comfortable for your call girl.

How to stimulate her G-spot

Once she seems comfortable with your finger inside of her, use that same curling motion to softly massage the top of her vagina with the pad of your finger. If you feel a ribbed or textured area, you’re on the right track to the G-spot.

Stroke the G-spot in a rhythmic motion, trying different speeds and amounts of pressure until you’ve found the one she most enjoys. “If she isn’t giving you feedback, don’t pick up the pace or increase the pressure. Ask her how it feels, and adjust your moves accordingly.”

There’s a chance she might not enjoy how it feels, especially if she’s had problems finding her own G-spot in the past. If this is the case, abort the mission and try again another time. It may take several attempts, or the G-spot may just not be her thing.

How to take it to the next level

Once you’ve revved her up with your fingers, rear-entry positions like doggystyle are especially good at stimulating her G-spot. “Make sure she’s on all fours with her back arched slightly, as opposed to lying with her head on the bed. Try lifting her hips and thrusting in a downward motion so your penis can more easily rub the front wall of her vagina.”

Now, you have the unique opportunity to enjoy all kind of escorts programs, as how you reach your climax , in all areas of Attica and the surrounding areas, as well as in special occasions even outside of Athens, which are provided to you after the  contact with the agency.

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