Dating In Your 40s Has Never Been Easier
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Still dating over 40? Perhaps you have yet to find someone you’d like to tie the knot with. Or, maybe you’ve finally recovered following the messy, painful aftermath of a divorce, and you’re ready to get back out there and test the waters. Or maybe you have been so hyper-focused on building a career, investing in the right deals and preparing for the future that you forgot your soul needed a game plan as much as your brain did.
No matter the reasons why you find yourself single after the age of 40, diving back into the pool of eligibility can bring hesitation, confusion and fear. After all, you are no longer an innocent teenager. You have been around the block — and then some — and you are likely more stuck in your ways than you realize. So what next?
How to Meet Singles Over 40
Dating in your 40s can be tricky. Particularly if you’re on the dating market for the first time after years (or even decades) of being married, you might not have a sense yet for what dating is like in 2019, given how quickly dating culture is changing nowadays.
The first thing you should know is that everyone (yes, everyone) is online. Singles nights, speed dating and asking out your coworker are now relics of a long-forgotten past; while it’s still technically possible to start a budding romance via real-life interactions, the preferred mode of finding a date is to do so online.
That’s because 1) you can be confident that everyone on a dating site is actually looking to meet someone, which you can’t be confident about at, say, the grocery store, and 2) you’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy by going to the place where everyone congregates for this exact purpose.
That means screwing your courage to the sticking point, signing up for a site or two (or downloading an app or two) and getting ready to e-mingle. As a 40-something, you might not have all the finer details of online dating down just yet, but fear not! The people you’re messaging will be in the same boat — or at least, a similar one.
After a month or two of checking out people’s profiles, sending and receiving messages, and (hopefully!) going on some dates, you’ll have a pretty good idea of how the whole thing works. All that’s left is to find the right person for you — so what are you waiting for?
The Best Dating Sites for People Over 40
Once you hit 40, dating sites and apps can seem a little strange. Many of the more modern options that promote swiping your way to a good time — like Bumble, Tinder, or Hinge — might skew a little young and frivolous for your liking. Or, in other words, if you are aiming for a serious encounter, you need to put your energy in the right direction. Therefore, you should focus your attention on catered dating websites and apps that cater to the over-40 age group and the type of relationship you’re seeking.
You’re more likely to meet people you want on a site that aligns with your values and needs, and online dating will be a lot easier and less stressful if your potential matches have been pre-screened for your needs. You already know how to best use your time on other tasks — at work or at the gym — so why not be productive in your love life, too?
Before you jump in, make sure you’re not fooled (or overwhelmed) by the endless options. As with any website that requires your personal information — like your credit card, location and more — it’s important to read through the fine print of any website you browse. You don’t want to invest your energy, confidence and hard-earned dough into something that isn’t worth it. Not sure where to start or how to proceed? Luckily, we’ve completed the deep dive for you and have narrowed down the top sites to focus your energy and time. Though these are safe choices, there are some untrustworthy sites that make promises they can’t keep — from fake members to guaranteeing success.
These recommended destinations for those looking to engage in some over-40 dating attract those who are not only in your age range but on your same page. Who knows? You might score more than a date this weekend — you could find… the one:
While Zoosk might not be popular with the younger American crowd, this international dating app has quite a presence around the world. With more than 35 million members – from the United Kingdom and Canada to Australia and throughout Europe – this app is definitely ideal if your fast-paced career has you traveling far and wide. You have the opportunity to meet singles from many countries, casting a much wider net than you would stateside. Since its founding more than a decade ago, Zoosk has invested in what it means to create a lasting, loving connection, changing its algorithm and offerings throughout the years to meet its members’ needs.
One feature that sets them apart from competitors is how they measure and track the validity of photos. When you start venturing into your 40s, you might be wary of users who look unreasonably younger than they should, but when you’re touring Zoosk, you never have to worry. They designed this app so that you’re not paired with someone who is representing themselves 10 years and 20 pounds ago, but rather, as they are today. How does it work? If Zoosk can’t verify a photo you uploaded, you’ll be asked to provide a video as proof. In addition to this safeguard against liars, they also use what they call ‘proprietary behavioral matchmaking engine’ that makes recommendations based on how you message, how you surf, what matters to you and how you click around. Though Zoosk does require a paid membership to truly interact, those who are in the market for love post-40 swear by its success, so if you’re an older man looking to get into internet dating, it’s the ideal place to start.
Find out more at Zoosk.com
As one of the most trusted and beloved dating sites, Match.com has used their 23 years of existence to bring together thousands of couples. While the company has evolved over time, they stay true to their belief that long-term relationships can be cultivated from online to in-person, thanks to thoughtful and meaningful profiles that get to the heart of their users. While you will be paying for one month, three months, six months or a year through their various subscriptions, what you reap in return is well-worth the investment. But consider yourself warned, it is an investment, indeed.
Unlike a lot of online dating sites, when you first sign-up for Match.com, you’ll need to carve out some time (preferably with a glass of your go-to beverage) to answer several questions. Here is where being specific and honest about your hopes in dating become more important: Match.com sends you recommended singles based on these responses. And beyond their algorithm, it’s reasonable to conclude the people who are on Match are looking for something serious, meaning they’ll actually take the time to comb through your page.
Another perk of joining Match is their blossoming secondary company, Stir. Depending on where you’re located, you can browse through local events – from happy hours to kickball games and day trips – that bring together users based on interest. This can be a more exciting way to meet singles in your area that are Match users, without having a long conversation back and forth.
Find out more at Match.com
For another way to find love, you might consider this international player in the dating market, Elite Singles. When you first sign-up, you’ll go through their unique personality test, organized in 10 sections, that asks everything from your background and education to your value system and your interests. Based on the ‘Five Factor Model’ theory of personality traits, it uses trusted logic from psychology to truly provide reputable matches.
This means that unlike most dating sites where you can browse through hundreds of profiles as often and frequently as you’d like, this destination uses the results of your test to present 3 to 7 suitors per day. Especially if you’re someone who tends to get stressed by a plethora of option – or you don’t want to waste time browsing instead of dating – this might be the best option for your lifestyle. It is important to note that while reviews are mixed for this site, its reputation continues to be stellar for those 40 and over, in particular.
Find out more at EliteSingles.com
Another dating site that’s been around for decades is eHarmony. And for good reason: they use a proprietary questionnaire around beliefs, emotional health, skill sets, characteristics and more to create “happy couples.” The keyword, of course, is couples: eHarmony isn’t a site designed for hookups or random flings, but they truly focus and foster a committed approach to love. You’ll notice the more time you spend on eHarmony, the more success you’ll have, since their software takes note of how much time you spend on profiles, what you search for and more.
While eHarmony has matched together twosomes for more than a decade, it wasn’t until last year that they gave their users a glimpse into the process. Starting in 2017, a now-popular feature ‘The Two of You Together’ became available to all members, showing the specific data on why you should probably message that cutie already. As a paid service, eHarmony is among the top options for heterosexual men.
Find out more at eHarmony.com
For a great spot to score a date past 40, look no further than Love Again. It’s designed specifically for mature daters (yes, that’s you), so you’ll enjoy the ease, the simplicity and the purpose behind this app. Since you likely want to spend less time thumbing away long-winded apps and more time meeting your could-be partner over drinks, a game of tennis or overlooking art at a gallery opening, you might find this app to be a more natural way to create connection. Depending on your style, you can browse through profiles, join group chats, instant message folks you’re really interested in, ask questions in forums and more.
While it’s not as racy or modern as other competitors on the market, for a way to get started without getting frustrated, you’ll enjoy having many more potential dates within your desired age range. Especially since, hey, that means you have more of an opportunity to truly fall for a person who is looking for the same future you are.
Find out more at LoveAgain.com
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